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can someone please help me?

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    okay so during the 5 years at my secondary school a lot of **** happened to me and i self harmed and attempted suicide. but now i'm at college i feel like i cant move on from those tough 5 years without telling one of my old teachers. i had such great relationships with my teachers and i find it only fair that i tell them what happened during those 5 years but i need to know if its the right thing to do? like how would i bring it up because its a tough thing to bring up, would i just say to them "look i need to talk to you" or should i just leave it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    okay so during the 5 years at my secondary school a lot of **** happened to me and i self harmed and attempted suicide. but now i'm at college i feel like i cant move on from those tough 5 years without telling one of my old teachers. i had such great relationships with my teachers and i find it only fair that i tell them what happened during those 5 years but i need to know if its the right thing to do? like how would i bring it up because its a tough thing to bring up, would i just say to them "look i need to talk to you" or should i just leave it?
    I feel as though it may not be appropriate to just bring it up...remember they are your teachers, not your friend. If you're having a hard time and it is affecting your work then by all means tell them!
    Try and talk to someone at college like a counsellor?
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    If you had a great relationship like you said you did, they should be fine with you talking to them about your personal problems. Say you need to share something that had happened.
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    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    I feel as though it may not be appropriate to just bring it up...remember they are your teachers, not your friend. If you're having a hard time and it is affecting your work then by all means tell them!
    Try and talk to someone at college like a counsellor?
    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    I feel as though it may not be appropriate to just bring it up...remember they are your teachers, not your friend. If you're having a hard time and it is affecting your work then by all means tell them!
    Try and talk to someone at college like a counsellor?
    i know and respect the fact that their teachers but they aren't my teachers anymore? i thought about a college counselor but because its a new and fresh start for me (i'm the only one from my school there) and i dont want them to know my past because my past had nothing to do with my college, but it had something to do with school. sorry its just i really dont know what to do.
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    (Original post by Eternalflames)
    If you had a great relationship like you said you did, they should be fine with you talking to them about your personal problems. Say you need to share something that had happened.
    okay, thankyou for your help!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know and respect the fact that their teachers but they aren't my teachers anymore? i thought about a college counselor but because its a new and fresh start for me (i'm the only one from my school there) and i dont want them to know my past because my past had nothing to do with my college, but it had something to do with school. sorry its just i really dont know what to do.
    If I'm totally honest the fact they're no longer your teachers makes it even less appropriate. Do you not have anyone else to talk to, even a family member?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by A-LJLB)
    If I'm totally honest the fact they're no longer your teachers makes it even less appropriate. Do you not have anyone else to talk to, even a family member?
    why?? the thing is i don't want to talk to a family member about it because they'll tell all the other family members, for example if i told my parents then they'd tell my grandparents, and then they'd tell my aunties and uncles, etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    why?? the thing is i don't want to talk to a family member about it because they'll tell all the other family members, for example if i told my parents then they'd tell my grandparents, and then they'd tell my aunties and uncles, etc.
    Because they were your teachers, they will most likely find it uncomfortable than a young ex student is telling them their personal life as if they were a friend... I'm sorry but I really think you'd need to talk to someone else
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    I understand why you may feel you may need closure but just remember that people don't always react in the way you want.

    I emailed my ex-maths teacher a month or so ago explaining that all of my days off for the flu were in fact due to depression and that I was doing much better. But he ignored me. Thankfully I'm in such a place that it didn't bother me excessively but I would be wary of doing such a thing if you still feel vulnerable.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know and respect the fact that their teachers but they aren't my teachers anymore? i thought about a college counselor but because its a new and fresh start for me (i'm the only one from my school there) and i dont want them to know my past because my past had nothing to do with my college, but it had something to do with school. sorry its just i really dont know what to do.
    Your past, good or bad, is part of you and it won't go away, but you obviously need some help to deal with it.
    I agree with those who say it might not be appropriate for you to approach old teachers about it, simply because they were your teachers, and no matter how well you got along with them, there always has to be a boundary which neither student nor teacher should cross.
    In my experience, you may have issues somewhere down the line at college where things from the past may affect your college life, so you should ask for a counsellor at your college.
    I am 68 and still have issues from childhood which affect me. I have a counsellor at uni for support because these issues do sometimes affect my studies.
    It's horrible when you don't know what to do, but you don't want to take the risk of approaching old teachers and be ignored. That would hurt you even more, lovely. X
 
 
 
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Updated: October 11, 2016
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