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It's****ingWOODY
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#581
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#581
(Original post by Rhaenys10)
So this is like, the best story you've got? :rofl:
Probably :lol: Got quite a few though. Few examples are when I had a girl riding on top of me and then all of a sudden she jumped off and puked all down the side of the bed - she'd been drinking red Jacques cider and OMFG the smell!... there was also the time I'd been seeing an FWB for a while, we got really experimental and I was hitting the #2 spot, all of a sudden I heard this squelch and all this brownish liquid came running down my thighs - turned out, she'd used a douche but overdid it and some of the water stayed in there... and there was the time I pulled, went to the Johnny machine before leaving but it was empty... so we got the cab to stop at an overnight Tesco garage on the way home and all they had was Tesco Featherlite, so I went witht those - I dunno what's up with those things, but I got an actual friction burn on my bell-end :rofl:
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#582
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#582
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
Probably :lol: Got quite a few though. Few examples are when I had a girl riding on top of me and then all of a sudden she jumped off and puked all down the side of the bed - she'd been drinking red Jacques cider and OMFG the smell!... there was also the time I'd been seeing an FWB for a while, we got really experimental and I was hitting the #2 spot, all of a sudden I heard this squelch and all this brownish liquid came running down my thighs - turned out, she'd used a douche but overdid it and some of the water stayed in there... and there was the time I pulled, went to the Johnny machine before leaving but it was empty... so we got the cab to stop at an overnight Tesco garage on the way home and all they had was Tesco Featherlite, so I went witht those - I dunno what's up with those things, but I got an actual friction burn on my bell-end :rofl:
YO...
:yucky:
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Rhaenys10
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#583
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#583
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
Probably :lol: Got quite a few though. Few examples are when I had a girl riding on top of me and then all of a sudden she jumped off and puked all down the side of the bed - she'd been drinking red Jacques cider and OMFG the smell!... there was also the time I'd been seeing an FWB for a while, we got really experimental and I was hitting the #2 spot, all of a sudden I heard this squelch and all this brownish liquid came running down my thighs - turned out, she'd used a douche but overdid it and some of the water stayed in there... and there was the time I pulled, went to the Johnny machine before leaving but it was empty... so we got the cab to stop at an overnight Tesco garage on the way home and all they had was Tesco Featherlite, so I went witht those - I dunno what's up with those things, but I got an actual friction burn on my bell-end :rofl:
How did you react to all this ****? :rofl:
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It's****ingWOODY
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#584
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#584
(Original post by Rhaenys10)
How did you react to all this ****? :rofl:
I'm pretty good at not gagging when disgusting things are happening, with the puke I just followed her to the toilet after she'd already puked down the side of the bed and held her hair back for her, cause I'm nice like that but with the anal leakage OMG I gagged so hard :lol: Was glad to find out in the end that it was probably only about 10% s*** rather than pure diarrhea :rofl: With the condom/****-burn, I just sulked like for a week because I couldn't even masturbate
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Rhaenys10
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#585
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#585
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
I'm pretty good at not gagging when disgusting things are happening, with the puke I just followed her to the toilet after she'd already puked down the side of the bed and held her hair back for her, cause I'm nice like that but with the anal leakage OMG I gagged so hard :lol: Was glad to find out in the end that it was probably only about 10% s*** rather than pure diarrhea :rofl: With the condom/****-burn, I just sulked like for a week because I couldn't even masturbate
prsom

If I ever have the occasion to do this, I'm totally turning you into a character in one of my (yet unwritten but long planned) books :rofl:

So be careful 'cause I may be asking you for details in the future :rofl:
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rosemondtan
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#586
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#586
I recognise so many names on here haha
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It's****ingWOODY
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#587
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#587
(Original post by Rhaenys10)
prsom

If I ever have the occasion to do this, I'm totally turning you into a character in one of my (yet unwritten but long planned) books :rofl:

So be careful 'cause I may be asking you for details in the future :rofl:
Forgot to add, after the girl had finished puking and used some mouthwash - we carried on :rofl: I went nowhere near her mouth, obviously.

Shucks, I'm honoured May I suggest "Woody the Penetrator" :rofl::rofl::rofl:
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#588
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#588
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
I'm pretty good at not gagging when disgusting things are happening, with the puke I just followed her to the toilet after she'd already puked down the side of the bed and held her hair back for her, cause I'm nice like that but with the anal leakage OMG I gagged so hard :lol: Was glad to find out in the end that it was probably only about 10% s*** rather than pure diarrhea :rofl: With the condom/****-burn, I just sulked like for a week because I couldn't even masturbate
The memory of that must be haunting,
that s*** would ruin my life.
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It's****ingWOODY
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#589
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#589
(Original post by XOR_)
The memory of that must be haunting,
that s*** would ruin my life.
The puking is just one of those things, though I've done anal a bunch more times since that happened and I still get nervous even though it was like 5 years ago :rofl: Also, Tesco condoms are a no-go, not like I'd actually pick them when there are better options haha, but I'd rather just not do it than use those again.
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Rhaenys10
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#590
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#590
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
Forgot to add, after the girl had finished puking and used some mouthwash - we carried on :rofl: I went nowhere near her mouth, obviously.

