The Student Room Group

The week from hell

I've had a lot of issues this week. It started when my dad told me something that made me angry at how he responds to my problems. He's always been the most judgemental person to me. I've had issues with this since March (when he found out about my problems). But yesterday morning he told me something that made me even more mad at him. My friend said that it was because he was worried about me ending up in a similar situation to my great grandfather (his mum's dad). My thoughts are that if he was worried about me then he would be much less judgemental. My parents have triggered my breakdowns before and I don't think they are acting appropriately, especially considering my family history.

Then another thing that happened was that I was just having a conversation yesterday evening when I was effectively told to break off all contact with my friends before going back to uni (I recently dropped out and am planning to go to another uni at the end of September). The other person said that it was my friendships that were the problem, sort of in case I ended up in a relationship (but I am not and never have been interested in relationships and all that).

I'm just so angry at everything that's been going on recently, and none of it is helping me. I just needed to rant. Sorry.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
:hugs: I hope a hug will help, and if not at least make you smile :smile:
AverageGuyOnTheStreet
I've had a lot of issues this week. It started when my dad told me something that made me angry at how he responds to my problems. He's always been the most judgemental person to me. I've had issues with this since March (when he found out about my problems). But yesterday morning he told me something that made me even more mad at him. My friend said that it was because he was worried about me ending up in a similar situation to my great grandfather (his mum's dad). My thoughts are that if he was worried about me then he would be much less judgemental. My parents have triggered my breakdowns before and I don't think they are acting appropriately, especially considering my family history.

Then another thing that happened was that I was just having a conversation yesterday evening when I was effectively told to break off all contact with my friends before going back to uni (I recently dropped out and am planning to go to another uni at the end of September). The other person said that it was my friendships that were the problem, sort of in case I ended up in a relationship (but I am not and never have been interested in relationships and all that).

I'm just so angry at everything that's been going on recently, and none of it is helping me. I just needed to rant. Sorry.



I really like your user name. quite clever.

(don't worry about the week, we're half way through)
He's probably just getting hacked off with having a whiny emotionally punishing daughter who takes life and herself too seriously.
Reply 4
I'm sorry you've had such a bad week. I hope that the weekend isn't so bad. Try not to worry too much about what your dad thinks. Some people just can't cope with other people's emotional difficulties (even if that person is their daughter). He probably, deep down, finds it really upsetting to see you suffering like this. However much you want them to help, your parents can't take responsibility for your life. Can you talk to your mum about your problems? Depression is a horrible thing that can rob people of the life they want to live. Try to think positively and start thinking about what life is going to be like at university. Think of it as a new chapter in your life. You don't have to cut off your old friends but do make an effort to make new ones. That way, you'll always have someone to turn. Friends are so precious. If your current 'friends', however, are dragging you down with them and exacerbating your depression, I'd recommend trying to keep your distance and limiting the amount of time you spend with them.

You're obviously going to feel angry because it feels like nobody understands what you're going through. Your Dad is saying all the wrong things at all the wrong times! Try to cut him some slack. I'm sure your parents haven't intentionally tried to trigger your breakdowns. They just need to wise up a little and be a bit more sensitive.

Instead of dwelling on what your dad has or hasn't done, make an effort to take your mind off the way you're feeling. I've felt very down lately and I've found that the routine of a walk every night has made me feel a bit better about myself. Listen to some music, read a book (if you can concentrate) or go out somewhere you haven't been before.

After you've had some time to yourself, you could try talking to your parents again. If it doesn't work accept the fact that confiding in them wont make you feel better about yourself. You've always got the student room to turn to if you fancy a good old rant!

Seriously though, keep your chin up and try to think of the positives. You wont feel like this forever.

:hugs:

Laus xxx
Reply 5
How has your weekend been so far? Any better?
Today has been a bit better because I could get away and spend time with a friend.

I know that I wouldn't break off any of my friendships, even if I was paid £1,000,000. I am close to a lot of my friends and we are always there for each other.

My parents are just getting on with their lives right now, which I prefer as it gives me the space I need. I'm a little annoyed when my mum effectively refuses to acknowledge my existence. But I've thankfully not heard anything else that has made me angry at my parents judging me for my problems.

Though I was told yesterday in no uncertain terms "just forget about your great grandfather, your problems are nothing like his were". Considering that I knew nothing about what happened before he died I was quite angry at that comment.

Hypothetical question now: is it odd to want to have been there to help my great grandfather? I only heard the other day, but I can't stop thinking that I wish I was there for him when he needed someone.
AverageGuyOnTheStreet
Hypothetical question now: is it odd to want to have been there to help my great grandfather? I only heard the other day, but I can't stop thinking that I wish I was there for him when he needed someone.


