Would you tell your partner if you had slept with your best friend?

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    I've just started seeing a guy and I think it could be heading somewhere. This is just hypothetical as it hasn't happened yet but just from past experience I feel like it might.

    Basically one of my best friends who is a guy I've slept with quite a lot. It was just something that used to happen it never affected our friendship in any way and we are still really close friends. obviously neither of us wanted it to go anywhere or else we would be together.

    with my ex, he once asked if anything had ever happened between me and a different guy friend (which it hadn;t) which makes me think this new guy might eventually ask about my best friend... and also my friends who don't know him always ask when they first hear about him if we are just friends or anything happened (not because of our behaviour just because apparently they think a girl can't be friends with a good looking guy without antyhing more developing)

    if he asks, should I tell him? i have nothing to hide and feel like if he found out i'd lied it would look like i do. also i hate lying. however i don't want him to be weird when i go visit my friend.
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    My partner and best friend are the same person, so I think she probably knows already.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Tootles)
    My partner and best friend are the same person, so I think she probably knows already.
    that's really nice but also not very constructive to my post lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've just started seeing a guy and I think it could be heading somewhere. This is just hypothetical as it hasn't happened yet but just from past experience I feel like it might.

    Basically one of my best friends who is a guy I've slept with quite a lot. It was just something that used to happen it never affected our friendship in any way and we are still really close friends. obviously neither of us wanted it to go anywhere or else we would be together.

    with my ex, he once asked if anything had ever happened between me and a different guy friend (which it hadn;t) which makes me think this new guy might eventually ask about my best friend... and also my friends who don't know him always ask when they first hear about him if we are just friends or anything happened (not because of our behaviour just because apparently they think a girl can't be friends with a good looking guy without antyhing more developing)

    if he asks, should I tell him? i have nothing to hide and feel like if he found out i'd lied it would look like i do. also i hate lying. however i don't want him to be weird when i go visit my friend.
    Ignoring the fact that there's a very real possibility that you or your friend are too emotionally attached (this may later disrupt your relationship regardless) i'd say that yes, you should however that your not under any obligation to (as a rule of thumb running into an ex is something not to mention, a current friendship is).

    Should you cheat of course then your only proving my first point.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's really nice but also not very constructive to my post lol
    At the end of the day your past is your business though if you still spend a lot of time with this friend, your partner should probably know - just for the sake of not having anything to hide.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Ignoring the fact that there's a very real possibility that you or your friend are too emotionally attached (this may later disrupt your relationship regardless) i'd say that yes, you should however that your not under any obligation to (as a rule of thumb running into an ex is something not to mention, a current friendship is).

    Should you cheat of course then your only proving my first point.
    i have the same kind of love for him as i do my female best friends.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have the same kind of love for him as i do my female best friends.
    That does not mean it won't be an issue (and that's assuming he's not in love with you).

    Ultimately, any boyfriend you have is going to have to deal with the fact that you were probably screwing your best friend weeks before you got together and potentially still were during the not exclusive stage. Hell, if you broke up for a short time, how is a guy to trust that you did'nt jump straight back on in the week or two you were apart and not in a relationship.

    It's one of those situations where you have done nothing wrong by the letter of the law, but it's very much against the spirit of your relationship.

    Men do tend to see other men as sexual rivals.
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    That wouldn't happen, my best mate isn't an ugly bloke but he doesn't shave his arse.

    Jokes aside, depends. If you're in that open stage of a relationship where you're discussing past partners then yeah, why not, but personally I think it seems to early to be having such discussions.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rakas21)
    That does not mean it won't be an issue (and that's assuming he's not in love with you).

    Ultimately, any boyfriend you have is going to have to deal with the fact that you were probably screwing your best friend weeks before you got together and potentially still were during the not exclusive stage. Hell, if you broke up for a short time, how is a guy to trust that you did'nt jump straight back on in the week or two you were apart and not in a relationship.

    It's one of those situations where you have done nothing wrong by the letter of the law, but it's very much against the spirit of your relationship.

    Men do tend to see other men as sexual rivals.
    thanks for your input

    my friend is definitely not in love with me! he has been in a relationship for 6 months (she doesn't know but that's his business). the period where we were having sex was just over a year ago so no overlap between him and this guy.

    i guess it'll just be a test of how mature he is. maybe he won't even ask anyway!
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    Being best friends with someone you've slept with in the past

    is this a troll?

    what sane guy would accept that.
 
 
 
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