Guys can anyone give me any advice??

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    Hello

    I suffered alot throughout my life, had a challenging and tough childhood and still is now. I dont have a secure family "network", like im the black sheep of the family and no one is there for me, i dont even have friends. And this has led me to be diagnosed as mute 3 years ago and its only in this recent year that i am slowly talking again.

    I fear i have depression and i struggle badly with punishing myself. Like i self harm alot of the time. Mainly when i cant take it any more and just want a distraction from my mental pain im feeling, so physical pain helps i guess in a way to distract that.

    I also punish myself alot for my weight, like im on diet, barely eat now and trying to lose weight but every time i stray of the diet, and eat what i see as too much or food with too high calories in, i will make myself sick.

    Im sorry for my rambling but i just wanted to know has anyone got any ways to cope or help with these problems i have?

    Any advice ??
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello

    I suffered alot throughout my life, had a challenging and tough childhood and still is now. I dont have a secure family "network", like im the black sheep of the family and no one is there for me, i dont even have friends. And this has led me to be diagnosed as mute 3 years ago and its only in this recent year that i am slowly talking again.

    I fear i have depression and i struggle badly with punishing myself. Like i self harm alot of the time. Mainly when i cant take it any more and just want a distraction from my mental pain im feeling, so physical pain helps i guess in a way to distract that.

    I also punish myself alot for my weight, like im on diet, barely eat now and trying to lose weight but every time i stray of the diet, and eat what i see as too much or food with too high calories in, i will make myself sick.

    Im sorry for my rambling but i just wanted to know has anyone got any ways to cope or help with these problems i have?

    Any advice ??
    I suggest you go see your doctor an talk about therapy options. If you are nervous to start with or have difficulty talking with people you don't know you can write things down and just pass them a note.
    I think that, especially if you don't have much support from family or friends, the safety network or a doctor and thrapist can be very important to recovery.
    There seems to be quite a bit going on with you and I think it could be really difficult for you to try to work on alone.

    If you're under 18 you may be sent to CAMHS which although it's a children's service will still treat you like an adult. That was my first stop since I was 17 when I started getting depression and it really kick started things and got me trusting of the therapy system. The best therapy for me was actually gropu even though i'm not a people person. I think we were all sorta in the same boat so it gave me an easy support network like friends would provide but with more understanding between us so easier to manage. I think it actually helped me make other friends too because I learned how to trust more.

    Check out mind.org for some good ino and advice on various mh stuff and sane/ nhs websites too. If you feel like you need somebody to talk things over with but don't like doing in in person, Sane has a mh forum and childline and samaritans both have an online/ email service where you can talk anonymously. TSR also has a mental health support society (MHSS) which you could check out.

    Remmember nomatter how alone you feel like you are there is support out there.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    I suggest you go see your doctor an talk about therapy options. If you are nervous to start with or have difficulty talking with people you don't know you can write things down and just pass them a note.
    I think that, especially if you don't have much support from family or friends, the safety network or a doctor and thrapist can be very important to recovery.
    There seems to be quite a bit going on with you and I think it could be really difficult for you to try to work on alone.

    If you're under 18 you may be sent to CAMHS which although it's a children's service will still treat you like an adult. That was my first stop since I was 17 when I started getting depression and it really kick started things and got me trusting of the therapy system. The best therapy for me was actually gropu even though i'm not a people person. I think we were all sorta in the same boat so it gave me an easy support network like friends would provide but with more understanding between us so easier to manage. I think it actually helped me make other friends too because I learned how to trust more.

    Check out mind.org for some good ino and advice on various mh stuff and sane/ nhs websites too. If you feel like you need somebody to talk things over with but don't like doing in in person, Sane has a mh forum and childline and samaritans both have an online/ email service where you can talk anonymously. TSR also has a mental health support society (MHSS) which you could check out.

    Remmember nomatter how alone you feel like you are there is support out there.
    Do you think seeing a doctor would help me ??

    I have tried the theory route, went to CAMSH for about a year, but it didnt help much because i felt that what ever i said to them they were gonna tell the people i live with about what i said because they did do that a few times with out my permission and that cause a massive argument at home which made me feel worse and worthless tbh.

    And really? wouldnt a group thing make you feel more nervous?

    And i will check them websites out, thank you.

