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Live with boyfriend or stay in halls?
Hi, I'll try and make this as brief as possible.
I'm 21 and I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months and I love him to bits. I met him at college whilst doing an access course (away from home) and for the last 4 months I've practically been living at his house anyway. I'm due to start uni in october and my boyfriend wants me to move in to his house for the first year and his parents are totally happy with the idea (they are hardly ever in the house and we get along well). Because i'm at Uni in London, it would save me an awful lot of money living with him as halls are at least £95 a week and instead I could just get the train to uni everyday which would cost about £20 a week. And also it would mean I'd get to see him more than I would in halls. I'm just worried that if I don't live in halls for my first year it might mean I don't make many friends and I'd miss out on the social side of things. On the plus side I'd be less likely to get distracted spending all my time boozing and actually get on with my work when I get back from Uni at the end of the day. I do really want to stay with my boyfriend but there is a part of me that thinks I might be missing out. I've spoken to him about all this and he says I'm under no pressure to stay with him and he just wants whatever I want.
I was just wondering if anyone on here has gone to a local Uni and stayed at home or just not lived in halls for their first year? And if so could you tell me how you found fitting in amongst people who do live in halls. Any thoughts or experiences would be appreciated.
Thanks alot.
I'm 21 and I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months and I love him to bits. I met him at college whilst doing an access course (away from home) and for the last 4 months I've practically been living at his house anyway. I'm due to start uni in october and my boyfriend wants me to move in to his house for the first year and his parents are totally happy with the idea (they are hardly ever in the house and we get along well). Because i'm at Uni in London, it would save me an awful lot of money living with him as halls are at least £95 a week and instead I could just get the train to uni everyday which would cost about £20 a week. And also it would mean I'd get to see him more than I would in halls. I'm just worried that if I don't live in halls for my first year it might mean I don't make many friends and I'd miss out on the social side of things. On the plus side I'd be less likely to get distracted spending all my time boozing and actually get on with my work when I get back from Uni at the end of the day. I do really want to stay with my boyfriend but there is a part of me that thinks I might be missing out. I've spoken to him about all this and he says I'm under no pressure to stay with him and he just wants whatever I want.
I was just wondering if anyone on here has gone to a local Uni and stayed at home or just not lived in halls for their first year? And if so could you tell me how you found fitting in amongst people who do live in halls. Any thoughts or experiences would be appreciated.
Thanks alot.
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I'd definitely go with halls.
4 months really isn't that long, and living with your boyfriend for the first year will most likely limit your social life and I think you'll end up feeling like you've missed out. Also, you've gotta consider what'll happen if you break up in the next year. Even if you can't see it happening now, things can change and it'd be a little naive to assume you'll still be together next year, in my opinion.
4 months really isn't that long, and living with your boyfriend for the first year will most likely limit your social life and I think you'll end up feeling like you've missed out. Also, you've gotta consider what'll happen if you break up in the next year. Even if you can't see it happening now, things can change and it'd be a little naive to assume you'll still be together next year, in my opinion.
Halls hands down. For the reasons outlined above.
Yup - I agree with Kate too
If it is meant to be with your boyf, you will stay together if you move into halls. In a practical sense it makes sense to stay at his house, but you need to make friends at uni and establish your own identity and the first year is the easiest time to do this.
Hopefully your boyfriend will understand and not take it personally.
Hopefully your boyfriend will understand and not take it personally.
dans
You've been with him for four months? Is it serious? Cos what if it splits up half way through the first year in uni and then you have to integrate with already formed friendship groups? Sorry to sound pessimistic, but...
I know four months doesn't sound long but we've literally been with eachother everyday (a lot of the time 24 hours a day) since we met so we've seen eachother a lot more than most couples and so it feels like we've been together a lot longer. I got out of a three year relationship two years ago and I never once felt the way I do now about my ex.
Thanks for all the advice everyone, I shall be having a good long think.
How long's the commute? Are there night buses back to where you would be living? You can be perfectly happy out of halls and make friends with people from your course and stuff, I know people who have done perfectly well like that. But it's handy if you live somewhere accessible and can join in with everyone's nightlife.
Halls - make new friends, socialise, once in a lifetime experience.
Boyfriend - miss out on social side, and if you split up with your bf then you'll have no friends and wish you went in halls in the first place.
Common sense really!
Boyfriend - miss out on social side, and if you split up with your bf then you'll have no friends and wish you went in halls in the first place.
Common sense really!
Don't know which uni yu're going to, but if you do split up and regret not being in halls, they might well offer you a place there for your second year...
People rave about life in halls - I didn't think it was that amazing and I made much better friends with people on my course than with people in my halls - my course-mates and I already had much more in common because we did the same subject. The best thing about my halls was their unbeatable location and the stuff I could do because of that (I could walk home from loads of really central places, didn't have to worry about tubes and buses).
People rave about life in halls - I didn't think it was that amazing and I made much better friends with people on my course than with people in my halls - my course-mates and I already had much more in common because we did the same subject. The best thing about my halls was their unbeatable location and the stuff I could do because of that (I could walk home from loads of really central places, didn't have to worry about tubes and buses).
personally im staying in halls for first year and then move in with my boyfriend. that way meet new people and as it is a new-ish relationship you don't want to be with each other all day as this could ruin relationship
Move into halls! 4 months is nothing to base anything on! I mean, what happens if u break up? that will ruin your first year at university!
Your still young, you need your own freedom, independence!
Your still young, you need your own freedom, independence!
I would go to halls, 4 months is far too soon to move in together.
It depends, is money a huge issue for you? Will staying in halls financially devastate you? so much so you can't socialise anyway? If the answer is yes, there is nothing worse than having to say in whilst your mates all go out, better to be with your boyfriend, and go out together or with friends and have spare cash.
I stayed in halls first year, had a rubbish year, but my second year in private housing was the best. I had lots of uni friends who lived at home, they didn't miss out on the social side, there was even a student society for home based students! If you feel the need to do halls, then do it, but it won't ruin Uni for you if you miss out!
I stayed in halls first year, had a rubbish year, but my second year in private housing was the best. I had lots of uni friends who lived at home, they didn't miss out on the social side, there was even a student society for home based students! If you feel the need to do halls, then do it, but it won't ruin Uni for you if you miss out!
natsing
It depends, is money a huge issue for you? Will staying in halls financially devastate you? !
Maintence loan and work is far more appealing then living with someone in a relationship that may not last.
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