Clingy, weird and lonely "friend" who I don't like either.

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    Hi everyone. I'm MaSharKo and this is my first time on here asking a question, so bear with me.

    I have this "friend" at school; let's call him Thomas for example.

    I have lots of friends who really care about me, we share lots of things in common and we have been friends since the middle of year 7, and now we are all in year 10. However, there is this guy called Thomas who is the typical guy who gets bullied at school. He plays with Pokemon cards, he is really spotty, not into sport and socially unaware of everything. Basically, those "nerd" characters in cartoons set in schools.

    At lunchtimes and breaktimes, he used to hang out with a group of people inside the canteen who all played card games with each other. Stuff like Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon, so obviously from the very beginning he was an easy target for bullies. Not that I am saying that he is wrong for playing those games, I just think it's really childish. Anyway, his group of friends recently stopped playing that card games, and as a result they started hanging out with new people. This left Thomas, who could never really make friends.

    Two weeks ago, I saw him stand outside at lunchtime, looking really lonely. I invited him to sit with my friends and I, which he gladly accepted. None of my friends like him, some even bully him, and frankly I blame some of Thomas's social problems on them. However... I am becoming like them too.

    Ever since I invited him to sit with me, he won't leave me alone. He asks me really awkward questions, like "Are we friends?" all the time. One time, I avoided him throughout the day and at the end of lunchtime he found me, came up to me and said "Oh, I didn't see you all day - did you miss me?"

    At that point, I knew I had a problem.

    You see, out all of my friends, I'm the kindest. My friends laugh at Thomas, while I always tried to be nice to him, but now he acts like we are best friends. He tries to walk home with me, he follows me around school, he tries to start random conversations with me for no reason, and worst of all he doesn't understand personal space!

    He has a really annoying habit of physically touching me on the arm and shoulder. Sometimes he will come up behind me and put his hand around my neck and slouch on me! I don't let my normal friends do that to me, never mind him! At first, I ignored this, and then brought up the problem with my friends. They say they are all noticing his habit and are making jokes about it, saying how he is a "loner" with no friends. But I am no better either, as I also make jokes about him now. I always try to treat others how I want to be treated, but Thomas is so unbelievable annoying and weird!

    Anyone have any solutions on how to distance my self away from this person? He is really, really, really CLINGY! He asked one of my really close friends this:
    "Do you think me and MaSharko(Well, not MaSharKo, but my real name) are best friends?"
    He is so awkward, he has NO social skill and follows me around like a dog!
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    Your friends sound like horrible people. If he has no friends why not try to be friends? Instead of mocking him and bullying him... think your friends need a bit of talking to.
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    (Original post by MaSharKo)
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    First of all I think that you are a very good person for making an effort to include this socially despised person in your group and to be kind to him instead of bullying him like your friends do. It's a lovely thing for you to do and I don't think anybody will have any problem with that

