Join in on our 'Guess the Rep' Competition! >>

Grief

I have a thread going in the a-level exams forum - this isn't for results adivce though - this is for myself.

I want to know how (if you have) you've coped with grief.

I guess i'm really writing because I have no-one to talk to who I can say everything to. I have such a mixed up head right now and don't know what to feel or do.

My grandad died in the early hours of thursday morning - he was 79, had a good innings and still had his mind intact (If it ever was to begin with :smile:

)

He was seriously ill about 4 years ago - we thought we were going to lose him then - he'd been through so much, so, so much.
He tripped over a rug on tuesday in his local woolworths, broke his shoulder and went to hosipital, they reckon it caused complications in other things old age brings and he passed away during the night - my poor grandma thought he was still sleeping when she woke up.
She says she heard him coughing during the night so he must have passed away after that - but all I have in my mind is my grandad coughing what if it was then he was dying - what if he couldn't breathe, id hate to go like that, it'd be the worst way to go.

I'm crying again now lol.

I'm so angry at woolworths too, I know it wasn't their fault but, it's unfair.

And then there's the fact i'm never going to see him again, I don't get it, it doesn't make sense.

I want to write him a letter because I think he'll know what it says.

then there's all the rubbish stuff to do with results!

I keep crying for no reason, i can't sleep. I don't know what to do, i've never lost anyone close before.

Thanks for reading this, I know it doesn't make sense and it's a pathetic and poorly typed passage, I just need to write something.

Reply 1

cpj1987

Aww.
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's not much consolation, but he'd lived a long life, and as you said, was doing well with his mind still intact. If anything, I'd say it's better for him to go like that than to have continued and lost his mind and his dignity.
If I were you, I'd write him that letter, as getting some of your thoughts out onto paper will help you to understand them better.
I've not lost a family member since I've been old enough to remember; but a friend of mine did die a few years ago suddenly from meningitis - and I remember how much that got to me, but I found that one day, for just a second, the shock/grief lifted, and after that, it was easier to keep going back to that time more and more.
As for your A-Level results; just try and remember how proud your grandpa would've been of you for getting those A-Levels; and remember to value them for that, as well as all of the hard work you've put into them.
Also, as difficult as it is not to, try not to think of your grandpa's death - especially since you're unsure of the way in which he died. It may well be that he died very peacefully in his sleep, so hold on to this image rather than the more negative one.
I hope everything goes okay for you, and you're welcome to PM me at any time if you'd like.