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Crush on (VERY VERY VERY) Older Guy

Hi guys.

Some of you might find this funny ( :rolleyes:

) but I've developed an intense crush on a colleague who is about 30 years older than me! (I'm mid twenties BTW).

Now obviously you are wondering, how on earth can someone be attracted to someone so .... ahem, well...old? Usually when two people get on so insanely well and make each other laugh and generally enjoy each others company, thats where things start. I admire him in so many ways as well, its almost as if I want to be like him. I try not to have dirty thoughts about it (the physical stuff) because on one level is does really sicken me, but on another level I find it nice to think about hugging, even kissing. I dream about him too, day dreams and night dreams. :frown:

Whats even worse thing is I accidently caught him looking at a dating site, so I secretly checked out his profile. The more I read the more I like him. :frown:

We do shockingly have stuff in common, so we're always finding stuff to chat about. The age thing really freaks me out but...(yes, even more freakily) on his profile he says hes looking for a partner of 25yrs old+ :eek:

I do not envisage dating this man (I am rational enough to see it would be nothing but a joke) but I can't stop thinking about him. :frown:

But this crush has got to stop! It is really affecting my ability to work and making me feel so insanely depressed. I have a boyfriend but we are moving apart soon and splitting up. I'm so confused.

What is the best thing to do? I do not work with this man anymore but he works in the same office as me and we bump into each other quite a lot.

Avoiding him is not an option, I just need some advice for making myself feel better and not obsessing over him.

Reply 1

Aquillyne

GET A GRIP FOR THE SAKE OF **EVERYTHING**. It's alright to admire people, but this will ruin you if you act on it. You're in desperate need for good company so you're throwing un-thought-out desires on him, but trust me, there are plenty, less salty fish in the sea.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

BTW I am not looking for a partner or boyfriend or whatever (in my life in general). I can date men my age easily.

I just need some advice to stop these bad thoughts. lol

Reply 3

You could just have sex with him?

Reply 4

stephanie2007

i have to say that not so long ago i had a huge crush on a guy that was 25 years older than me, like thinking about him constantly, dreaming about him like you said lol.

it went away but i was like that for at least a year, everytime i saw him it just made me worse. now when i look at it i dont know what i was thinking. i guess you cant really do much lol, just wait it out.

Reply 5

tetrahydrocannabinol.

3232

You could just have sex with him?

Ah, 3232, I've missed you :biggrin:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

mooncheese89

Maybe the reason you feel that way is you subconsciously want a man to look after you and be protective or something? Just a random stab in the dark but I recall reading something about that being the reason why some women 'fall' for men much older- cos they're looking for a 'father figure' almost, but not in a sick way so don't take it like that- just someone who they admire and want to be taken under their wing.

It seems like you're sorta thinking that yourself too, as you said you almost want to be like him- so maybe it's an admiration of his personality that's gone a little bit too far in your mind? Maybe it's something that will pass sooner or later- how long have you been feeling this way?

You're somewhat right because I have a history of dating older men (when I was in my late teens I dated men in their late twenties). But this case is extreme. I have only known the guy for a month and have been feeling this way for about 2 weeks. He is a genuienly lovely man, I was thinking maybe if I helped to set him up with someone his own age it would help in getting over my crazy fantasy. He really deserves someone nice, not some silly girl half his age. Plus it would help me stop thinking about him if I knew he was unattainable. :eek:

Anyways thanks for the non-judgemental posts.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

3232

You could just have sex with him?

Must not listen to 3232 must not listen to 3232 must not.... :eek:

Reply 8

DiscoPirate

I don't see what the issue is here?

I'm 17 and i'd happily bash the granny out of people like Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, and they're like 30 years older than me.

And Katie Walsh.....oooof #hump#

Wrap her up, i'll take her to go...

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

DiscoPirate

I don't see what the issue is here?

I'm 17 and i'd happily bash the granny out of people like Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, and they're like 30 years older than me.

And Katie Walsh.....oooof #hump#

Wrap her up, i'll take her to go...

The difference is that woman is hot hot hot and could pass for someone in their 30s. My crush looks like he is in his late forties. :biggrin:

Reply 10

Fleece

I'm actually with 3232 on this one. Have sex with him. It'll get it all out of your head I promise.

Reply 11

Clubber Lang

all these suggestions of have sex with him - how do u know he will want sex with you?

Reply 12

DiscoPirate

Fleece

I'm actually with 3232 on this one. Have sex with him. It'll get it all out of your head I promise.

Out your head and in your mouth. :lollypop:

Reply 13

PhilHaggis

I say go for it - go on a date with him! It will make his day for sure and you will probably end up having a good time too. Going on a date doesn't mean you have to sleep with him, but you will know better what you want to do after you have spent a few hours in his company.