    Now, the lad in question might have a disability such as autism in which case he won't understand what he's doing is socially unacceptable. Have you tried talking to him about it? He won't pick up subtle clues like body language and tone if he has autism; you will have to tell him
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    The reason he has no social skills is because of what he's been through.He wants a proper friend,someone that will care for him and accept him as he is.Why don't u still be friends with him but talk to him about him touching u and etc and tell him u need ur personal space...But please don't be rude to him bc no one deserves to be treated like that
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    You guys are so mean, wow. Surely, if he has no friends .. You should be helping him rather than making fun of him. He may have a disability, have you thought about that?
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    (Original post by UWS)
    Your friends sound like horrible people. If he has no friends why not try to be friends? Instead of mocking him and bullying him... think your friends need a bit of talking to.
    I agree, I tell them not too, but they just laugh and make a joke of it. I really like my friends, the ones I hang out with at school, since we share so much in common. On the other hand, Thomas... we don't share anything in common. I try to start little chats with him sometimes when he finds me, but it's just really awkward. The thing is, none of my friends (Apart from one boy, but I got into an argument with him for it) directly bullies Thomas. We all speak behind his back, including me because he is really frustrating me. He hangs out with us now, and it is just really awkward. He is just "there", not included in anything. He tries to make jokes, nobody laughs. We make jokes, he laughs too loud and it's obvious he doesn't understand!
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    he sounds like Fregely from Diary of a Wimpy Kid lol
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Now, the lad in question might have a disability such as autism in which case he won't understand what he's doing is socially unacceptable. Have you tried talking to him about it? He won't pick up subtle clues like body language and tone if he has autism; you will have to tell him
    Thanks, for the reply.
    At first, I tried to be really subtle, like moving away when he touches me, as if I'm distracted by something. But that didn't work.
    Then I physically moved away from him, and laughed it off as a joke. But that didn't work either.
    Yesterday I told him, directly to his face, not to touch me. He said "Okay, I'll stop touching you", but just today when I was leaving school, he came up to me, touched my shoulder in a very uncomfortable way and said "Bye Masharko!"
    I don't think he has Autism. Usually I can tell if someone has a mental condition like that - he just seems naturally bad at making friends.
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    (Original post by MaSharKo)
    Thanks, for the reply.
    At first, I tried to be really subtle, like moving away when he touches me, as if I'm distracted by something. But that didn't work.
    Then I physically moved away from him, and laughed it off as a joke. But that didn't work either.
    Yesterday I told him, directly to his face, not to touch me. He said "Okay, I'll stop touching you", but just today when I was leaving school, he came up to me, touched my shoulder in a very uncomfortable way and said "Bye Masharko!"
    I don't think he has Autism. Usually I can tell if someone has a mental condition like that - he just seems naturally bad at making friends.
    Autism isn't a mental condition; it's a neurological disorder. Be aware that there is a different but similar disorder called aspergers which is kind of like autism but not as severe so you wouldn't always be able to tell if someone did have this kind of condition.

    Keep telling him plainly what he's doing wrong; he might just have bad memory and it'll take him a while to learn
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    (Original post by mkap)
    he sounds like Fregely from Diary of a Wimpy Kid lol
    Yes, that's exactly how I would describe him.

    (Original post by Ishax)
    You guys are so mean, wow. Surely, if he has no friends .. You should be helping him rather than making fun of him. He may have a disability, have you thought about that?

    Ps, I depise bullies and they all should be expelled from school.
    I know what you mean - I'd hate to be in his position, but I am almost certain he doesn't have any disability. He just lacks a huge understanding of personal space. There is a boy and a girl who are dating that I am friends with, and sometimes they hug and speak to each other alone, and then Thomas comes along and tries to join in the conversation. My friends laugh, while trying to hide their laughter from Thomas.
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Autism isn't a mental condition; it's a neurological disorder. Be aware that there is a different but similar disorder called aspergers which is kind of like autism but not as severe so you wouldn't always be able to tell if someone did have this kind of condition.

    Keep telling him plainly what he's doing wrong; he might just have bad memory and it'll take him a while to learn
    Alright, thanks. I'll keep reminding him. And he might has Aspergers, but I don't want to ask him in case he doesn't.
    But on the other hand, I have a friend who has ADHD, Bipolar, and something else that I couldn't remember, who is actually very funny to be around. He is quite eccentric, very hyper and loud, but for some reason we all like him how he is and it doesn't bother us (Most of the time.)
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    (Original post by MaSharKo)
    Hi everyone. I'm MaSharKo and this is my first time on here asking a question, so bear with me.

    I have this "friend" at school; let's call him Thomas for example.

    I have lots of friends who really care about me, we share lots of things in common and we have been friends since the middle of year 7, and now we are all in year 10. However, there is this guy called Thomas who is the typical guy who gets bullied at school. He plays with Pokemon cards, he is really spotty, not into sport and socially unaware of everything. Basically, those "nerd" characters in cartoons set in schools.

    At lunchtimes and breaktimes, he used to hang out with a group of people inside the canteen who all played card games with each other. Stuff like Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokemon, so obviously from the very beginning he was an easy target for bullies. Not that I am saying that he is wrong for playing those games, I just think it's really childish. Anyway, his group of friends recently stopped playing that card games, and as a result they started hanging out with new people. This left Thomas, who could never really make friends.

