Typical Stupid Boyfriend Thread

Hey everyone,

Sorry for this thread, I know its a standard on here, but I'm aware that I cant really think straight right now and I dont really want to make it worse.

Basically, I'd been with my boyfriend for two years last week, but for the last few weeks, he's started texting me a lot lot less, stopped telling me he loved me and generally being distant. We're in an LDR during term time but are together in the holidays, however this summer i have been working an hour away on the train and come home at weekends.

Its come to a head over the last couple of weekends, where he's gone to his mates (who he stays with in the week) instead of coming to see me, saying he wants to "chill with his mates cuz he hasn't seen them much". He came to se me last weekend for our anniversary, we were going to talk about things but didnt because we wanted to enjoy the weekend.

He's working nights this summer to earn more, and he comes to mine in the mornings. So this morning I was waiting for him to turn up and he never did (this happened the previous week too) saying he didnt want to wake me up, even though he hasnt cared before. I've been trying to meet with him all day to sort it out but he'd only see me if I went round his friends house where he was - understandably I wanted to talk somewhere alone without the friend there. He stayed there playing computer games and I havent seen him, claiming his back hurt too much to come to mine.

Now, tonight we were planning to go out with friends, when suddenly he tells me he's going to another friends birthday party (who I cant stand). I suggest going out for a bit and then to the party. Anyway, we argued, and it ended up with me telling him to be at mine by 7 to talk or we were through. He refused to come, saying he wouldnt be given an ultimatum and he was getting picked up to go to this party by then (meaning he never inteded to compromise anyway). So he's gone out, saying he deserves some fun.

He claims there's nothing wrong and he does want to be with me, but he's sick of the arguing, as am I, but he refuses to take any blame for the arguments. It feels like this party, where he only knew 3 people, was more important than sorting out our relationship, so im pretty upset right now.

Sorry for the length of this...any suggestions? His stuff's ready to be thrown onto the lawn I'm that mad and upset.

He got all offended about the ultimatum, saying that no one tells him what to do. He's changed mainly since he started working nights, but again claims that isnt the problem. He keeps texting me like once an hour as well. Tonight is going to drive me crazy ARGH!!

Knowing him he'll probably come round tomorrow and expect to be forgiven, I'm not sure I can do that, but when I ask him why he does things he just apologises and never gives reasons. Thank you all for your advice so far.

Hey everyone,

Sorry for this thread, I know its a standard on here, but I'm aware that I cant really think straight right now and I dont really want to make it worse.

Basically, I'd been with my boyfriend for two years last week, but for the last few weeks, he's started texting me a lot lot less, stopped telling me he loved me and generally being distant. We're in an LDR during term time but are together in the holidays, however this summer i have been working an hour away on the train and come home at weekends.

Its come to a head over the last couple of weekends, where he's gone to his mates (who he stays with in the week) instead of coming to see me, saying he wants to "chill with his mates cuz he hasn't seen them much". He came to se me last weekend for our anniversary, we were going to talk about things but didnt because we wanted to enjoy the weekend.

He's working nights this summer to earn more, and he comes to mine in the mornings. So this morning I was waiting for him to turn up and he never did (this happened the previous week too) saying he didnt want to wake me up, even though he hasnt cared before. I've been trying to meet with him all day to sort it out but he'd only see me if I went round his friends house where he was - understandably I wanted to talk somewhere alone without the friend there. He stayed there playing computer games and I havent seen him, claiming his back hurt too much to come to mine.

Now, tonight we were planning to go out with friends, when suddenly he tells me he's going to another friends birthday party (who I cant stand). I suggest going out for a bit and then to the party. Anyway, we argued, and it ended up with me telling him to be at mine by 7 to talk or we were through. He refused to come, saying he wouldnt be given an ultimatum and he was getting picked up to go to this party by then (meaning he never inteded to compromise anyway). So he's gone out, saying he deserves some fun.

He claims there's nothing wrong and he does want to be with me, but he's sick of the arguing, as am I, but he refuses to take any blame for the arguments. It feels like this party, where he only knew 3 people, was more important than sorting out our relationship, so im pretty upset right now.

Sorry for the length of this...any suggestions? His stuff's ready to be thrown onto the lawn I'm that mad and upset.

Sounds like he's more concerned about being the boss than actually being with you.

Really? Sounds the other way round to me. x-nina-x seems to be trying everything she can to make her the most important thing in his life, and to dictate to him what she wants. You only have to look as far as the ultimatum to see that..

Advice? Give him some space, make it seem like you can enjoy life just fine without him, as in, don't get angry when he doesn't show up for stuff, and don't bitch and whine when he does things that annoy you.

Now, tonight we were planning to go out with friends, when suddenly he tells me he's going to another friends birthday party (who I cant stand). I suggest going out for a bit and then to the party. Anyway, we argued, and it ended up with me telling him to be at mine by 7 to talk or we were through. He refused to come, saying he wouldnt be given an ultimatum and he was getting picked up to go to this party by then (meaning he never inteded to compromise anyway). So he's gone out, saying he deserves some fun.

Why shouldn't she get angry when he acts in a way that is completely out of order. He is meant to be in a long term committed relationship and from what she says he can't even give her the time of day. I could understand this sort of behavior if it was a new relationship but it isn't. When you are with someone for a long period of time you owe them the common decency to letting them know what is going on. This has nothing to do with who is the boss in their relationship it is to do with the fact that she deserves to know where she stands and giving him an ultimatum under this situation is fine.