26 years old, never had girlfriend or sex

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    #1

    As the title suggests, I am a 26-year-old guy who has never had a girlfriend or sex. I'm at a stage now where I would like this to change, but if I'm realistic it's very difficult to see how this will happen.

    As to why this aspect of life has passed me by so far, it's hard to say exactly. Firstly, I'm certainly not blessed with model good looks, but I wouldn't say I'm completely hideous either. I have my own flat, a reasonable job and I'd like to think I'm a fairly decent person in general and I'm passionate about my hobbies. I'm naturally a relatively quiet and introverted person but definitely not to the point of crippling shyness or anxiety or anything like that.

    I should point out that I don't perceive the notion of having a girlfriend to be some sort of 'holy grail' or answer to happiness. At the same time, though, I don't want to completely miss out on this aspect of life. I'm not interested in soppy nonsense about 'finding my soul mate' or securing a list of conquests a mile wide - I would simply like to find one girl who would be my girlfriend so I don't completely miss out on that side of life. If I'm honest, though, I really can't see how it's going to happen. When I think of some of the ways couples meet and my prospects in these areas, it hardly seems encouraging:

    - Social circle - for me, this is practically non-existent. I have a small number of close friends, but I rarely see them and am unlikely to meet girls through them.

    - Bars/clubs - not my scene at all. I don't drink alcohol, and this is perhaps a reason why I've generally feel completely out of place on the rare occasion I've been to nightclubs.

    - Online - I downloaded Tinder for two years and have not met up with any girl with whom I've matched in that time. Granted, this is partly due to not bothering with it too much, but even when there seems to be potential, it comes to nothing. Recently, for example, I matched with a girl who messaged me first and to my surprise it was looking promising and I suggested we go out for a drink to which she agreed enthusiastically. I told her to add me on Facebook so we could arrange it. Surprise surprise, no reply, no friend request, she unmatched me. What can you do?!

    The issue I have with the online scene as well is that it seems a bit impersonal and detached from reality as opposed to going out and meeting girls face-to-face, which brings me to the next potential method of meeting them:

    - Cold approach - essentially this involves going up to girls I've never met, with whom I have no social ties and outwith regular social conventions - for example, approaching them on the street or in a shopping centre as opposed to in a bar or club - and telling them I find them attractive, having a short conversation and asking them out. I've done this a few times this year - not trying any fancy 'pick up' routines or any of that and instead just being honest, genuine and straightforward, telling them I find them attractive in a way that is forward without being inappropriate and takes into account the somewhat random context. To my surprise, most of the girls I've approached have been very warm and receptive and I've enjoyed almost all of the interactions I've had. I enjoy doing this as there is a sense of accomplishment in pushing myself out of my comfort zone and the main benefit is that it hugely broadens the range of girls available to meet by not restricting myself to more conventional social contexts. The drawback is that the majority of approaches will result in rejection for a myriad of reasons; I have no fear of rejection as I know it's inevitable along the way and it's still much better than not approaching, but eventually I would like to see some tangible results. So far, I've approached seven girls, had six rejections and one girl who said yes when I asked her out then never accepted my Facebook friend request. I will keep doing this as it's exciting and enjoyable, but if I'm honest it's hard to shake the feeling that it's a bit of a wild goose chase. Realistically, the vast majority of girls I approach are not going to end up going on a date with me, and from the potential small number that might, what are the chances of it progressing beyond the first date? Pretty slim, I would say, given my lack of experience.

    So that's my situation. I'm not looking for sympathy - I don't feel sorry for myself and can actually have a laugh at my own expense with regard to how hopeless I am in this area - but rather advice on ways - if there are any - to improve the hopelessness of my situation. I await the troll replies, but if anyone out there can genuinely help it would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

    Finally, if any girls reading this feel particularly enamoured at the prospect of being with a 26-year-old virgin, feel free to get in touch. I should warn you, though, patience is a pre-requisite, as if things progress I won't have a clue what I'm doing.
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As the title suggests, I am a 26-year-old guy who has never had a girlfriend or sex. I'm at a stage now where I would like this to change, but if I'm realistic it's very difficult to see how this will happen.

    As to why this aspect of life has passed me by so far, it's hard to say exactly. Firstly, I'm certainly not blessed with model good looks, but I wouldn't say I'm completely hideous either. I have my own flat, a reasonable job and I'd like to think I'm a fairly decent person in general and I'm passionate about my hobbies. I'm naturally a relatively quiet and introverted person but definitely not to the point of crippling shyness or anxiety or anything like that.

    I should point out that I don't perceive the notion of having a girlfriend to be some sort of 'holy grail' or answer to happiness. At the same time, though, I don't want to completely miss out on this aspect of life. I'm not interested in soppy nonsense about 'finding my soul mate' or securing a list of conquests a mile wide - I would simply like to find one girl who would be my girlfriend so I don't completely miss out on that side of life. If I'm honest, though, I really can't see how it's going to happen. When I think of some of the ways couples meet and my prospects in these areas, it hardly seems encouraging:

    - Social circle - for me, this is practically non-existent. I have a small number of close friends, but I rarely see them and am unlikely to meet girls through them.

