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Does this sound like I've ruined the friendship? Watch

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    Me and my best friend have got on amazingly most of the time but have had our arguments here and there but have always got through it. We are both uni students so we live together. I have some issues controlling my tweet which she knows about. Anyway we were just having a debate earlier then she seems to be taking it too seriously and just walked away but I was annoyed that she left so I followed her and tried to find out why she was annoyed. This ended up with me standing in front of her door trying o get her to tell me what was wrong but I lost my temper. This lead to her walking away and staying out for hours and coming back to get her things and staying elsewhere for the night and said she won't be talking to me tonight. She told a mutual friend that I scared her. She won't respond to any of my texts. I messaged her sincerely apologising for my behaviour. Does this sound like I've ruined our friendship?
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    Give her some space and wait until tomorrow or Tuesday for her to contact her and see how she is. If you keep pestering her when she's angry, you'll only make things worse. If you are truly best friends, she'll come back to you.
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    Needs time to cool off.
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    During an argument there's always two types of people. Those who prefer to remove themselves from the situation, and those who'd prefer to get it all out and sort it there and then.

    I'm the latter and know how you feel, I get frustrated when people walk away during an argument and I understand the temptation to follow them, I've done it myself in the past! But that's just their way of coping, and following them as you know, does more damage than good.

    So you just have to go against your instinct, and leave her be. Don't text her, don't bother her in anyway, let her come to you. If she doesn't she doesn't, but honestly texting and begging will only worsen the situation.

    Leave her be, forget about it for now.
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    I seen her on campus today but she barely spoke. She made her excuses quickly and wouldn't talk to me. I asked if we could talk later today when we're both free and she said she doesn't know. She is the best friend I've ever had abd I don't want to lose her but does it seem like the friendship is over?
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    I forgot to mention when she came back to get some of her things she had campus security with her and I have to meet the head of my uni tomorrow because he recieved a security report.
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    It does sound like your actions have had a large impact on how she feels. I would recommend not actively pursuing it. You have made it clear numerous times you want a discussion about it. It is now up to her whether she feels comfortable or wants to pursue it. The more you pester her by texting her or approaching her on campus the more uncomfortable she is going to feel. This could lead to pretty bad consequences for you.

    If she doesn't decide to come back to you, to have that discussion, then you'll have to cut your losses. The fact she got campus security involved means you made her feel extremely unsafe and threatened. If you aggravate that, then she can launch a case against you. The best thing you can do would be to focus on your grades, if you see her around campus, feel free to give her a polite smile, but do not approach her. Let her approach you.

    Personally, as someone with mental health issues. I would feel extremely at danger and threatened if someone were to pursue me for conflict (whether or not you intended to do harm). I would be terrified incase you lost your cool and became physical. This could all be thoughts going through her head. She may be weighing up options, campus staff may have told her not to talk with you, whatever the reason -- let her come to you. Pursuing her and repeatedly attempting to rekindle a friendship will cause more harm than good.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It does sound like your actions have had a large impact on how she feels. I would recommend not actively pursuing it. You have made it clear numerous times you want a discussion about it. It is now up to her whether she feels comfortable or wants to pursue it. The more you pester her by texting her or approaching her on campus the more uncomfortable she is going to feel. This could lead to pretty bad consequences for you.

    If she doesn't decide to come back to you, to have that discussion, then you'll have to cut your losses. The fact she got campus security involved means you made her feel extremely unsafe and threatened. If you aggravate that, then she can launch a case against you. The best thing you can do would be to focus on your grades, if you see her around campus, feel free to give her a polite smile, but do not approach her. Let her approach you.

    Personally, as someone with mental health issues. I would feel extremely at danger and threatened if someone were to pursue me for conflict (whether or not you intended to do harm). I would be terrified incase you lost your cool and became physical. This could all be thoughts going through her head. She may be weighing up options, campus staff may have told her not to talk with you, whatever the reason -- let her come to you. Pursuing her and repeatedly attempting to rekindle a friendship will cause more harm than good.
    I get that but I really can't lose the friendship it means too much to me. She's the best friend I've ever had and I really can't lose her from my life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I get that but I really can't lose the friendship it means too much to me. She's the best friend I've ever had and I really can't lose her from my life.
    To be honest what you did was very threatening, you followed and persecuted her I'm not surprised she said she was scared by you. You have to leave the situation now (like you should've done to begin with) and when she's ready, she will approach you but if she's doesn't you have to leave it and accept the fact.
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    (Original post by liquidconfidence)
    To be honest what you did was very threatening, you followed and persecuted her I'm not surprised she said she was scared by you. You have to leave the situation now (like you should've done to begin with) and when she's ready, she will approach you but if she's doesn't you have to leave it and accept the fact.
    I know I shouldn't have done it. I struggle with controlling my temper which she knows. It was like I could see what I was doing to her but I couldn't stop it. I scared myself
    • #1
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    We had a deep chat today and she basically told me saying sorry doesn't really mean anything and I have to prove it with actions. She has agreed to give me a chance but has said things can't be the same as they were before so I agreed to give her more space and we are going to try to rebuild the friendship which I don't even think she wanted to do at first. There is a reason for my behaviour, over a period of years everything's built up on me and came out over the last few days which I think has resulted in me having a mental breakdown which I am going to try my hardest to not let ruin everything I've worked hard for
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    Just a quick update. Things have started improving greatly, we are talking now and we hang out a lot of the time so things are definitely looking up. I am getting the help I need for my problems and I'm hopeful that things will keep on improving. But one thing I wanted to ask is that today she text me this morning but every message I've sent to her after that I haven't gotten a response. She has been on Facebook but hasn't read the messages I've sent so it seems like she could be ignoring me but I don't know why she would. Does this sound like I'm worrying over nothing or does it sound like she is ignoring me? If you think she's ignoring me then why do you think she would?
 
 
 
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