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Confusing guy at uni

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    Hello everyone, so I've been really confused about this guy who seems to be interested in me... Again.

    Before university ended for summer, he would constantly be messaging me and talking to me in classes, we met up and we ended up kissing and did that for a couple of times - he mentioned to me at the start that he's not the kinda guy who would be good in a relationship (as he had just split with his ex) and doesn't want to hurt my feelings as he really likes me. Then he distanced himself from me, wouldn't reply to me etc, but when he saw me irl he would talk as normal, just not in the same way as before if you get what I mean. I actually thought he really disliked me at this point.

    Now university has just started again and he has been teasing me and joking about, - didn't message me throughout summer btw - also asked that we should hang out at some point when I'm free. I'm genuinely confused, like what does he want? I think he's an amazing friend but I don't know what his intentions are, is he just being friendly or does he want something else? I know he doesn't want sex as everyone knows I'm Christian, he would have tried atleast when we were kissing but he was decent in that situation. Just a bit confused and it's actually driving me crazy cause I really, really like this guy to pieces!
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    (Original post by georgia_93)
    Hello everyone, so I've been really confused about this guy who seems to be interested in me... Again.

    Before university ended for summer, he would constantly be messaging me and talking to me in classes, we met up and we ended up kissing and did that for a couple of times - he mentioned to me at the start that he's not the kinda guy who would be good in a relationship (as he had just split with his ex) and doesn't want to hurt my feelings as he really likes me. Then he distanced himself from me, wouldn't reply to me etc, but when he saw me irl he would talk as normal, just not in the same way as before if you get what I mean. I actually thought he really disliked me at this point.

    Now university has just started again and he has been teasing me and joking about, - didn't message me throughout summer btw - also asked that we should hang out at some point when I'm free. I'm genuinely confused, like what does he want? I think he's an amazing friend but I don't know what his intentions are, is he just being friendly or does he want something else? I know he doesn't want sex as everyone knows I'm Christian, he would have tried atleast when we were kissing but he was decent in that situation. Just a bit confused and it's actually driving me crazy cause I really, really like this guy to pieces!
    Hey OP,

    Sorry to hear about this situation :console: — going to move this over to Relationships and hopefully people will have some good advice for you

    Ethan
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    My only possible hypothesis is that he didn't want to be with you at the first period but now he's changed his mind. I am however tired and generally useless at understanding people being none-straightforward in these sorts of situations.
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    I think you need to be wary of this guy. I'm sorry but that is my honest opinion. If someone tells you he's not the type of guy to be good in a relationship..... believe him!!! And, he's proved to you that that is the case my not being a particularly good friend. If you don't have any feelings for him and don't think you'll end up getting feelings for him then don't worry about his weird, inconsistent, behavior. But, it you could end up liking him you are setting yourself up to be hurt. Maybe, he's changed his strips but being that he didn't contact you all summer I doubt it. Some guys just act like that.... they may actually like a girl but they don't want any sort of commitment or responsibility to any relationship and the minute there could be expectations from a girl they disappear. There is no explanation, and it's not you, they just don't want anyone having any expectations of them. So, he may genuinely like you and he might kiss you again but I'd make him really chase you and make sure that is what he really wants before you kiss him back and be aware he might (and most likely will) go MIA again. Good Luck.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    My only possible hypothesis is that he didn't want to be with you at the first period but now he's changed his mind. I am however tired and generally useless at understanding people being none-straightforward in these sorts of situations.
    Thank you for taking the time to read my situation, haha yeah i'm just as confused as you!
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    I think you need to be wary of this guy. I'm sorry but that is my honest opinion. If someone tells you he's not the type of guy to be good in a relationship..... believe him!!! And, he's proved to you that that is the case my not being a particularly good friend. If you don't have any feelings for him and don't think you'll end up getting feelings for him then don't worry about his weird, inconsistent, behavior. But, it you could end up liking him you are setting yourself up to be hurt. Maybe, he's changed his strips but being that he didn't contact you all summer I doubt it. Some guys just act like that.... they may actually like a girl but they don't want any sort of commitment or responsibility to any relationship and the minute there could be expectations from a girl they disappear. There is no explanation, and it's not you, they just don't want anyone having any expectations of them. So, he may genuinely like you and he might kiss you again but I'd make him really chase you and make sure that is what he really wants before you kiss him back and be aware he might (and most likely will) go MIA again. Good Luck.
    Thanks so much for your detailed response, I have taken into account everything that you have said, I have feelings for this guy but I'm just going to have to pretend they don't exist as I don't want to ruin our friendship. It sucks that he's like this as he's the most awesome guy I've ever met - he's just weird and confused when it comes to relationships I guess...
 
 
 
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Updated: October 6, 2016
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