is she being out of order?

Anon because she sometimes comes on here. Sorry for the long post but I just wanted some advice from anyone who'd been in a similar situation.

I got back on wednesday from spending a few days at my uni house with my boyfriend and some friends. One of our friends was staying with us. She is more my boyfriend's friend as they are in all the same societies together at uni, in a rock band together and also do the same subject modules as well as going to the same student church events every saturday evening but I still get on with her to an extent because we email each other and chat when he's not there etc.

She has a boyfriend of 2 years who she says she loves and i'm pretty sure she does but the whole of the last few days I just felt she was a little too flirty with mine although she may or may not have been aware of this.

I know she thinks my boyfriend is fantastic because she is near-constantly singing his praises and listing his virtues!! This I feel is a compliment as I am obviously proud of my boyfriend but it got to the point where I was just thinking "I get your point already! I know you think he is amazing but stop going on about it!" lol. I've never heard her say a word against him which is good but it feels like she idolises him a bit and thinks he can do no wrong so whenever me and him have an argument it will always be seen seen as my fault. She kept saying stuff like "oh I just love si soooo much!" and even things like "Si is like my boyfriend when I'm at uni" (her boyf goes to uni in another city). She comments that he is her closest and best friend there which is fair enough but I feel left out as she always mentions how alike they are. I know that they obviously see each other as blessings in each others lives so I can accept that they'll share certain things exclusively.I try not to let this upset me too much but I feel a bit on the outside sometimes. When we had meals at our house I'd sit in silence for up to an hour at a time because she'd just be talking to him and asking just him loads and loads of questions etc. I think my boyfriend realised I was a bit quiet and fed up but he assumed it was because I had a headache lol.

She often tells him that she loves him because he's the 'funniest person she knows' etc. I've heard also that she's started conversations or made 'jokes' about whether they should go out with each other or if she'd kiss him (thankfully the answer to the latter was no but I still kinda feel it was a bit inappropiate to bring this up). Sometimes when he's not around she'll ask if I have a boyfriend she can 'borrow'. I know she is not serious about these things but I can't help feeling that she's doing it to annoy me. She also makes fun of my boyfriend and I when we hold hands or say sweet things to each other etc and I find it a little off putting and intrusive although I can see the funny side in a way.

I don't know how to tell her that I think she's giving my boyfriend a bit too much attention. My boyf is fantastic as he doesn't give her anything to go on (as far as I am aware) and ignores her comments etc but she still makes them!

I wondered if she was unhappy about us being together but at the start she was all for it and was always giving my boyf advice about things. I did hear from one of my friends that she had commented that she never go to see my boyfriend anymore as he was always over mine but when I mentioned this to my boyfriend he seemed annoyed because he said she'd never suggested meeting up or saying she wanted to see him in the evenings. Also she actually sees him at uni more than me anyway as they do everything together! In a couple of days she is going to a gig with him as they live 1/2 hour from each other so she's going out with his family for dinner beforehand. The other day she told me about it and made a point that she'd get to see him and meet his family before I do and I was a bit confused about why she brought it up! Possibly trying to make me jealous or something but I kinda brushed it aside.

I like this girl and I'm sure, or I hope at least, that she's not after him and I know that it's me my boyfriend loves so I'm not worried about that but I feel some of the things she says are 'too much'. I try and make sure she gets enough time alone with my boyfriend so she can't say that they 'never talk' but don't know what else to do! In a way I get made to feel like I don't deserve by boyfriend because I don't <i>openly<i> praise him as much as she does but my boyfriend says he doesn't want me to do this anyway.

Any advice?

Reply 1

crafty bison

You want advice? Here: This much detail isn't exactly going to maintain your anonymity.

Reply 2

Ang|ophi|e

How does your boyfriend react to these so called compliments? You should talk to him about it. More likely he will say that he is not interested in her. Then it's up to you to trust him that nothing will happen between them. As for the girl, if you knew her really well I'd suggest you talk to her about it. But since you're not the closest of friends with her maybe you can jokingly suggest if she's trying to get your boyfriend. See her reactions.