Terrified of intimacy

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Okay - going to get straight into it.
    I was groomed and sexually abused over the internet from the age of 12 until 14 and ever since then, I've been scared s***less of sex and relationships.
    I'm currently in an amazing relationship with a great guy for almost a year. We've talked about having sex quite a lot lately as I'd finally warmed up to the idea but I don't know how to initiate anything.
    I want to be able to be like any normal person and just have sex with the guy I love but at the moment, it's tearing me apart to not be able to just get along with it.
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    You've talked about having sex with each other, what sort of thing have you both said? Does he know that you have worries? Have you had any physical contact?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by unprinted)
    You've talked about having sex with each other, what sort of thing have you both said? Does he know that you have worries? Have you had any physical contact?
    Well, we've both discussed it and agreed that we're both ready. We've even gone so far as to get contraception. He knows about my fears and has said that we won't do anything that I'm not ready for.
    We've done a fair bit and have had a bit of sexual contact but it is kind of limited to oral (on him) and that's about it. It's just taking it that extra step that I can't hack.
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    Apologies for taking a while to reply. The book I'd recommend that I've been trying to find my copy of is 'Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma' by Staci Haines, published by Cleis Press. It's not as cheap on Amazon as I'd like, but it's very good.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you, I will make sure to take a look at it.
 
 
 
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Updated: October 12, 2016
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