Girl likes me but is afraid of hurting me

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    There is this girl that I've liked for ages now and she's admitted that she likes me too but would never agree to go out with me but would always shy away from giving me a reason. I spoke to her the other night and she says "I would like to go out with you but I'm just scared I'd end up hurting you", I know this sounds like I've been added to the friendzone but I'd like other people's opinions on what she said.

    What does everyone else think?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There is this girl that I've liked for ages now and she's admitted that she likes me too but would never agree to go out with me but would always shy away from giving me a reason. I spoke to her the other night and she says "I would like to go out with you but I'm just scared I'd end up hurting you", I know this sounds like I've been added to the friendzone but I'd like other people's opinions on what she said.

    What does everyone else think?
    Maybe she thinks you are fragile or clingy? :iiam: difficult to say but that's what comes to mind.

    Doesn't sound like there's no hope but you just have to figure out what it means and then somehow show them that whatever it is is not the case, though you can't cross the line by asking too many times
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    She doesn't like you as a man. Just a lap dog. Hence the convinant excuse. Why should she give you anything in return when you already give her attention, comfort and friendship (and who knows, maybe gifts) and she can get her sexual needs fulfilled by someone she actually wants to shag?

    For her, it makes perfect sense.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Bootz)
    she can get her sexual needs fulfilled by someone she actually wants to shag?

    For her, it makes perfect sense.
    You say that but she's told me and her close girl friends that she's sick of guys saying to her stuff like "I'll come and keep you company" meaning sex. She actually wants to be taken out on dates.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There is this girl that I've liked for ages now and she's admitted that she likes me too but would never agree to go out with me but would always shy away from giving me a reason. I spoke to her the other night and she says "I would like to go out with you but I'm just scared I'd end up hurting you", I know this sounds like I've been added to the friendzone but I'd like other people's opinions on what she said.

    What does everyone else think?
    Maybe she has low-self esteem and thinks that she can only bring bad things to people. I used to be that girl, and would start relationships, only to break them off as soon as I felt like it was getting serious :/ Talk to her about it, and try to reassure her that you do really like her, and that you are strong enough to manage her and stuff
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There is this girl that I've liked for ages now and she's admitted that she likes me too but would never agree to go out with me but would always shy away from giving me a reason. I spoke to her the other night and she says "I would like to go out with you but I'm just scared I'd end up hurting you", I know this sounds like I've been added to the friendzone but I'd like other people's opinions on what she said.

    What does everyone else think?
    I think she does love you, but she's worried she's going to damage the relationship if you guys go out. Just my thoughts. Might not be like that at all. Hope this helps.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mvine001)
    I think she does love you, but she's worried she's going to damage the relationship if you guys go out. Just my thoughts. Might not be like that at all. Hope this helps.
    Maybe she does like me, I just don't know how I can say to her that she won't know unless we do go out.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe she does like me, I just don't know how I can say to her that she won't know unless we do go out.

    Teh ask her out. Show her that you are tougher than she thinks.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mvine001)
    Teh ask her out. Show her that you are tougher than she thinks.
    I have asked her out before and she said no, now I know why she did because she's afraid she'll hurt me.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have asked her out before and she said no, now I know why she did because she's afraid she'll hurt me.
    Do you think she'll hurt you? If not, then say that to her!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Well if she already knows that she will hurt you, than she doesn't even trust herself, why would you trust someone who doesn't even trust themselves. I'm sorry but if I were you, I would not try try to go out with her...
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    yeah girls often complain about the guys they like. don't fall into the trap of forever waiting for your chances. If a girl is complaining about a guy a lot that usually means she is thinking about the guy a lot which means that is who she is attracted to and where her attention is. There are obvious exceptions such as stalkers and creepy guys who are on the girls mind for the wrong reasons. However normally if a girl always complains about a certain guy you will usually find she likes that guy.

    If a girl wants to be with you they won't let you get away they will take chances risks and opportunities. "I do like you but.." can literally be translated to "I'm not really into you but I want to keep you around as an option" basically dude your back up. you are the reserve list.

    Now let me explain there is no place worse to be then the reserve list. If she believes you will always be available why should she ever focus on you the next guy might not be always available she should take a shot at that guy after all you will always be there. The thing is though this applies to every guy that comes along. so you literally become the last guy she would ever date.

    Listen if you like the idea of been a girls pet lap dog and like been submissive or deluding yourself that something may happen or that their is something there fair enough enjoy yourself. However if you have genuine feelings for this girl and are pining for them I suggest you forget about her and move on rather then let yourself be emotionally tortured convincing yourself later down the line that if it doesnt work out with guy number 52 you might be in with a chance.

    Ive made this mistake before and a lot of people wanted to tell me how it was but i convinced myself this was different, I learned it wasn't, You will probably convince yourself I don't know what I am talking about and it is different for you. So I don't really point this out for you today. I point this out so that maybe in a few years when you finally realize she was never into you, you will remember what I said and not make the same mistake again.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_SI2EDM6Lo
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: October 4, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
What is your favourite day of the week

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.