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    Hi all,

    Ex girlfriend recently made a fabricated allegation of common assault to the police. My life has been turned upside down. We met randomly on the street about a month ago and had a clear the air. At the end of it, I asked to hug her, she said yes and I did. We then went our separate ways and said goodbye. 3 weeks later, i then get contacted by the police for this allegation!? Its ridiculous. Has anyone had something similar? I've begged the police to find the cctv but fear it is destroyed by now as she made complaint so late. The cctv would have showed clearly that she fabricated entire thing. I just don't know what to do and worse, I don't know why someone would do such a thing and potential hurt someone's career. My biggest mistake with her was wanting to find a resolution for why she has been playing so many games with me. I have never been arrested before, i've never threatened or insulted her in any way. I have simply asked her to stop acting like a child and sit down and speak like adults. I just don't get such a vindictive response, let alone bringing it to the level of police!? any thoughts?
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    she sounds like a nightmare the best thing you can do is speak to her face to face and ask her why she lied, but record the conversation. Then if you catch her out show the police and sue her for slander, you definitely get some compensation. If however she doesn't confess when confronted then tell your family and friends what has happened go to an advisor and they should be able to guide you on what to do next. If she doesn't confess and goes to the police accusing you of assault again then show the police the recorded tape of just a conversation and close the case for good.
    (Original post by valhalla88)
    Hi all,

    Ex girlfriend recently made a fabricated allegation of common assault to the police. My life has been turned upside down. We met randomly on the street about a month ago and had a clear the air. At the end of it, I asked to hug her, she said yes and I did. We then went our separate ways and said goodbye. 3 weeks later, i then get contacted by the police for this allegation!? Its ridiculous. Has anyone had something similar? I've begged the police to find the cctv but fear it is destroyed by now as she made complaint so late. The cctv would have showed clearly that she fabricated entire thing. I just don't know what to do and worse, I don't know why someone would do such a thing and potential hurt someone's career. My biggest mistake with her was wanting to find a resolution for why she has been playing so many games with me. I have never been arrested before, i've never threatened or insulted her in any way. I have simply asked her to stop acting like a child and sit down and speak like adults. I just don't get such a vindictive response, let alone bringing it to the level of police!? any thoughts?
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    (Original post by Aaron Bernbaum)
    she sounds like a nightmare the best thing you can do is speak to her face to face and ask her why she lied, but record the conversation. Then if you catch her out show the police and sue her for slander, you definitely get some compensation. If however she doesn't confess when confronted then tell your family and friends what has happened go to an advisor and they should be able to guide you on what to do next. If she doesn't confess and goes to the police accusing you of assault again then show the police the recorded tape of just a conversation and close the case for good.

    Thank Aaron. Unfortunately its too late for that. Because the police are now investigating it (it falls under domestic abuse as we were in a prior relationship), i have bail conditions which state that I cannot contact her. So as much as I would want to tell her off about this or get her in a room with a mediator / counsellor, I can't because I would get arrested again for breaching those conditions.

    Whole thing is not only ridiculous but my entire life is restricted. I passed her the other day at a shopping centre and literally had to run away as i was advised to do by police. Looking over my shoulders constantly. She has definitely lied and fabricated this. I have no problem admitting that I hugged her - definitely not something i'd dispute. However, to later twist that hug into something serious - i just don't get it. I don't get how someone could do that. She's late twenties and a professional, not a kid who doesn't know any better.
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    (Original post by valhalla88)
    Hi all,

    Ex girlfriend recently made a fabricated allegation of common assault to the police. My life has been turned upside down. We met randomly on the street about a month ago and had a clear the air. At the end of it, I asked to hug her, she said yes and I did. We then went our separate ways and said goodbye. 3 weeks later, i then get contacted by the police for this allegation!? Its ridiculous. Has anyone had something similar? I've begged the police to find the cctv but fear it is destroyed by now as she made complaint so late. The cctv would have showed clearly that she fabricated entire thing. I just don't know what to do and worse, I don't know why someone would do such a thing and potential hurt someone's career. My biggest mistake with her was wanting to find a resolution for why she has been playing so many games with me. I have never been arrested before, i've never threatened or insulted her in any way. I have simply asked her to stop acting like a child and sit down and speak like adults. I just don't get such a vindictive response, let alone bringing it to the level of police!? any thoughts?

    doubt anything will come of it.

    it's her word versus yours with no witnesses. It's not enough to get you convicted.
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    I know the feeling of living in fear of false allegations. It sent me over the edge and was a very traumatic time of my life.