    - Bars/clubs - not my scene at all. I don't drink alcohol, and this is perhaps a reason why I've generally feel completely out of place on the rare occasion I've been to nightclubs.

    - Online - I downloaded Tinder for two years and have not met up with any girl with whom I've matched in that time. Granted, this is partly due to not bothering with it too much, but even when there seems to be potential, it comes to nothing. Recently, for example, I matched with a girl who messaged me first and to my surprise it was looking promising and I suggested we go out for a drink to which she agreed enthusiastically. I told her to add me on Facebook so we could arrange it. Surprise surprise, no reply, no friend request, she unmatched me. What can you do?!

    The issue I have with the online scene as well is that it seems a bit impersonal and detached from reality as opposed to going out and meeting girls face-to-face, which brings me to the next potential method of meeting them:

    - Cold approach - essentially this involves going up to girls I've never met, with whom I have no social ties and outwith regular social conventions - for example, approaching them on the street or in a shopping centre as opposed to in a bar or club - and telling them I find them attractive, having a short conversation and asking them out. I've done this a few times this year - not trying any fancy 'pick up' routines or any of that and instead just being honest, genuine and straightforward, telling them I find them attractive in a way that is forward without being inappropriate and takes into account the somewhat random context. To my surprise, most of the girls I've approached have been very warm and receptive and I've enjoyed almost all of the interactions I've had. I enjoy doing this as there is a sense of accomplishment in pushing myself out of my comfort zone and the main benefit is that it hugely broadens the range of girls available to meet by not restricting myself to more conventional social contexts. The drawback is that the majority of approaches will result in rejection for a myriad of reasons; I have no fear of rejection as I know it's inevitable along the way and it's still much better than not approaching, but eventually I would like to see some tangible results. So far, I've approached seven girls, had six rejections and one girl who said yes when I asked her out then never accepted my Facebook friend request. I will keep doing this as it's exciting and enjoyable, but if I'm honest it's hard to shake the feeling that it's a bit of a wild goose chase. Realistically, the vast majority of girls I approach are not going to end up going on a date with me, and from the potential small number that might, what are the chances of it progressing beyond the first date? Pretty slim, I would say, given my lack of experience.

    So that's my situation. I'm not looking for sympathy - I don't feel sorry for myself and can actually have a laugh at my own expense with regard to how hopeless I am in this area - but rather advice on ways - if there are any - to improve the hopelessness of my situation. I await the troll replies, but if anyone out there can genuinely help it would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

    Finally, if any girls reading this feel particularly enamoured at the prospect of being with a 26-year-old virgin, feel free to get in touch. I should warn you, though, patience is a pre-requisite, as if things progress I won't have a clue what I'm doing.

    You sound like my type of guy tbh, most guys i know just wanna get themselves drunk and waste money on booze and generally dont give a toss.

    My advice is to try and mingle with people and do social activity with friends to get you out there, also tinder from what i have heard is rubbish, so try using other dating sites.
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You sound like my type of guy tbh, most guys i know just wanna get themselves drunk and waste money on booze and generally dont give a toss.

    My advice is to try and mingle with people and do social activity with friends to get you out there, also tinder from what i have heard is rubbish, so try using other dating sites.
    Meant to sa: try and mingle with new people and do social activities to make new friend and to get you out there
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    You sound a little uptight. Maybe try loosening up a bit and really being yourself around people.
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    I'm pretty sure I would be in this exact same position 8 years from now:o:H
    Good to know there are more people like me.
    And good luck i'm sure the one girl u find will be worth the wait!
    Have a great life ahead!🙌🏼
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    Lighten up, relax, think of no outcome, just talk to them and have a conversation.

    I've started approaching women, however, after so many years, the first time was in London and the first 9 attempts the conversation did not go anywhere. I also did some a year ago to no avail.

    I recently just two weeks ago last saturday approached 9 women, the first two ignored me, the third one said "please don't talk to me" and the next two were into me, holding the conversation, the next one gave a excuse saying "I have to go to work".

    Fortunately, the next two were interested in me, stayed and answered my questions, the reasons why I didn't end up with a number because I was not witty, quick enough to say something witty back.

    It's all down to approaching and slowing it down, approach them and say "I just saw you and just had to meet you" in a jovial way, then transition with questions, observe, make a comment, instigate and play on the words when she answers back to your question.

    The more you approach, the more opportunities for success you will have.
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    Wow you sound identical to me! Except I drink lol. I obviously haven't got any answers but as long as your happy in yourself that's what counts. I know plently of ppl who have been dumped, cheated on ect so the grass isn't always greener bud.
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    Welllllllllllllllllllllll... you need to go whey they bishes at. They cant make your virginal meat stick non virginal if if they dont know you exist :bath:
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    Sound exactly like me, albeit I've had two girlfriends.

    Sometimes it just doesn't happen, sometimes it happens when we least expect it. As long as you work on improving on yourself, enjoying your life and putting yourself out there, the opportunity should eventually arise.

