Am I the only person that doesn't associate sex with relationships?

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    Most people look forward to having sex with their partners or at least have fantasies. I can't remember the last time I've day dreamed about sleeping with someone I'm into. Most of the time I go with the flow and do certain things to please my partner. Its not that I don't want to do it, I'm just not really fussed about any of it. I'll happily just snuggle up on the sofa with my boyfriend instead. I want to feel excited about the prospect of having sex however my mind takes me other places and I lose interest before anything has even begun. When I look back at past relationships I've practically been the same, most of the time I didn't even fantasise about kissing the guy let alone having sex with him.


    It is really frustrating for me. Just to clarify I haven't had sex before just done most things before sex. I'm worried when I have sex it will be very ''meh'' for me and I won't enjoy it. I feel so bad because my boyfriend is usually very turned on and up for most things, he'll ask what I want to do and I don't even know myself.

    Before anyone suggests porn does nothing for me and neither did masturbating tbh.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

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    im like this, ive not had sex bc being a virgin is important to me and i go with the flow too. yeah i have sexual fantasies like everyone else but i go into relationships bc of the emotional side of them and emotionally having someone. sexual relationship are so over rated.
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    you are not alone
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    Mmmm I'm similar in that sex is almost an afterthought or irrelevance when it comes to a relationship.

    Apparently as a guy I'm supposed to be getting a girlfriend purely for the regular sex, according to some of my friends....hm.
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    The title applies to me, yet I'm totally the opposite to you. I don't automatically start to develop feelings for someone just because I've had sex with them a few times, yet when I'm in a relationship I need sex as 1) my libido is way above average and 2) I'm not great at showing my emotions and love and I feel like I need to be intimate with a girl I'm in a relationship with as that's my way of being affectionate. Don't get me wrong, I love to cuddle up and get cozy and take it no further than that, but it's just not a complete relationship without regular sex for me.
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    I wouldn't get into a relationship for sex but at the same time I would expect it at some point lel
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    Like a few others have said, you are not alone.

    Me and my recent girlfriend are both aesexual, although I don't label myself as such. It's one thing I love about her, especially since my last relationship, which was also my first, ended because I wasn't ready or wanting sex.

    Some people love it, some hate it, some are indifferent. Regardless you will find someone who doesn't care about your disinterest in sex
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    didn't really think sex would be as important to me as it is in relationships now that I've had it...
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    LOL everyone on tsr is a virgin.
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    Came so close to having it, as much as I regret not having it, doing it with a person I'd rather forget would have ruined it for me. If you don't want to have sex, it's your own personal choice and people should respect that.
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    It's not abnormal.

    I definitely need sex in a relationship, but not everyone has the same libido.
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    (Original post by AlexFam)
    It's not abnormal.

    I definitely need sex in a relationship, but not everyone has the same libido.
    This really. There's nothing weird about how you feel OP, some people just aren't that interested in sex. For me it's one of the best things about being in a relationship.
 
 
 
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