My Muslim Boyfriend Who I Want To Marry

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    So I met this boy and we fell in love after about 2 years of us being friends we dated for 2 years and now we decided that it was best to end our relationship. We're still friends and in love but this is all really hard for us to deal with because we expected to spend the rest of our lives together. Honestly I don't see myself with anyone else. I was born Christian but when I went to live with my mum I stopped practising and I just realised that I felt forced into it. I just wanted to be free to learn about other religions before being forced into one like that. My older sister has converted to Islam and my step dad is also Muslim so that is what influenced me to learn more about Islam before I actually met this boy. I am willing to convert and be committed to Islam and my boyfriend knew that it was going to happen. The problem is he wasn't allowed to date. His mum found out about us through his sister because he fell asleep on his phone whilst texting me one day. Also in the past I think we had been tagged in a photo together and she popped up asking if I dated her brother and that she was just looking out for him but I lied and said no. I feel so bad and I want their forgiveness but he is convinced that they will not accept me in the future to marry him. Parents have a big influence in people's lives especially if you're religious you need their blessing to marry someone in a way. I know that it's wrong for him to date. I don't want that, I want to marry him I don't want to mess around like children. I just feel **** because he has lost all hope for our relationship because his mum spoke to him about marriage the other day and she said he needs to marry someone suitable. He obviously doesn't think I am. We're also young so again she has more power over her son and what he does. I know it was best to end it now before we get even more hurt but I don't want to just leave it as that without even trying to fight for us. I wouldn't cause anything in his family I would just get his guidance in converting and apologise to them and tell them that all I want is the best for him. Sorry for making this so long but it means a lot to me and it's hard because he is so stubborn.
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    So whats your question?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I met this boy and we fell in love after about 2 years of us being friends we dated for 2 years and now we decided that it was best to end our relationship. We're still friends and in love but this is all really hard for us to deal with because we expected to spend the rest of our lives together. Honestly I don't see myself with anyone else. I was born Christian but when I went to live with my mum I stopped practising and I just realised that I felt forced into it. I just wanted to be free to learn about other religions before being forced into one like that. My older sister has converted to Islam and my step dad is also Muslim so that is what influenced me to learn more about Islam before I actually met this boy. I am willing to convert and be committed to Islam and my boyfriend knew that it was going to happen. The problem is he wasn't allowed to date. His mum found out about us through his sister because he fell asleep on his phone whilst texting me one day. Also in the past I think we had been tagged in a photo together and she popped up asking if I dated her brother and that she was just looking out for him but I lied and said no. I feel so bad and I want their forgiveness but he is convinced that they will not accept me in the future to marry him. Parents have a big influence in people's lives especially if you're religious you need their blessing to marry someone in a way. I know that it's wrong for him to date. I don't want that, I want to marry him I don't want to mess around like children. I just feel **** because he has lost all hope for our relationship because his mum spoke to him about marriage the other day and she said he needs to marry someone suitable. He obviously doesn't think I am. We're also young so again she has more power over her son and what he does. I know it was best to end it now before we get even more hurt but I don't want to just leave it as that without even trying to fight for us. I wouldn't cause anything in his family I would just get his guidance in converting and apologise to them and tell them that all I want is the best for him. Sorry for making this so long but it means a lot to me and it's hard because he is so stubborn.
    How old are you and whats your point?
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    I know plenty of people who are married to Muslims whilst not being Muslim themselves. Some of the combos aren't what you'd expect like a sikh woman and Muslim guy, I also know some Christian guys married to Muslim women and Muslim men married to Christian women. So the fact a Muslim can't marry a Christian is ruled out.

    Now do you know what denomination he is associated to? Is he Sunni, Shia, Ahmadi and so on? Some denominations have procedures you need to follow when two people from different religions get married whilst other denominations let you do what you want.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Desi_Scotsman)
    So whats your question?
    Sorry the rest got cut off but my question is can this work out? If I was to become a better person by apologising because it looks like I have led him astray, etc
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Applepiex3)
    I know plenty of people who are married to Muslims whilst not being Muslim themselves. Some of the combos aren't what you'd expect like a sikh woman and Muslim guy, I also know some Christian guys married to Muslim women and Muslim men married to Christian women. So the fact a Muslim can't marry a Christian is ruled out.

    Now do you know what denomination he is associated to? Is he Sunni, Shia, Ahmadi and so on? Some denominations have procedures you need to follow when two people from different religions get married whilst other denominations let you do what you want.
    He's a Sunni Muslim, do they have certain procedures?
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    How old are you and whats your point?
    My point is that will it work out? We come from really similar cultures as we are both East African. I am also half white though I don't think culture will be a problem. We are both 17 so obviously we can't just go and do what we want. I don't want to disrespect our parents or his religion...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's a Sunni Muslim, do they have certain procedures?
    I don't think they do! When they are Sunni I think it goes down to culture.

    Sunni Muslims don't have one specific leader to lead them, I believe they make their own decisions. So the family might not have a problem accepting you though his relatives might find it a little strange. However, if this boys family accepts you then everyone will accept you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My point is that will it work out? We come from really similar cultures as we are both East African. I am also half white though I don't think culture will be a problem. We are both 17 so obviously we can't just go and do what we want. I don't want to disrespect our parents or his religion...
    I think its unlikely you will get married but not impossible.

    You are very young. You dont really know who you are and should take time to discover that. Most people have several partners before they get married and find someone they know they are compatible with.

    His family are against you, so you would have to win them over. Faith seems to be a big thing with them and his mother would have some problem seeing you as suitable. No idea what she is like.

    Also as you said he doesnt seem to be fighting to stay together and you should question just how importnat you are to him.

    My advice would be to stay friends.
    It will be ten times harder if its just you and he isnt bothered about getting married. It might give you pause for thought in how serious he is.
    You have your whole life ahead of you, so thinking someone is suitable now, might ahvbe a different result in 5 or 10 years time when you have more experience, know what you wnat and what makes you happy. he isnt a fully grown man yet and you will both change.

    Maybe in the future you will get together and he will be willing to go ahainsy his parents or his family will accpet you i cant say. In the meantime imo I would carry on dating and meeting people, there will be others out there who are differebt but just as suited. I undersand its hard to see from where you are now, but you change as you get older.
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    My advice would be look into islam. I am a muslim female and proud!. Pm if you would like to. What are you mostly worried about and why does he think you are not suitable for him??yet your still young and learning

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