    Hard to believe that though. But i know others go through horrible times like this.

    Thank you for the advice.
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    Definitely see a doctor. Also you need to explain your fears to CAMHS such as they might tell your family. Also if they tell your family maybe they will be more supportive?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think seeing a doctor would help me ??

    I have tried the theory route, went to CAMSH for about a year, but it didnt help much because i felt that what ever i said to them they were gonna tell the people i live with about what i said because they did do that a few times with out my permission and that cause a massive argument at home which made me feel worse and worthless tbh.

    And really? wouldnt a group thing make you feel more nervous?

    And i will check them websites out, thank you.

    Hard to believe that though. But i know others go through horrible times like this.

    Thank you for the advice.
    Yes I do. They were the first step in my recovery.

    If you are over 16 and not at serious risk they should not tell anybody. You can check all of that when you sign the paperwork and ask them about it. I don't think they should have done what they did and i'm sorry you had that bad experience but it is not always like that and if CAMHS is still a sore sopt for you you can try an "adult" therapist instead.

    I would have thought so too and it was kinda scary to start with, but I think being with other people actually helped me feel less targeted by the therapy and more trusting of everything. I don't think I liked being the full focus cos it made me feel crazy, but having everybody else there made me feel normal and more willing to open up.
    I actually had a bad experience with one of my therapists there but the whole group supported me so it turned a bitter moment that could have ended with me quitting into a moment of feeling included and liked.
    Different people respond better to different types of therapy and that's just my experience, but don't be afraid to try something that you wouldn't think of.

    I know how hard this sort of thing can be and how worthless it can make you feel, but it takes a lot of guts to start to confront it as you are so you should be proud of yourself for that. Recovery is a journey and this first step is showing that you have the courage and strenght to make it through that joureny
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by EnterNamehereplz)
    Definitely see a doctor. Also you need to explain your fears to CAMHS such as they might tell your family. Also if they tell your family maybe they will be more supportive?
    Do you think its the best opition?? and my family have stopped me going CAMHS now and i dont think my family would ever be supportive to me.
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    Well be honest to your doctor and your counsellor. How old are you btw?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think its the best opition?? and my family have stopped me going CAMHS now and i dont think my family would ever be supportive to me.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by EnterNamehereplz)
    Well be honest to your doctor and your counsellor. How old are you btw?
    I will try to. And im 17
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will try to. And im 17
    Ok first of all realise there are some good people in this world and this forum has helped so many people. I understand saying some things to the doctor may not be feasible but you need to think and try get out of your current cycle. I know it is easier said then done. Make sure you have a balanced diet,drink water and get enough sleep not excess either. How is your school life like? Do you have friends you could talk to? Are you aspiring to go to university apprenticeship what? Also why do your family not want you to see CAMHS? Do they know about your self-harm?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Yes I do. They were the first step in my recovery.

    If you are over 16 and not at serious risk they should not tell anybody. You can check all of that when you sign the paperwork and ask them about it. I don't think they should have done what they did and i'm sorry you had that bad experience but it is not always like that and if CAMHS is still a sore sopt for you you can try an "adult" therapist instead.

    I would have thought so too and it was kinda scary to start with, but I think being with other people actually helped me feel less targeted by the therapy and more trusting of everything. I don't think I liked being the full focus cos it made me feel crazy, but having everybody else there made me feel normal and more willing to open up.
    I actually had a bad experience with one of my therapists there but the whole group supported me so it turned a bitter moment that could have ended with me quitting into a moment of feeling included and liked.
    Different people respond better to different types of therapy and that's just my experience, but don't be afraid to try something that you wouldn't think of.

    I know how hard this sort of thing can be and how worthless it can make you feel, but it takes a lot of guts to start to confront it as you are so you should be proud of yourself for that. Recovery is a journey and this first step is showing that you have the courage and strenght to make it through that joureny
    Yea im over 16 and true they shouldnt of. And whats a "adult" therapist like??

    Oh i guess that might help who knows, and sorry to hear that happened to ya. And very true there.

    Should i really be proud though and maybe so.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yea im over 16 and true they shouldnt of. And whats a "adult" therapist like??

    Oh i guess that might help who knows, and sorry to hear that happened to ya. And very true there.

