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Social Anxiety

    • Thread Starter
    #1

    hey, so what i used to think was shyness/introverted is now social anxiety; the thing is, i want to talk to other ppl but i can't - literally (my facial muscles tense up and i can't control it)

    having said that i've always managed to have friends; however, i've started uni and feel incredibly lonely and lost - i have talked to many people but i don't have any real friends. i guess i also feel overwhelmed about moving out and find the prospect of beginning a degree daunting ( i get more fearful than excited of starting new things )

    having said that, i am much better at socialising than i used to be and with people i've known a long time i'm more or less fine (yay) but i want to know: how do you talk to ppl/be more confident?

    i think my SA stems from a lot of things (bullied at a young age, critical parent, low self esteem/hating myself, lack of identity...) - does therapy even work? what other methods are there? i don't want to live my life like this forever

    p.s i know it's long but i appreciate you if you read this!
    p.ps pls be nice

    p.p.ps this better be anonymous D:
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    You've highlighted a lot of positives there and thats a really great thing. You can acknowledge what's going well for you and that's a real strength.

    Therapy works for some and doesnt for others. What constitutes something "working" also varies between different people for different reasons.

    Maybe speaking to someone close to you about how you're feeling could help, or a self help guide on anxiety online. There are many ways that we can help ourselves, and it doesn't have to be going down the formal route. Find what works for you, sounds like you're heading in the right direction.
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    I struggle with SA and other mental health problems too. I'm literally silent in group situations (it hurts thinking about it) but I can have very meaningful one-to-one conversations that intrigue people.

    My advice to you would be to not try too hard. I'm quite open about the fact that I struggle socially and that I don't have many friends.
    People respect me for it. I assume its quite a refreshing thing to hear- they appreciate that you value their company and that you are trying.

    PM me if you want to discuss. x
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Emily.97)
    You've highlighted a lot of positives there and thats a really great thing. You can acknowledge what's going well for you and that's a real strength.

    Therapy works for some and doesnt for others. What constitutes something "working" also varies between different people for different reasons.

    Maybe speaking to someone close to you about how you're feeling could help, or a self help guide on anxiety online. There are many ways that we can help ourselves, and it doesn't have to be going down the formal route. Find what works for you, sounds like you're heading in the right direction.
    thank you for your reply! it took me ages to recognise the contributing factors to my SA/why i am like i am but now that i have hopefully they can be fixed
    but tbh i don't think they can (it's much deeper; literally taken over by it, as if it's an intrinsic/biological response)

    i told two people: school welfare officer and a close friend - but they don't understand, nobody does (unless you're a fellow sufferer)
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by queenofswords)
    I struggle with SA and other mental health problems too. I'm literally silent in group situations (it hurts thinking about it) but I can have very meaningful one-to-one conversations that intrigue people.

    My advice to you would be to not try too hard. I'm quite open about the fact that I struggle socially and that I don't have many friends.
    People respect me for it. I assume its quite a refreshing thing to hear- they appreciate that you value their company and that you are trying.

    PM me if you want to discuss. x
    i was half way through pm'ing you until i realised it'd reveal my identity d:

    i guess my SA is bad (though it varies in different situations) so admitting it to people would make things 45% worse/awks

    i used to be content with my own company but arriving at uni (late) and seeing ppl happy and in groups whilst i'm out alone makes me acutely aware of my loneliness/self induced isolation (i already suffer from depression so not sure if this is having a bearing)

    even though i want to be treated i can't because a) probably won't work b) i don't want it on record that i'm so screwed up

    anyway, enough about me - i am sorry for what you have to go through but i pray we can both battle it out together
 
 
 
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Updated: October 5, 2016
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