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    Sorry this is a long one...

    I am pretty sure I am depressed. My mood's been persistently low for the past couple of months. I'm either not sleeping well or oversleeping (obvs both these things impact on each other), I'm not eating properly because I have little appetite and lack the energy to shop or cook. I find my mood so low at least a few days a week that I spend the whole day trying not to cry-case in point, a text from a friend today made me start crying in the launderette simply because she asked how I was.

    I have been up and down for a while since struggling to get onto a phd programme and not having any luck trying to get a proper job and have been mostly working part time the last year to make ends meet. I think it has been getting steadily worse since May after I had a few awful weeks (got my laptop stolen and lost a load of stuff off it, lost the job I was enjoying, got rejected for yet another phd studentship). Started a new job but despite being the same role in the same company, just a different location, it's just not me at all-I'm bored to tears and the team's so big I'm not getting to know anyone that well. Went on holiday with my sister in July thinking it would cheer me up but I only came back more miserable.

    So I know why I'm depressed; I'm lacking direction and stuck in a rut I don't seem to be able to get out of, and I'm mind-numbingly bored and under-stimulated. Every now and then I get a surge of 'right, I'm going to make all these positive changes' but I lack the energy to follow through. I've been very aware of my low mood since coming back from holiday so have been trying to focus on self care (getting some exercise, taking up some old hobbies, trying to keep busy and arrange stuff with friends-although it always seems like they're too busy to spend time with me) but anything that makes me feel better is short lived. It also feels like all the little things are determined to go wrong and get in the way of me feeling positive about anything (this week, I got my bike stolen and missed out on where I wanted to moor my boat over the winter and am now frozen with indecision, everything feels like the wrong choice).

    I'm managing on not so low days to put some effort into applying for jobs to change what I'm doing because I think that's what would help the most, but its the same-I allow myself to start feeling more positive about things and then each knock-back sends me back into feeling really low again (and despite the effort nothing is working out).

    Just don't know what else I can do. Not sure it's worth seeing GP, what are they going to suggest other than stuff I'm already trying to do? Anyone got any advice?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry this is a long one...

    I am pretty sure I am depressed. My mood's been persistently low for the past couple of months. I'm either not sleeping well or oversleeping (obvs both these things impact on each other), I'm not eating properly because I have little appetite and lack the energy to shop or cook. I find my mood so low at least a few days a week that I spend the whole day trying not to cry-case in point, a text from a friend today made me start crying in the launderette simply because she asked how I was.

    I have been up and down for a while since struggling to get onto a phd programme and not having any luck trying to get a proper job and have been mostly working part time the last year to make ends meet. I think it has been getting steadily worse since May after I had a few awful weeks (got my laptop stolen and lost a load of stuff off it, lost the job I was enjoying, got rejected for yet another phd studentship). Started a new job but despite being the same role in the same company, just a different location, it's just not me at all-I'm bored to tears and the team's so big I'm not getting to know anyone that well. Went on holiday with my sister in July thinking it would cheer me up but I only came back more miserable.

    So I know why I'm depressed; I'm lacking direction and stuck in a rut I don't seem to be able to get out of, and I'm mind-numbingly bored and under-stimulated. Every now and then I get a surge of 'right, I'm going to make all these positive changes' but I lack the energy to follow through. I've been very aware of my low mood since coming back from holiday so have been trying to focus on self care (getting some exercise, taking up some old hobbies, trying to keep busy and arrange stuff with friends-although it always seems like they're too busy to spend time with me) but anything that makes me feel better is short lived. It also feels like all the little things are determined to go wrong and get in the way of me feeling positive about anything (this week, I got my bike stolen and missed out on where I wanted to moor my boat over the winter and am now frozen with indecision, everything feels like the wrong choice).

    I'm managing on not so low days to put some effort into applying for jobs to change what I'm doing because I think that's what would help the most, but its the same-I allow myself to start feeling more positive about things and then each knock-back sends me back into feeling really low again (and despite the effort nothing is working out).

    Just don't know what else I can do. Not sure it's worth seeing GP, what are they going to suggest other than stuff I'm already trying to do? Anyone got any advice?
    Ok I would say you have some form of depression. Sorry to hear it and things sound pretty pants. One thing after another and things have ground you down. It's hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

    Its not an easy rut to get out of I would suggest.

    1. Going to see your GP. he will either suggest some medication or you cna go the therapist route. What works for one person doesnt work for another, so you have to experiemnt for what best fits.
    2. Exercise as you said, helps lift stress, so you should do some of that every day even if its just walking for 30 mins. It gets you out of the house
    3. Make sure you eat properly and not just junk.
    4. Take it one day at a time. You seem ok on the analysis side of things in seeing some of the things going wrong and how they interconnect, its importnat to see the big picture to make an action plam.
    5. Take it one day at a time and agree to do 2 positive things, then 3 then 4 each day. It might be soemthing small like phoning a friend, going shopping or looking for a job for 10 minutes, but the idea is to keep building.
    6. Look after yourself and dont beat yourself up. That means understand what makes you feel good, watch ood TV, read books, listen to music. Dont miss out socialising and talking to people in person.
    7. You have a job so save money. Money gives you options. You cna save enough for books or equipment you might need for uni or in your case thinsg you have to replace.
    8. Keep going. If you make each day more manageable it builds. If you keep creating good moments and opportunities for yourself then eventually one of them will pay off and things will change for the better if you keep at it. Its hard, but you seem to have your health, and the intelligence, so you just need to create the opportunities that will help you move forward.
    Good luck.
 
 
 
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