Shucks, I'm honoured May I suggest "Woody the Penetrator" :rofl::rofl::rofl:
Made the right choice..in both cases :rofl:

Was thinking of giving you a name like Alfie, Eugene or Arnold :rofl:
And could you please tell me how the **** I could ever introduce "Woody the Penetrator"? :rofl:
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rintox999
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#591
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#591
It
(Original post by rosemondtan)
I recognise so many names on here haha
It's the first time I see you on TSR.
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It's****ingWOODY
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#592
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#592
(Original post by Rhaenys10)
Made the right choice..in both cases :rofl:

Was thinking of giving you a name like Alfie, Eugene or Arnold :rofl:
And could you please tell me how the **** I could ever introduce "Woody the Penetrator"? :rofl:
I was nervous for the remainder and chose not to stay the night :rofl:

I dunno, you're the writer
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rintox999
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#593
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#593
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
I was nervous for the remainder and chose not to stay the night :rofl:

I dunno, you're the writer
Tell us about your first time Woody.

At what age and how was it?.
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Rhaenys10
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#594
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#594
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
I was nervous for the remainder and chose not to stay the night :rofl:

I dunno, you're the writer
How did she react though? The anal girl though.. I would've honestly started crying :rofl:

It's been decided, you're going to start out as a nerd. :rofl:
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It's****ingWOODY
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#595
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#595
(Original post by rintox999)
Tell us about your first time Woody.

At what age and how was it?.
16, typical age lol. It wasn't too bad as far as first times go, only lasted maybe a couple minutes though the very first time :rofl: It was a girl I'd become friendly with at college, half-Russian girl. We were both virgins and as we got closer we started talking about masturbating and porn and stuff and eventually agreed we should lose it with each other. It was obviously terrible but it wasn't really awkward. We carried on seeing each other for a while and did it a few more times, then sort of agreed we didn't wanna let it ruin the friendship so stopped doing it and remained friends, at which point I'd gained some confidence and started getting around with other girls.
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It's****ingWOODY
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#596
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#596
(Original post by Rhaenys10)
How did she react though? The anal girl though.. I would've honestly started crying :rofl:

It's been decided, you're going to start out as a nerd. :rofl:
She was just like "OMG OMG OMG OMG, I'm SO sorry" and started explaining the douching stuff, after which I just laughed and reassured her it was fine and these things happen. We took a shower together and finished off our business in there, butt secks in the shower an' that which was a good place to have it really, if she did leak again then it'd have been instantly washed off and I probably wouldn't have noticed :rofl:

Good choice, as you know I've always been a bit of a nerd at heart :lol:
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Rhaenys10
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#597
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#597
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
She was just like "OMG OMG OMG OMG, I'm SO sorry" and started explaining the douching stuff, after which I just laughed and reassured her it was fine and these things happen. We took a shower together and finished off our business in there, butt secks in the shower an' that which was a good place to have it really, if she did leak again then it'd have been instantly washed off and I probably wouldn't have noticed :rofl:

Good choice, as you know I've always been a bit of a nerd at heart :lol:
You think on your feet, that's cool :rofl:

If I ever write a bestseller, I'll give you a signed copy
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It's****ingWOODY
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#598
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#598
(Original post by Rhaenys10)
You think on your feet, that's cool :rofl:

If I ever write a bestseller, I'll give you a signed copy
NGL the whole "Oh, if we do it in the shower then any more muck will just get washed off" idea wasn't in my head at the time, I was just horny and wanted to finish off :rofl: I guess in my defense, my brain was lacking oxygen because the blood was elsewhere :rofl:

Yay Maybe people will want to interview me as the man the character was based upon
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Rhaenys10
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#599
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#599
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
NGL the whole "Oh, if we do it in the shower then any more muck will just get washed off" idea wasn't in my head at the time, I was just horny and wanted to finish off :rofl: I guess in my defense, my brain was lacking oxygen because the blood was elsewhere :rofl:

Yay Maybe people will want to interview me as the man the character was based upon
It worked, who the **** cares how you thought about it :rofl:

And what would they interview you about? Your muslim girl story? :rofl:

By the way, rtingox or whatever is a racist troll. He makes a new account every day, and they all end it -ox :toofunny:
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username2246259
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#600
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#600
(Original post by WoodyMKC)
Probably :lol: Got quite a few though. Few examples are when I had a girl riding on top of me and then all of a sudden she jumped off and puked all down the side of the bed - she'd been drinking red Jacques cider and OMFG the smell!... there was also the time I'd been seeing an FWB for a while, we got really experimental and I was hitting the #2 spot, all of a sudden I heard this squelch and all this brownish liquid came running down my thighs - turned out, she'd used a douche but overdid it and some of the water stayed in there... and there was the time I pulled, went to the Johnny machine before leaving but it was empty... so we got the cab to stop at an overnight Tesco garage on the way home and all they had was Tesco Featherlite, so I went witht those - I dunno what's up with those things, but I got an actual friction burn on my bell-end :rofl:
dude what the ****
condoms are ****, learn how to pull out
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