Hi so I got to uni today.
My flat mates are all international and have gone out together without inviting me. There's a freshers event and I have a ticket but it seems really sad to go by myself. I'm really worried I won't make any friends. I can hear other people having fun and laughing but I'm in my room all alone. Also I feel really sad knowing that my parents are just 15 minutes away in a hotel. I'm really close to them.
What have I done wrong? I've kept my door open with a doorstop all day but no one has bothered to speak to me. Should I just accept that tonight I'm by myself and hope I can find someone tomorrow? I really don't know what to do with myself. I feel like crying and I'm really home sick. Is it normal not to have made any friends on the first day? How can I change my situation tomorrow?
All my friends from school that have gone to uni seemed to have made friends and gone out on the first day.
Sorry for rambling. I'm feeling really low right now.
It's very normal tbh, a lot of people I spoke to last year didn't make friends with their flatmates. Most of your freshers friends will vanish after freshers. You'll make friends with coursemates and they'll become the people you hang with most. I ended up becoming really good friends with my coursemates flatmates in my first year.
It's still extremely horrible for them to treat you like that and go out without you tho
My older sister was in the same situation but she ended up making friends in the most strangest situations so hopefully you will make friends. You should definitely go because they are going to make friends. If you don't want to, talk to your former friends and hopefully they will make you feel better. You could join societies as that is the best way to make friends.
You think it's sad to go by yourself but you're worried you won't make friends? How do you propose you'll make friends if you don't go places? You've moved to university and won't know anyone. Unless you go do some stuff by yourself you won't meet anyone. Yes it sucks that your flatmates went out without you but equally they have no obligation to include you.
You say you left your door open with a doorstop but nobody came to speak to you. Did you go out and see if anyone did the same? Did you just wait all day for people to come to you? How much effort did you put in?
I was super lonely on my first day, was the first to move into my flat and was pretty much the only person on my floor. Didn't really care, I could've gone and sat in a pub or whatever but that really doesn't interest me. A flatmate moved in on the second day and I'd previously been chatting with course mates before they moved in. Met a few over the week as people moved in. But it only happened because I put together a chat group and added people.
If you want to meet people you have to put in the effort. Don't just expect them to come to you. Go out and meet lots of people, even if you're by yourself. See if you can get in contact with an course mates and arrange to meet them before you start lessons. Look for clubs or societies that you can join and meet people that way.
Yes the first night is tough. It gets easier. But nothing happens if you don't try. It's also totally fine to be by yourself. Don't cave into seeing your parents though as that'll no doubt make it worse.
And if all else fails the wonderful people of TSR are also here.
got to buck up, go out, and enjoy the night, you just have to start talking to people,
It's totally normal to feel homesick and lonely on your first day.
You're away from home for the first time, you know nobody, and don't know where to go or who you can go with. You're not sure what is going to happen tomorrow and you are far from the things and people that normally help you cope....so of course you will feel like $%^.!
But it will get better.
First, don't beat yourself up - you are just reacting like a normal person in a very stressful situation. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a best friend who was feeling this way.
Second, set yourself a few simple and achievable goals to start building connections with new people. Don't stress if it doesn't all happen at once. Just plug away, a bit at a time. It's going to be fine.