    Tell your family and friends, first and foremost. They will support you and help you get through this, and they can be a life-saver. You may also want to consider counselling/therapy to help you get through this time, as the effects it can leave on you can be long-lasting and hugely negatively impact your life.

    It doesn't appear as if she has any "proof" of her allegation. On the flip side, since she has filed a complaint with the police and thus this accusation is on record, once things are done with her claim you can then file against her for defamation of character. Look it up on Google; I'm no legal expert, but the short of it is that if you need to prove it's had an effect on you and was done with the intent of damage to you.

    We live in a world where false allegations are rife, because people are selfish and don't understand the impact such things can have on an individual. You have my sympathies and I hope you can get through this. All the best.
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    Ignore her and get on with your life. She's obviously poisonous. If there's no corroborating evidence to support her allegation (and from what you've said there isn't) it won't get to court. If there is, it'll back your side of the story.

    Stay strong and keep the end goal in sight.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    I know the feeling of living in fear of false allegations. It sent me over the edge and was a very traumatic time of my life.

    Tell your family and friends, first and foremost. They will support you and help you get through this, and they can be a life-saver. You may also want to consider counselling/therapy to help you get through this time, as the effects it can leave on you can be long-lasting and hugely negatively impact your life.

    It doesn't appear as if she has any "proof" of her allegation. On the flip side, since she has filed a complaint with the police and thus this accusation is on record, once things are done with her claim you can then file against her for defamation of character. Look it up on Google; I'm no legal expert, but the short of it is that if you need to prove it's had an effect on you and was done with the intent of damage to you.

    We live in a world where false allegations are rife, because people are selfish and don't understand the impact such things can have on an individual. You have my sympathies and I hope you can get through this. All the best.
    Thank you for the advice. My friends and family are aware of this but obviously, I cannot burden them everyday with this as they have their own lives, (non-vindictive) partners, work etc. The strangest thing is i'm not angry, i'm not livid even though I should be. I'm simply numb. Maybe the shock of it all hasn't quite sunk in yet. All i end up thinking about is why? How has this person (who is in the same industry and knows full well the repercussions of this) validated themselves to do this?

    Its not the 'proof' that i'm worried about as I know what happened and I know this was entirely fabricated. Its the effect is has, the treatment as a criminal and the potential loss of my job as a result of this (which is current possibility). Maybe, just, maybe if the cctv is found she may get into trouble but given the way this has gone so far, i doubt it. The worst thing is I made a complaint against her several week prior begging the police to help me because she was likely to do something like this. They dismissed me and didn't even bother interviewing her. She comes back weeks later and I'm the one arrested!?
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    (Original post by Duncan2012)
    Ignore her and get on with your life. She's obviously poisonous. If there's no corroborating evidence to support her allegation (and from what you've said there isn't) it won't get to court. If there is, it'll back your side of the story.

    Stay strong and keep the end goal in sight.
    Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm doing my best. Obviously, the uncertainty is the awful part. Had some good news from my legal representative today but until this is put to bed, i'm always on edge.

    She certainly seems to have a poisonous streak in her (although i never once saw it when we were together). Its as though this whole thing hasn't affected her at all (although i obviously don't speak to or see her so this is purely me presuming). She (or her friends) must have really done a number on themselves to make me out to be some crazy nut to justify why this is 'deserved' - whatever i said unknowingly to her in the past must have seriously angered her and she has never given me the courtesy of telling me what (if anything) i did or said despite me repeatedly asking so that we can put this whole thing to bed. No rational or empathic person would risk putting themselves in the firing line if this backfired on them, let alone potentially ruin someone else's career. With this type of allegation, it could also wreck her career (particularly if cctv is found and is conclusive) if it backfires on her given the nature of the job we have. Given the fact its totally fabricated, the risk to her is actually as great as it is to me, which makes the whole thing even more crazy and odd and non-sensical.
 
 
 
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