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    I never suggested not going for it in future, I said maybe go for a drink with him first and see if you two do have any chemistry.
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    this guy clearly likes you. And so what if you don't know him well. Half of first dates are between people who don't know each other well. If you can't see it going anywhere after a couple of dates then end it...otherwise, like mascara eyes said, you won't know what might have been.
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    no but I was worrying about the bit where someone said that he wouldn't ask someone out like this and that the guy might just be looking for a bit of fun, and basically that the way he went about it was bold.
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    (Original post by Clubber Lang)
    jeez, dont go - its all gonna end in a bloody mess

    you'll be abck here i n2 weeks telling us how it all ended up weird.
    huh, why do you say that?
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    (Original post by Tasha89)
    huh, why do you say that?
    because you sound so unsure

    adn this forum is full of people with problems that could have been avoided but they went on and did things they probably shouldnt have done anyway.
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    (Original post by Clubber Lang)
    because you sound so unsure

    adn this forum is full of people with problems that could have been avoided but they went on and did things they probably shouldnt have done anyway.
    like I said I'm worried about this, not about whether I like him or not:
    I was worrying about the bit where someone said that he wouldn't ask someone out like this and that the guy might just be looking for a bit of fun, and basically that the way he went about it was bold.
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    I don't get the problem here - he's fit, you like him, he's asked you out! It's all good!

    I don't think it's weird that he's added you - everyone adds everyone on Facebook, you get people you never even spoke to at school adding you, so that's not weird. Seeing as he met you out with friends rather than knowing you through school though, it suggests he likes you, which is all good if you like him too!

    If you're not sure about him as a person, ask your friend if he's a good chap. You don't have to launch into anything, just go out casually with him, like meet up for a drink or something. If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't go, but if you like him and feel safe about the whole thing, I personally wouldn't see a massive problem with it. You could always meet him with a couple of other friends if you want to test the waters first.
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    (Original post by Tasha89)
    We talked a bit, and yes there was chemistry.
    yes, I'm sure about that. I'm pretty careful about stuff like that.
    Well if there was chemistry then maybe that's what he picked up on and he sensed the potential there.

    (Original post by Tasha89)
    What was bold? Asking out straight away, or adding on facebook?
    I guess adding on facebook is already quite a big step but it was definitely the asking to go out (on a date) almost immediately that is pretty ballsy.

    (Original post by Tasha89)
    no, I'm not looking for 'a bit of fun'. I'd only go out if he's serious.
    But how would he get to know me better through facebook? I mean we don't see each other regularly or anything. Then how would he?!
    The safe option would be to see if you can have a chat on the phone, add him on some Instant Messenging program (if you have time for that kind of stuff). I don't think he should take it badly if you tell him that you're a bit busy and that you might want to do it some other time.

    (Original post by Tasha89)
    yes, I do have a strong personality and can say no easily. But I wouldn't go out with someone who isn't serious. I don't go out with/give my number to strangers I meet in clubs for the same reason, they're usually not serious.
    In fact, I considered going out on a date with him only because he was at the same school as me a few years ago.
    So, well, what do I do about it?!
    Only you can decide that! You have so many options, with varying risk. If you definitely are the "strong" girl that you are and usually don't get lost in the moment, when a guy goes in for the "kill" and are perfectly happy to tell a guy "no, I'm not happy kissing/****ing/whatever you", then you have nothing to lose. Just go for a drink, tell yourself that it's only a drink and that, to any question like "let's go somewhere quieter" "fancy coming back to mine" you'll just say "thanks but I really have to go". I've always been surprised by the number of girls who simply can't do that, and the number of guys who are incredibly good at convincing...

    I know a few guys who operate like sexual predators on the net and there is a chance that this guy might be like that, just because he doesn't waste any time and seems incredibly confident in his ability to seduce.

    Again, the safer option would be to get to know him over the phone, by chatting on IM or whatever... Maybe give it some time to see how serious he is (or wherever he just wants a quick one).

    On a separate note, I disagree with the idea that you can't meet someone who's "serious" in a club. It depends how you play the whole seduction/pulling game but if you're the kind of person who prefers to chat a bit, get to know the person, then there's really no reason why you can't meet a decent person that way. If you automatically follow the whole "sleazy approach on the dancefloor" followed by a snog after a couple of minutes, then it's true that most guys you meet that way won't be serious. I'm guilty of the sleazy approach in the past but I always prefer to talk (ok fair enough clubs can be really noisy and you have to move to a quieter area) and get to know the girl a bit before any "approach".
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    (Original post by abc101)
    You could always meet him with a couple of other friends if you want to test the waters first.
    Best piece of advice there. Wish I had thought of that. Most girls are always more comfortable meeting a guy when there are more people around. Try to see if you can see him at some gathering you have with some friends, next time you go to a bar or whatever.

    Then again, that's not always the best environment if the guy is a bit shy/withdrawn in company of a big group.
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    seems like the guys here think that it's bold to add someone on facebook , whereas the girls don't.
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    sticky, are you serious?
    adding someone on facebook, someone who used to be at school with you is "A BIG STEP"? huh?
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    I guess adding on facebook is already quite a big step but it was definitely the asking to go out (on a date) almost immediately that is pretty ballsy.
    I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks that way!
    Honestly, who would like just any guy adding you on facebook like that?
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    (Original post by angel156)
    seems like the guys here think that it's bold to add someone on facebook , whereas the girls don't.
    yeah, was thinking the same thing
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    (Original post by abc101)
    I don't get the problem here - he's fit, you like him, he's asked you out! It's all good!

    I don't think it's weird that he's added you - everyone adds everyone on Facebook, you get people you never even spoke to at school adding you, so that's not weird. Seeing as he met you out with friends rather than knowing you through school though, it suggests he likes you, which is all good if you like him too!

    If you're not sure about him as a person, ask your friend if he's a good chap. You don't have to launch into anything, just go out casually with him, like meet up for a drink or something. If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't go, but if you like him and feel safe about the whole thing, I personally wouldn't see a massive problem with it. You could always meet him with a couple of other friends if you want to test the waters first.
    I completely agree.

    (Original post by Tasha89)
    what's confusing?:confused:
    I'm confused by the fact that you (and many others, apparently) think this is 'bold' and a 'big step'. He wants to get to know you better. I get added by people who went to the same primary school as me, regardless of whether we ever actually spoke. All this = no big deal.
    Go out with him. See how it goes. OR spend your time debating whether he's a weirdo on TSR.
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    (Original post by *Katie*)
    I completely agree.


    I'm confused by the fact that you (and many others, apparently) think this is 'bold' and a 'big step'.
    the facebook thing and asking out right?
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    (Original post by welshleprechaun)
    this guy clearly likes you. And so what if you don't know him well. Half of first dates are between people who don't know each other well. If you can't see it going anywhere after a couple of dates then end it...otherwise, like mascara eyes said, you won't know what might have been.
    I think the problem is the way he went about it.
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    I don't think it's weird that he's added you - everyone adds everyone on Facebook,
    I guess adding on facebook is already quite a big step but it was definitely the asking to go out (on a date) almost immediately that is pretty ballsy.
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    this thread is confusing me!
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    I say go for it, what have you got to lose?
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    oh well I said no
    what if he had turned out to be a weirdo?
    anyway I wasn't sure
 
 
 
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