    It's a bit late for me to offer more in-depth advice, need sleep, so I'll check back tomorrow. But you're not alone mate.
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    Just keep on going & don't let your head go down! You seem like a nice, sensible fellow. So keep doing what you're doing & hopefully something will happen soon. Try & volunteer, join social groups etc in order to meet people. I've met a lot of my current social circle like that, & then just attending as many social events etc as I could & even organised some myself. You just have to create opportunities but putting yourself out there more & more, & staying positive & believing in yourself!
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As the title suggests, I am a 26-year-old guy who has never had a girlfriend or sex. I'm at a stage now where I would like this to change, but if I'm realistic it's very difficult to see how this will happen.

    As to why this aspect of life has passed me by so far, it's hard to say exactly. Firstly, I'm certainly not blessed with model good looks, but I wouldn't say I'm completely hideous either. I have my own flat, a reasonable job and I'd like to think I'm a fairly decent person in general and I'm passionate about my hobbies. I'm naturally a relatively quiet and introverted person but definitely not to the point of crippling shyness or anxiety or anything like that.

    I should point out that I don't perceive the notion of having a girlfriend to be some sort of 'holy grail' or answer to happiness. At the same time, though, I don't want to completely miss out on this aspect of life. I'm not interested in soppy nonsense about 'finding my soul mate' or securing a list of conquests a mile wide - I would simply like to find one girl who would be my girlfriend so I don't completely miss out on that side of life. If I'm honest, though, I really can't see how it's going to happen. When I think of some of the ways couples meet and my prospects in these areas, it hardly seems encouraging:

    - Social circle - for me, this is practically non-existent. I have a small number of close friends, but I rarely see them and am unlikely to meet girls through them.

    - Bars/clubs - not my scene at all. I don't drink alcohol, and this is perhaps a reason why I've generally feel completely out of place on the rare occasion I've been to nightclubs.

    - Online - I downloaded Tinder for two years and have not met up with any girl with whom I've matched in that time. Granted, this is partly due to not bothering with it too much, but even when there seems to be potential, it comes to nothing. Recently, for example, I matched with a girl who messaged me first and to my surprise it was looking promising and I suggested we go out for a drink to which she agreed enthusiastically. I told her to add me on Facebook so we could arrange it. Surprise surprise, no reply, no friend request, she unmatched me. What can you do?!

    The issue I have with the online scene as well is that it seems a bit impersonal and detached from reality as opposed to going out and meeting girls face-to-face, which brings me to the next potential method of meeting them:

    - Cold approach - essentially this involves going up to girls I've never met, with whom I have no social ties and outwith regular social conventions - for example, approaching them on the street or in a shopping centre as opposed to in a bar or club - and telling them I find them attractive, having a short conversation and asking them out. I've done this a few times this year - not trying any fancy 'pick up' routines or any of that and instead just being honest, genuine and straightforward, telling them I find them attractive in a way that is forward without being inappropriate and takes into account the somewhat random context. To my surprise, most of the girls I've approached have been very warm and receptive and I've enjoyed almost all of the interactions I've had. I enjoy doing this as there is a sense of accomplishment in pushing myself out of my comfort zone and the main benefit is that it hugely broadens the range of girls available to meet by not restricting myself to more conventional social contexts. The drawback is that the majority of approaches will result in rejection for a myriad of reasons; I have no fear of rejection as I know it's inevitable along the way and it's still much better than not approaching, but eventually I would like to see some tangible results. So far, I've approached seven girls, had six rejections and one girl who said yes when I asked her out then never accepted my Facebook friend request. I will keep doing this as it's exciting and enjoyable, but if I'm honest it's hard to shake the feeling that it's a bit of a wild goose chase. Realistically, the vast majority of girls I approach are not going to end up going on a date with me, and from the potential small number that might, what are the chances of it progressing beyond the first date? Pretty slim, I would say, given my lack of experience.

    So that's my situation. I'm not looking for sympathy - I don't feel sorry for myself and can actually have a laugh at my own expense with regard to how hopeless I am in this area - but rather advice on ways - if there are any - to improve the hopelessness of my situation. I await the troll replies, but if anyone out there can genuinely help it would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

    Finally, if any girls reading this feel particularly enamoured at the prospect of being with a 26-year-old virgin, feel free to get in touch. I should warn you, though, patience is a pre-requisite, as if things progress I won't have a clue what I'm doing.
    As a 25 year old never had a boyfriend straight virgin who seems to cross paths with many open and lonely guys on Tinder, I'd say as a guy you have a very good 10+ years to go before you should start worrying about being 'unattractive'.

    A guy once said to me, women age like roses and men like wine - so - remain optimistic - you'll get your wonderful catch. You just have to throw yourself out there, suck up the pride and before long you'll get the bite

    To give you perspective of stats, as an average looking girl I've matched 870 in 6 weeks. Around 100 have messaged, however only 3 led to a F2F meeting. I would consider myself quite disciplined in only using Tinder for 1h each night, be savvy with your time because you need to enjoy life too!
    Also, be conservative with your expectations. For me only 1 in 5 have progressed to a second meeting and I've only ever met 2 people more than three times. Don't beat around the bush, be clear in what you are looking for, girls find that attractive - plus it saves heartache and time!
 
 
 
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