Endless paranoia about people

Ok, this is gonna be a long post so please bare with me.

The problem is that i have this paranoia about myself, that i continually say the wrong thing, or will do. I'm constantly worrying and thinking that my friends (or even people i've just met) don't actually like me, and only talk to me because they have to. I mean, i'm on an internship at the moment at a finance firm, and there's 20 interns, a few of which i've gotten to know and go to lunch with. First few weeks i was really friendly with a lad who was working on the same floor as i am, and we were talking and hanging about together and even going to the canteen together when one of us wanted a drink (any excuse to not work). Now he's been moved, still on my floor but further away from me sitting wise and he's got a lot more things to do - but instead of thinking 'oh he doesn't want to come to the canteen with me because he's got a lot of work', which i know is probably the reason, when he doesn't want to come i suddenly start worrying that he doesn't like me, and i've said something that has upset and put him off me. Another example is my aunt and i go out shopping together quite a bit, and she's always sneaking me £5 or £10 to help with my uni savings, yet the last time she didn't do that, and instead of thinking 'she didn't have any money to give me or she just didn't want to this time' which i would be fine with, i constantly think i've done something to upset her without realising, like i haven't shown how grateful i am that she does that or something.

I've never found it easy to make friends, even at primary school, and some (if not most) of those that i've had have let me down one way or another in the past by, for example, bullying me in secondary school (which means they weren't actually my friends) or i've grown apart from (which i seem to do a lot of). But the thing is i'm starting university in a few weeks and i'm sick of thinking like this, i want to be able to accept that if someone doesn't want to come out one night it'll be because they're busy, rather than them wishing i hadn't asked them. I'm pretty sure i'm developing a social phobia (or have one already) because i dread every social situation i'm in for fear of upsetting someone and saying the wrong thing that'll lead them to not like me. I have no idea what to do.

Please help :frown:

Reply 1

k-lee C

you sound like me! i have really good friends, and i know that, along with 'aquaintences'. but, whenever talking to anyone, i am over-analysing everything. what they say, what i've said, what they say in response to what i've said, what it might all mean.

but you must try your damndest to fight it. now. before it does develop into a social phobia. you will have to accept that you will probably always be like this. but so long as you are fully aware that it is your worrying that is the problem and not YOU, then you will be ok. ;yes;

if you say the wrong thing and upset someone, it is very easy to apologise and, if they are a good person, they will accept it. but chances are you don't say the wrong thing all the time. and, if you DO put your foot in your mouth constantly (as i do :redface:

) or worry about something that turns out ok, then laugh it off, and others will too. :biggrin:

Reply 2

bonjovi22

If you go halls try and meet everyone and mingle with all you see, including freshers week. HAve a laugh in first few days of inductions/about the course lessons - if you have a laugh with lectures during class time alot of people in class will make conversations with you - alternatively you talk to them, sit in different places in the class, try to meet everyone and get to them taking your time. You will stop being paranoid and have bad negative thoughts if you are doing positive things - dont think on it, act on it! Been there before but was on different circumstances, trust me, alot of people in your class/halls go through the same thing/have done - those who are nice will accept it and be helpful friends, some wont, thats life mate.