    Two weeks ago, I saw him stand outside at lunchtime, looking really lonely. I invited him to sit with my friends and I, which he gladly accepted. None of my friends like him, some even bully him, and frankly I blame some of Thomas's social problems on them. However... I am becoming like them too.

    Ever since I invited him to sit with me, he won't leave me alone. He asks me really awkward questions, like "Are we friends?" all the time. One time, I avoided him throughout the day and at the end of lunchtime he found me, came up to me and said "Oh, I didn't see you all day - did you miss me?"

    At that point, I knew I had a problem.

    You see, out all of my friends, I'm the kindest. My friends laugh at Thomas, while I always tried to be nice to him, but now he acts like we are best friends. He tries to walk home with me, he follows me around school, he tries to start random conversations with me for no reason, and worst of all he doesn't understand personal space!

    He has a really annoying habit of physically touching me on the arm and shoulder. Sometimes he will come up behind me and put his hand around my neck and slouch on me! I don't let my normal friends do that to me, never mind him! At first, I ignored this, and then brought up the problem with my friends. They say they are all noticing his habit and are making jokes about it, saying how he is a "loner" with no friends. But I am no better either, as I also make jokes about him now. I always try to treat others how I want to be treated, but Thomas is so unbelievable annoying and weird!

    Anyone have any solutions on how to distance my self away from this person? He is really, really, really CLINGY! He asked one of my really close friends this:
    "Do you think me and MaSharko(Well, not MaSharKo, but my real name) are best friends?"
    He is so awkward, he has NO social skill and follows me around like a dog!
    Why does him having spots have anything to do with this? and how can you blame his 'social problems' he obviously can't help it. I would love to spend 10 minutes with people like you, Grow up.
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    -things which happened
    -this
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    (Original post by SCIENCE :D)
    Why does him having spots have anything to do with this? and how can you blame his 'social problems' he obviously can't help it. I would love to spend 10 minutes with people like you, Grow up.
    You clearly do not understand, let me rephrase this for you.
    At my school, as any school, there are people who like to be mean to others to boost their self confidence.
    Those people are called bullies.

    Are you still with me? Okay, here is the hard bit.


    A easy way to be a bully is to make fun of someones physical appearance.
    Bullies at my school make fun of Thomas's physical appearance.

    I blame his social problems, because if he didn't have any, I would never post this thread.
    I never blamed Thomas for having these social problems.

    It is the same as how cancer can be blamed for killing thousands of people, but the people who HAVE cancer are the not killers. Maybe you should attempt to read next time?
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    (Original post by MaSharKo)
    You clearly do not understand, let me rephrase this for you.
    At my school, as any school, there are people who like to be mean to others to boost their self confidence.
    Those people are called bullies.

    Are you still with me? Okay, here is the hard bit.


    A easy way to be a bully is to make fun of someones physical appearance.
    Bullies at my school make fun of Thomas's physical appearance.

    I blame his social problems, because if he didn't have any, I would never post this thread.
    I never blamed Thomas for having these social problems.

    It is the same as how cancer can be blamed for killing thousands of people, but the people who HAVE cancer are the not killers. Maybe you should attempt to read next time?
    Wooow I want to rip your head off.
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    (Original post by HannaMarin)
    -things which happened
    -this
    Erm, what?
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    (Original post by SCIENCE :D)
    Wooow I want to rip your head off.
    And I want world peace, and the teachings of literature to be available to everyone, like you.
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    (Original post by MaSharKo)
    And I want world peace, and the teachings of literature to be available to everyone, like you.
    You sound like a bully to me, Bullies deserve to be beaten.
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    I used to be that kid for a while. Life turned out awesome for me though To be honest, I would not have learned social appropriateness if it wasn't for my best friend who taught me stuff like "not to follow people around" and so on.
    Be a nice person and talk to him about it, not us. Teach him that what he's doing is not socially appropriate and will only alienate him. Teach him how to be cool. I am sure coming out of it you will see that not only you've taught him something, but also your own personal skills will have improved by facing this situation and not running away from it. If you still can't face it, try speaking to a teacher who could possibly talk to him.
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    You should seriously consider either leaving your mates or giving them a good talking to. They sound like douchebags.
 
 
 
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