Struggling with relationships

    • Thread Starter

    I used to have hopes about being with someone who will make me happy. But, over the years, I have ended up with people who are not ready to be in a relationship meaning that we always break up as a result. Nothing ever seems to last.

    In terms of getting to know people, I have major anxiety and yesterday I had an awful experience during my presentation in university. As I was delivering my presentation, I messed up on a few words and as I continued a group of people in front of me was laughing and being disrespectful. Eventually, I stopped what I said and just told the group members to move onto the next thing. I didn't stay till the end of the lesson, because I felt really embarrassed and upset that these adults are so immature and have not grown up. I also decided to leave the class group chat, because I did not see my purpose of being in it.

    Building relationships with people has been so hard for me. Although I am a nice person with a good sense of humour, I find it hard to find people who are not jerks.

    What should I do?

    Are you getting any help with your anxiety?

    More context needed e.g. give us some examples of these failed relationship attempts, the circumstances in which they formed, how you behaved on early dates etc. Some related advice guys (1, 2, 3) and girls (1)

    I used to be just like you.

    I've started approaching women, however, after so many years, the first time was in London and the first 9 attempts the conversation did not go anywhere. I also did some a year ago to no avail.

    I recently just two weeks ago approached 9 women, the first two ignored me, the third one said "please don't talk to me" and the next two were into me, holding the conversation, the next one gave a excuse saying "I have to go to work".

    Fortunately, the next two were interested in me, stayed and answered my questions, the reasons why I didn't end up with a number because I was not witty, quick enough to say something witty back.

    It's all down to approaching and slowing it down, approach them and say "I just saw you and just had to meet you" in a jovial way, then transition with questions, observe, make a comment, instigate and play on the words when she answers back to your question.

    The worst thing that is going to happen when approaching a women is he she pulls an angry face or tells you "to get lost", you will get these women, even the most successful men with women will get ignored.

    The more you approach, the closer to success to a number or date you will be, it took me around 16 approaches to get a girl to hold a conversation.

    Wearing good, well fitting clothes, grooming well, going to the gym will help a lot.

    You should see a therapist to deal with your anxieties, they will help you, they helped me. Have friends, be friends with more females and this will boost your confidence.

    You should try approaching as describe above, join clubs out of interest, meet women at uni, join speed dating, online dating.
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Updated: October 8, 2016
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