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    I'm in my first year at university, and I'm already only three days in but I already feel like I'm failing socially. I ended up missing freshers induction, and the three freshers events we've had so far I've ended up missing or staying for around an hour before giving up and leaving. This evening I just cried out of nerves and despair. My flatmates already seem to have all become really good friends, whilst I can barely string together a sentence. I suddenly become really quiet, and have resorted to hiding in my room until they are all gone. I hate doing this, but it's difficult when every part of you is saying 'Stay in your room, going is a really bad idea' and 'They don't want you there' and 'You don't deserve to be there'.

    Any advice?
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    (Original post by mischief managed)
    I'm in my first year at university, and I'm already only three days in but I already feel like I'm failing socially. I ended up missing freshers induction, and the three freshers events we've had so far I've ended up missing or staying for around an hour before giving up and leaving. This evening I just cried out of nerves and despair. My flatmates already seem to have all become really good friends, whilst I can barely string together a sentence. I suddenly become really quiet, and have resorted to hiding in my room until they are all gone. I hate doing this, but it's difficult when every part of you is saying 'Stay in your room, going is a really bad idea' and 'They don't want you there' and 'You don't deserve to be there'.

    Any advice?
    Hello ,

    I've just answered a similar thread about anxiety at university and I'd like to repeat what I said there. At university there is a lot of students that suffer from anxiety on varying degrees of the spectrum and some people even develop anxiety at university - I did in the end of my Second Year.

    I understand that it's difficult to socialise but the one place you are hindering yourself is by comparing yourself to other people and their ability to make friends - it doesn't matter what other people are doing so don't let it consume you. It doesn't matter if you aren't attending all the Freshers events or aren't staying till the end and it doesn't matter that you have missed Freshers induction, you have a whole year ahead of you so focus on that! You will meet people on your course that share similar interests to you and you could join societies where people share similar interests with you and if you are still struggling, reach out to the support available to you at university and they can help you!

    Take small steps, slowly but surely, and start speaking to people in your accommodation. Ask if they wanna grab a drink, or study or explore the city etc. Just small steps.

    Good luck!
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    It's good that you feel so strongly about socialising and that you want to enjoy it while at uni. It will be important to show that you can "hit it off with others" once you graduate and start looking for work. Otherwise you'll find yourself failing more interviews than you succeed.
 
 
 
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