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Homesickness / dropping out

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    Hi everyone,

    I'm originally from Manchester but moved to London for uni for a pretty top uni. This was just on Saturday, and fresher's week is this week...

    I've been struggling. I've been sick a couple of times with nerves, I've barely eaten (and, yknow, normally I eat a lot), I'm constantly on the verge of tears and just generally really upset..

    There's two main things - I'm so far away from home! I know it pales in comparison to international students but I'm really struggling. My mum is single mum and we're really close - my sister has moved just over an hour away which is lovely... I've already had to spend one night at hers when i was really rough (I've not had one before but I'm pretty sure I've had a couple of panic attacks?)
    The other side is that uni itself seems ridiculously intense. I'm in 9-5/6 everyday except one, and apparently we get a lot of work outside lectures and labs (I'm doing chemistry with Spanish btw).
    I've met a few people and although I'm shy I think we've jelled - my flatmates are nice and stuff... But London is a very big place and i feel very isolated, especially when traveling around. I'm not attending many freshers events (I went to the first party and Im feeling so unwell that I couldn't stay up late and pretend to enjoy it - same for pretty much everything else...)

    I had Manchester uni as my insurance and I'm seriously considering dropping out here and reapplying next year. The problem is I worked *so* hard to get in here, coming from a terrible state school, and I really want to enjoy it here. But it just feels like too much at once - moving out, uni itself, feeding myself, etc. If I do drop out and wait until next year, I'd probably have to get a job up north and being honest depending on what it was that could well give me similar stress levels...

    I'm going to try and give it the first two weeks at least.. if I was to stay here long term, all I can think about is getting the train or megabus up to Manchester every weekend... Is this normal?

    Basically... I'm just wondering if anyone has any help or advice. Should I drop out, knowing that I probably won't be loads happier if I'm working but at least I'll be able to go home at the end of the day - or should I try to continue here and either hope I grow to love it or manage to get to the end of the year and could transfer to second year at Manchester if I'm doing well enough? Any tips for dealing with the physical side of things - crying, shaking, being sick? I've so far managed to hide all of this from my flatmates (I'm ok when im with people, it just comes out when I'm alone... Like at night).

    I feel very conflicted and my family are trying not to interfere and just telling me that it's up to me and that they'll support whatever decision I make . I would just like some opinions... I feel like I massively overestimated myself, and I just want to go home, but I don't want to give up a place at a top ten world uni that I worked my butt off for because I'm feeling homesick.... I feel very conflicted...

    Thank you. (And sorry this has been so long! I just don't know how to explain myself any better)
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    I think you should stick to it. You are going to have to move out eventually and uni is a great way to start because there will be many students like yourself.

    It just sounds like you suffer from extreme anxiety and might benefit you to go see a professional about it whilst you are there at uni.

    Uni is a daunting experience for a lot of students. But I really do believe you are just emotional right now and once things calm down and do not become overwhelming, youll start to settle in.

    Speak to your family on a regular basis but do not reference how much you are missing them or wishing you were with them or closer to them. I do think it is very unhealthy to not feel the need to move out of your family home or actually start to become independent when you turn 18.

    So, I think you should stick it out, talk to a professional about how to manage and cope with your anxiety and try to enjoy your week a little bit more.

    Good luck!
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    Hello,

    Sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time. Starting uni can be very stressful as everything is new. Just remember that everyone is in the same boat and there's lots of support around so don't struggle by yourself.

    Try joining clubs and societies that interest you as it will help you make friends. Maybe go see advice and counselling. Going home helps but every weekend is a bit much. You'll miss out on gaining independence and will be exhausted both physically and financially. Once your course picks up and you get busy it'll get easier but after a term or even the year if you're still struggling maybe you need to rethink. Transferring to Manchester is a good idea or maybe taking some time off to work, work out what you want to do and then decide if you want/need a uni degree.
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    I think you should stick to it. You are going to have to move out eventually and uni is a great way to start because there will be many students like yourself.

    It just sounds like you suffer from extreme anxiety and might benefit you to go see a professional about it whilst you are there at uni.

    Uni is a daunting experience for a lot of students. But I really do believe you are just emotional right now and once things calm down and do not become overwhelming, youll start to settle in.

    Speak to your family on a regular basis but do not reference how much you are missing them or wishing you were with them or closer to them. I do think it is very unhealthy to not feel the need to move out of your family home or actually start to become independent when you turn 18.

    So, I think you should stick it out, talk to a professional about how to manage and cope with your anxiety and try to enjoy your week a little bit more.

    Good luck!
    Thanks...

    I mean, I definitely do think I have some kind of anxiety problem and I'll go to the doctor at some point - I've put it off for a while because I don't really want the medication (I used to take it for migraine). I'd have to see if there are any alternatives... But yeah can't really avoid admitting it...

    I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to move out. I have wanted to for a while but this seems like a massive step and I think going to uni while at home and then maybe moving out for my second year (when I am still close enough to go home regularly if I want to) would help me...

    I'm really going to try and stick this out, but I'm not even sure how long I can manage really. I just don't feel positive about any of this at the minute
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    Hi,

    I am in a similar situation so I know how you feel. I'm far away from family/friends and don't know how I can stay at uni for 3 years. That said, I got on a course that is hard to get into and I feel like I'd be giving up on a great opportunity. Right now I'm thinking to see how I'll feel next spring/summer and considering to apply to another uni closer to family.
 
 
 
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