I Love My Gf But Rae Relationships Really Worth It?

Im in a relationship with my gf of nearly a year and I love her to bits but sometimes I wonder if its all really worth it. I love my gf to bits and love all the benefits of being with her. But then I read threads on here about people just suddenly falling out of love after 4 years, it makes me worried about opening up and giving myself, just to have it whimsically thrown back at me one day.

My gf is so into the relationship at the moment and is convinced im the one and we'll get married etc, i think she's half being jestful but half believes it, im afraid to let my guard down and get so in love with her because there's a possibility she may throw it all back in my face one day.

Theres also the problem of other people, other guys trying it on with my gf, its just so tiresome when she tells me about it, theres nothing I can do to stop it and it just frustrates me, i get jealous of her guy friends . And then ofcourse there's my gf not liking my girl friends and being jealous of them , it all just adds up.

To add to this there's been two occasions when ive nearly broken with my gf, but thankfully I havent, im scared ill just one day won't feel the same aswell , and it drives me mad thinking about what might happen, I just get anxious I know I should but i cant help it. Theres nothing like being in a relationship , but I just resent the downsides to it also. I just find myself worrying more and more reading these threads, and with other guys who like my gf, how cn I get out of this mindframe??

Reply 1

Herr Stamper

Im on a similar level of thought as you, not quite as extreme. Inevitably there will be the question of commitment some way down the line, then you decide if this relationship has been worth it.

Reply 2

generalebriety

There will come a time when you know for certain one way or another. If that time's not now, wait a bit longer. Repeat.

Reply 3

Kingsley

what do you mean by one way or another?

Reply 4

ISH

marriage or a date with your hand

Reply 5

username47781

First of all have a bit of trust in your girl, secondly you cannot predict the future in any relationship, all you can do is enjoy the time you do spend together and take each day as it comes. No relationship is perfect and there is always bad times.

Reply 6

generalebriety

Kingsley

what do you mean by one way or another?

Whether you'll want to stay with her forever, or whether you'll get bored of her.

Otherwise known as: just because other people's relationships fail, doesn't mean yours necessarily will.

Reply 7

Kingsley

hmm yeah, but I really feel like im holding myself from I dont know letting myself get too deep into it for fear, ill get heavily involved then it will fail (on her part) and ill feel stupid. Sometimes being in a realtionship is more trouble than its worth, does everyone else worry this much?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

If you never take a chance and let yourself be vulnerable, you will NEVER truly fall in love and experience what it's like to be worshipped and adored by the person you believe to be the most special in the world.

If you do take that chance, yes, heartbreak is possible. One or both of you might fall out of love. You might get married and settle down and have kids and grandkids, but you won't live forever, and one of you is eventually going to end up alone and miserable. Even if neither of you choose to leave the other, death is eventually going to seperate you.

I love my boyfriend so much. All of my hopes and dreams are centred around him, and the best part is, I know he feels exactly the same way about me. One of us is going to leave the other eventually - maybe through choice, or maybe through death, but it'll happen. And that will hurt more than anything else in the world could. But to have the feeling that we have right now - it's worth it. Being in love is so worth running the risk of heartache.

I can't tell you if your current girlfriend truly is the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with. But if you don't open up and allow your relationship together to develop naturally - you'll never find out if she is or if she isn't.

Anon for personal reasons, mods. PM me if you want to discuss why - don't just de-anon this post, thanks. :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Don't bother, yes what the threads say are true, there are only a lucky few that actually are happy in a relationship. They eventually go sour.
Sorry I have become very cynical, my boyfriend and I we were where you where talking about marriage at the beginning, now he is acting like a jack arse to me.

I sincerely hope you are one of the lucky few, I agree you should open up to you girlfriend and take a chance.

Reply 10

Ang|ophi|e

Love is all about taking risks. I can understand where you're going with this. What's the point in being in a relationship if you know it won't last? Or if you will break up anyways? Love is complicated. That's why some prefer the single life. But those who believe in love and never give up, are the few that remain happy.

But I always say: It's better to have loved than not loved at all.

Reply 11

romario

it is all down to your approach in life. we all know of people who have been married for decades. i have relatives who have never had a relationship with anyone except their spouses and have been married 30+ years. it might have something to do with culture. if you can both make a commitment then it sould last. i have an uncle who was married to his wife for about 50 years. it was his first and last relationship. she died and he still loved her and he got angry when people suggested that he should find someone else to give him company.

sorry to say this but the attitudes make a difference.