Well this is all a bit 'Papa don't Preach' but wanting to be with someone now that they're gone is perfectly understandable. It's normal to regret not acting a certain way i.e. being there for your relative.

And your dad sounds like a massive arse hole.
Reply 8
It isn't an odd question. Like Pirate said, it's perfectly understandable. You can't beat yourself up about it though. You can't do anything to help him now but you can focus on trying to help other people. I don't know the full story so I can't really comment.

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better.
Guy Secretan
He's probably just getting hacked off with having a whiny emotionally punishing daughter who takes life and herself too seriously.



haha
Reply 10
Every post you make consists of you wallowing in your own self-pity. Yeah, things go wrong for all of us, we all **** up and ****ty stuff happens to everyone. Take it on the chin and deal with it.
Reply 11
I've got to say that im kind of agreeing with the above two comments.
I know that I don't know any details, its just my opinion. But sometimes thinking of the details too much makes the problems worse.
Reply 12
You obviously expect everyone to pussy foot around you because of your so called 'problems'
Although I'm sure by the nature of the rest of your psots its more to do with attention seeking and an unwillingness to deal with them, since they give you an excuse to act in that way.

Sorry but.. get over it. Im a good judge of character and some people like you are too transparent to be believed.
Guy Secretan
He's probably just getting hacked off with having a whiny emotionally punishing daughter who takes life and herself too seriously.

:dito:
Reply 14
Just remember no one on here will fully understand your problems and circumstances etc and how much they get you down. Something that would get someone down may not bother someone else for example.

However, from what you have said, it does sound a tad extreme to call this 'the week from hell'.
Reply 15
I think we all need to back down a little. Obviously AGOTS is feeling low and we aren't going to make her feel any better by putting her down. It doesn't hurt to have a rant from time to time. We should all try and be supportive … however 'minor' we think a persons problems are.

People who suffer from clinical depression (I don't know if AGOTS does) can feel pretty hopeless at times and criticism/misunderstanding/judging etc. doesn't help. :pms: ?

I'm not trying to start an argument.

I just think we (myself included) need to be a bit more understanding. Let's hope we all have a great week:dancing2: ! Damn results day!!!
I am going to agree with Laus. I am not an emo, just having a really bad week. And actually I haven't mentioned most of what happened, only the couple of things that really got to me. I came to TSR because I feel that in the most number of cases you are a lot more supportive than my parents and I hate being a burden to my friends. If you can't say anything constructive, please don't reply. You don't find me giving unconstructive replies to any of your threads (well, the worst I would say is that there's more to life than sex or something like that). And the H&R subforum is here so that people can rant about their problems. I'm not exactly going to start a thread here saying "omg I'm so happy :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:!!!!!111one" am I?

I know that compared to other people my problems are trivial, but that doesn't mean that I am able to cope. Everyone has different breaking points and nobody should judge anyone for not being able to cope with as much as you.
(Mods, please leave this anon as it's very personal.)

True Laus, but there is such a thing as complaining about our problems too much. My dad was emotionally and physically abusive for most of my life, as was my mum. I cut myself, became an alcoholic and attempted suicide numerous times, all while immensely clinically depressed and almost getting committed on one occasion (as in, was in hospital post-suicide attempt and the psychiatrist was very close to doing that). On this thread, rather than be sympathetic, I'm honestly disgusted that someone's dad being a bit mean to them (and, from the sound of it, because he's worried) can be described as the week from hell. If that's the worst thing that's happened to you, you're lucky.
OK, if you must know, I am on the edge of a mental breakdown and I'm terrified. I always understate what is the problem and last time anyone asked how I was I said I was getting better even though that was a lie. Anon, I feel for you and want you to get better but I've just had a huge rant about my coping mechanisms (or, more to the point, lack of) on this thread.
Reply 19
Guys, this isn't a competition.

Anon - I feel for you and I'm SO sorry that you've experienced such heartache and have had such a traumatising life. I wish I could take all of that pain away. Sadly, I can't. All we can do on this forum is support one another. We can't rummage through the entire site to make sure that we aren't offending someone. AGOTS was just trying to express herself. As are you. I don't think she wanted to offend you, or anyone else for that matter.

Obviously you are hurt. I can understand where you are coming from. However, what's 'trivial' to one person may well be life-ruining for another. I'm not for one second suggesting that having a 'week from hell' is any where near as painful as what you've been through over the course of your life.

AGOTS - if you're on the verge of a mental breakdown you need talk to someone. We can listen to you by all means but you do need to seek help elsewhere. Are you receiving any counselling? Are you taking antidepressants?

Anon - again, I'm terribly sorry. I hope you will carry on receiving the help and support you desperately need.

Laus