I feel as if my life is spiraling out of control. I'm an idiot and I feel I'm wasting my teachers' time as I did badly in my AS. I used to be smart, I was top of all my classes in KS3 and got some of the top GCSE results in my school. But I feel as if I'm regressing. I suffer from anxiety which is going untreated as I havent been able to get a gp appointment in over a year. I feel as if I might have other underlying problems as I also have imense chest pains which cause me to faint from pain occassionally. I feel as if with my predicted grades wont get me a place at any good uni. I have an A* grade in a language A Level but some unis won't look at it. I feel suicidal a lot of the time, I feel unaccomplished, and the only thing keeping me alive is my gf. I feel as the only 'interesting' thing about me is that I'm a girl wanting to go into STEM.
I have a weird thing about giving out my age. But I'm an A2 student. I did have a lot of hobbies but now nothing seems fun anymore. And I don't know how to combat my problems as I feel as if people won't believe me. I'm a lesbian and from a country which is pretty conservative and that's one of the things that worries me. The only thing really have brings me happiness is my girlfriend. She keeps telling me that my health is more important than grades but my parents think overwise, they think im mking up pain to get out of doing work.
As hard it may seem sometimes, don't take your life away for something that's temporary happening in your life. you never know when it all turns around to your favour. you're only 18-20ish you still have your whole life ahead of you, you just have to keep strong and continue working hard. you don't have to be an A* student to go uni or even getting a full-time job.