Grade this please

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    Can you grade this between a F- A* as best as you can? Because I'm handing this in soon and wanted to know what changes i should make, the topic was to describe any type of food, in great detail..


    In love, I gazed at the blinding white dish before me, simplistic in design, stowing away an enigmatic surprise underneath all the layers of heaven. The bowl was hiding something that was evil, it was something that would tempt me, the alluring indulgence was worth each and every calorie it hid. Averting my eyes toward the base of the bowl a torrid, tender brownie encased with macadamia nuts. I had already found out that the nuts were rich and soft in texture, similar to white chocolate. Pressuring the brownie were two luscious scoops of ice cream, sitting side by side melting into one another, each a different flavour. On the right was a velvety strawberry, freckled with chunks of juicy berries.Then to the left was a lush, milky vanilla, sprinkled with dark, smooth specks of vanilla bean. The scoops were pooling into tiny rivers that would flow down either side of the brownie, staining the once apoptotic surface, with raidient colours of the creams. The scoops were cloaked with a sumptuous, sweet hot fudge sauce. Now draped over the liquid was a perfectly sphere shaped dollop of whipped cream. It changed the atmosphere of the dessert below from a sophisticated masterpiece to an adorable centerpiece. Pure cream was topped with a shower of milky chocolate flakes, some elegantly fell into the pool of ice cream and sauce mixed below. A perfectly sphered maraschino cherry was placed in the whipped cream creating a tiny dent in the picturesque pudding, it completed the creation; it's scarlet juices sending mini streams downs the entire mountain of paradise. Everything about it appealed to me; the colours, textures, looks and aroma were enough to intoxicate every single one of my senses. I couldn't believe such a person made this.
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    incredible food porn
    A*
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    A* sounds brill
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    (Original post by KnowledgeIsBest)
    incredible food porn
    A*
    Haha cheers
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    (Original post by Misunderstood_08)
    A* sounds brill
    Thanks means alot x
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    It sounds like you just pulled random words from a thesaurus :lol: I think some punctuation is questionable but it's a good piece of writing overall.

    Not sure of the use of apoptotic either.

    It's a B for me.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    It sounds like you just pulled random words from a thesaurus :lol: I think some punctuation is questionable but it's a good piece of writing overall.

    Not sure of the use of apoptotic either.

    It's a B for me.
    Thanks I mean a B is good enough, but I do know what the majority of those words mean. And punctuation has always been a problem so cheers
 
 
 
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