I'm a new first year student at the University of Exeter studying Mathematics, but I've found myself flagging hugely. I've come from a very intense and unstable situation; I was removed from the family home when I was 18, and spent the years running up to uni dealing with being moved from place to place, and even having to stay in a psychiatric unit when I became homeless. There was abusive behaviour by staff at these supported living units, and my parents could've let me back home but chose not to. In fact, my parents have been extremely abusive to me in their own way.
Obviously, I had my own issues too; the past few months were so bad that I turned to drugs to cope. I had many overdoses, some of which were nearly fatal, and I took valium just to get through the days. I had to stop before uni but that did bring with it some uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms which aggravated the situation. I have made the university aware of my background, and credit to them since they've been extremely supportive. I was expecting to be kicked out on the spot but they just wanted to help.
Unfortunately, I don't really feel in a position to do this. I have no headspace for this course, I find it totally uninteresting to be honest, and my thoughts are elsewhere. I have tried to move to PPE, which is more my thing I think, but admissions have yet to get back to me. I feel physically and mentally unwell since I find it hard enough to get out of bed most days let alone face the challenges of uni. I worked so hard to get here but now I'm spent. I have no idea what I'm going to do; if I drop out, I'll have to go home to the town where all that horrendous stuff went on. If I stay, I'll have to push through these circumstances which feel intolerable.
I know this is a complicated situation, but can anyone offer any advice? What do you think I should do?
Should I still go?