    Should i really be proud though and maybe so.
    An "adult" therapist is not a lot different to CAMHS really. You just go in and have a chat or maybe do some more structured activities. The main distinction is how you get refered and the fact they will often be individuals rather than part of a hospital or main buliding as CAMHS is since it provides multiple services.

    Yes you honestly should feel proud. You have pushed through some complex and difficult thought and admitted to yourself and others that you are struggling. That can be very difficult to do. You are also still trying despite negative experiences which can be very offputting. A brave attitude is deffinately something to be proud of
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by EnterNamehereplz)
    Ok first of all realise there are some good people in this world and this forum has helped so many people. I understand saying some things to the doctor may not be feasible but you need to think and try get out of your current cycle. I know it is easier said then done. Make sure you have a balanced diet,drink water and get enough sleep not excess either. How is your school life like? Do you have friends you could talk to? Are you aspiring to go to university apprenticeship what? Also why do your family not want you to see CAMHS? Do they know about your self-harm?

    Is there? and yea i saw it seems to help alot of people.

    Thank you for the advice. Tbh i only have one meal a day and its normal small and i never sleep well though. School life is okay and i dont have any friends i can talk to. And i do wanna maybe go uni but not sure what im gonna do yet. Family dont want me seeing CAMHS because they see e being more down in mood after i have seen CAMHS as a bad thing and dont understand that i will be down after talking about my problems. And they knew i self harm and publicly humiliated me in front of the whole family about it and but i told them i have stopped but i havnt and they havnt found out yet. But they dont know about me making myself sick though.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is there? and yea i saw it seems to help alot of people.

    Thank you for the advice. Tbh i only have one meal a day and its normal small and i never sleep well though. School life is okay and i dont have any friends i can talk to. And i do wanna maybe go uni but not sure what im gonna do yet. Family dont want me seeing CAMHS because they see e being more down in mood after i have seen CAMHS as a bad thing and dont understand that i will be down after talking about my problems. And they knew i self harm and publicly humiliated me in front of the whole family about it and but i told them i have stopped but i havnt and they havnt found out yet. But they dont know about me making myself sick though.
    what family background do you come from? Do you go out a lot? Would you say your parents care for you
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by EnterNamehereplz)
    what family background do you come from? Do you go out a lot? Would you say your parents care for you
    What ya mean by family background??

    I mainly only go out to school/ work or to walk the dog.

    And my mum does but my dad doesnt and i dont live with either of them
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    Just say you are going out with friends when you go to CAMHS. Family background as in Asian, British or British Asian etc. If you don't live with either how did they tell the whole family?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    An "adult" therapist is not a lot different to CAMHS really. You just go in and have a chat or maybe do some more structured activities. The main distinction is how you get refered and the fact they will often be individuals rather than part of a hospital or main buliding as CAMHS is since it provides multiple services.

    Yes you honestly should feel proud. You have pushed through some complex and difficult thought and admitted to yourself and others that you are struggling. That can be very difficult to do. You are also still trying despite negative experiences which can be very offputting. A brave attitude is deffinately something to be proud of
    Oh i see thanks for explaining. I will look into that.

    Aw it sure is and thank you for the kind words.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by EnterNamehereplz)
    Just say you are going out with friends when you go to CAMHS. Family background as in Asian, British or British Asian etc. If you don't live with either how did they tell the whole family?
    I have no friends so it wont work and i cant go CAMHS because they have a long waiting list. Oh i see,British. And they had a whole family meeting to discuss it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have no friends so it wont work and i cant go CAMHS because they have a long waiting list. Oh i see,British. And they had a whole family meeting to discuss it
    who do you live with? How is school life like? How are your grades? These things have an effect on mood.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by EnterNamehereplz)
    who do you live with? How is school life like? How are your grades? These things have an effect on mood.
    I live with my grandparents and school life is lonely but my grades are bad i think despite teacher say they are good.

    And i agree, to much upheaval i think.
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    I recommend you go talk to a doctor. You are now in AS or A2? Work on your grades. Go outside your comfort zone a bit and try make friends maybe go to the gym. I can see you want change which is a good sign. You are also seeking it I can see you doing very well. You also have a job which you should be proud. The thing about bad times is they go away . When you go to university you will have the time of your life. Just research what you enjoy get a little work experience. There is no rush. You can enjoy life.
 
 
 
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