I need your help, please

Ok,

So. Im 18 and ive just started my first real relationship with a girl i used to be best friends with for ages, and ive known my whole life. One moment i feel lucky and the next i feel so...awkward. Its just wierd but i want it to work and i think it could.

But the only reason ive waited this long for someone to have a relationship with me, is because im scared of what people think of me, if people look at you and judge you, im sick of feeling this way. I know i shouldnt and its a shallow way to look at things but i just get worried.

Also im a virgin and i know shes not, she went out with one of my best mates for a year and a half, and i know, well shes already started the whole 'sex' topic and im gonna tell her im a virgin but i know ill mess up first time, im physically scared of sex with my girlfriend.

I dont know what to do, one part of me says break up, but if i break up, ill never gain relationship experiece, im off to uni in september.
But if i dont break up with her ive gotta face this stuff.

...Ahhh!

please help :frown:

Reply 1

Ang|ophi|e

12

You're just nervous. Why would you want to break up with a girl just because you don't think you can handle the physical stuff? Just talk things with her. She'll understand and make it a lot less awkward and more easier for you. :smile:

The key to every good relationship is communication.

Reply 2

username94219

0

20

Ang|ophi|e

You're just nervous. Why would you want to break up with a girl just because you don't think you can handle the physical stuff? Just talk things with her. She'll understand and make it a lot less awkward and more easier for you. :smile:

The key to every good relationship is communication.

Ditto

Reply 3

midgetaco

OP

yeah, thanks, i guess that makes me feel better.

I thought the key was trust...?

I dunno, normally id be myself around her but im so quiet, im jus nervous.

but also, its not that im overwieght but this might have something to do with her, lets put it this way, im lucky, shes has a much better physique than i could.

Kinda out of my league, i always feel i cant live up to her standards if ya get me.

Reply 4

daggy

Reply 5

midgetaco

OP

Wow, this feedbacks really good lol, however i wanna make the complaint the anonymous button doesnt work!

Lol, yeah i think im just gonna be open and stick with it. Its only been one night and i miss her.

Reply 6

Tyrannosaurus Cal

15

You sound like a nice guy, and I can understand your fear...I'm slightly similar.

Dont worry about the physical aspect of it though, just wait until the awkwardness subsides, and I'm sure things will feel more natural too. If she's nice, she won't judge you on being a virgin, because only a nasty girl would.

And you won't mess up....first times are always nerve-wracking, I know mine was, but if I'm honest, there's not much you can get wrong, as long as it's with someone nice, who you like lots!

Reply 7

--

3

Sex is both awesome and funny, messing up on your first time is not the end of the world, just remember to see the funny side. If she knows you're a virgin and she's as close as it sounds you are then she'll make it a lot easier on you. If you avoid physical stuff with someone you're incredibly close to, you're probably going to run away from it your whole life, and will then actually do it in 5-10 years and realise it was really, really not a big deal and absolutely nothing to be scared of. And, frankly, you'll feel a bit of a tit. You don't want to feel like a tit now, do you?

Reply 8

Murali

shes used to be your best mate so iam sure she'll understand, just talk to her :smile:

and if she doesnt understand than she obv isnt the right one for you ! win win situation :biggrin:

Reply 9

HaNzY

2

from a girls point of view, i think it's really cute when you go out with a guy thats a virgin. sex is quite hard to mess up really, and if you do mess up then laugh it off and tell her your gonna need lots of practise :wink:

lol you'll be fine, just don't act nervous because thats when things can get screwed up and not fun anymore. some good advice from the others in this thread by the way :smile:

Reply 10

midgetaco

OP

3232

If you avoid physical stuff with someone you're incredibly close to, you're probably going to run away from it your whole life, and will then actually do it in 5-10 years and realise it was really, really not a big deal and absolutely nothing to be scared of.

im scared this is really true and i might do it.

I feel like im upto the physical stuff when i imagine myself in a relationship with another girl.

But that might be my nerves making me think something else so i can avoid it.

And i care too much about what other people think, i dont want other people to see us together because im just scared of what people say about us. I wish i wouldnt care but i do, i guess im really shallow.

i genuinely think we shouldnt be going out. But another girl might not be as thoughtful with the whole virgin thing.

:frown:

ahhhhhhhh!

Reply 11

®as©al

just do it

Reply 12

Tyrannosaurus Cal

15

Helpful.

If it's not the right relationship for you, then don't just do anything because you don't want to be the big V anymore. Don't just try to get it out of the way. But I think you do like this person, and it's nothing to do with what anyone else thinks! They don't have to know anything :p:

Reply 13

®as©al

The Anthropologist

Sounds like nerves to me!

yes

Reply 14

welshprincess

1

I agree with what everyone else is saying :smile:

I think it's natural that guys feel nervous especially seeing as it is your first relationship. I guess you feel a bit more pressured too because she's not only your girlfriend but your best friend too? One of my exes was a virgin when i got with him, it didn't bother me in the slightest, he told me he was worried and we took things slow. Just talk to her and share your concerns and tell her you're worried. She'll understand and will respect you more for being honest rather than putting on a front and acting all confident which a lot of guys do xx<3

Reply 15

bobbyb99

yep, remember you will need to get physical at one time in your life, and perhaps the more you put it off the worse it will get.

Just tell her you're a virgin so she'll understand. Im sure she will prefer you being virgin than just some guy who sleeps around.

Reply 16

midgetaco

OP

bobbyb99

yep, remember you will need to get physical at one time in your life, and perhaps the more you put it off the worse it will get.

Just tell her you're a virgin so she'll understand. Im sure she will prefer you being virgin than just some guy who sleeps around.

I understand this point but i dont think were a match in general.

I dunno. We have nothing in common, but for some reason we get on phenomenally.

Reply 17

Tyrannosaurus Cal

15

You don't necessarily need to have anything in common, it's all about how you feel about her, not about how conventional you are as a couple..

Getting on with her phenomenally seems like good grounds for romance, in my book!

I need your help, please

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