A Level stress

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    Help!!!!
    My daughter is completely overwhelmed with her A levels :-(
    She sat her AS levels this year & ended up dropping 2 subjects after not getting great results. She got 2 C's in the other 2 subjects & decided to carry on with those & by dropping the others will hopefully give her more time & energy to concentrate on them.
    She always has to put in 100% effort to get through even to achieve a C & she honestly can't do any,ore than she does.
    She's completely demoralised & feels like a failure by not getting top results after working so hard :-(
    On top of this she feels under pressure to get a part time job, which she doesn't feel she can cope with at the moment. I understand that but she's under pressure from her Dad who says it would be good for her, which I do agree with but I can't bear seeing her so down about it all to be honest!
    As a parent I just feel helpless & in the middle of it all 😩
    Would really appreciate some advice I feel like running away too!!
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    I'm doing A levels atm and a book that always helps me when I'm stressed is called The Chimp Paradox.

    She might also wanna look at her study techniques if she's trying her best and not getting the grades she wants. I find that flashcards and past papers are the best way to study
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    (Original post by Christie_xx)
    I'm doing A levels atm and a book that always helps me when I'm stressed is called The Chimp Paradox.

    She might also wanna look at her study techniques if she's trying her best and not getting the grades she wants. I find that flashcards and past papers are the best way to study
    Thanks Christie
    I know I think technique is a lot of it to be honest but I'm not sure how I can help! The school have said that could be an issue too but they're not always that helpful!
    have a look at that book though 😊
    What are your views on a part time job, am I being too soft!?
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    (Original post by Georgia098)
    Thanks Christie
    I know I think technique is a lot of it to be honest but I'm not sure how I can help! The school have said that could be an issue too but they're not always that helpful!
    have a look at that book though 😊
    What are your views on a part time job, am I being too soft!?
    Personally, I think that a part time job is a bit much on top of studying. Often, studying is more valuable to students than working at minimum wage*. As I see it, studying is the same as investing in my future so I'd prefer to study than to get a job. I'm glad that my parents don't want me to get a job because it has allowed me to focus on studying and get good grades at AS.

    Why is it that you think your daughter should get a job?
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    (Original post by Christie_xx)
    Personally, I think that a part time job is a bit much on top of studying. Often, studying is more valuable to students than working at minimum wage*. As I see it, studying is the same as investing in my future so I'd prefer to study than to get a job. I'm glad that my parents don't want me to get a job because it has allowed me to focus on studying and get good grades at AS.

    Why is it that you think your daughter should get a job?
    Not so much me as her Dad! He thinks it will look better if she's done some sort of part time work when she's applying for jobs next year ( she's decided against uni)
    In a way it would give her something else to focus on as her school work is all consuming & obviously a few pounds in her pocket but I'm tending to agree with you (& her!) that she would be better fo using on her studies I do think you need some time out with such a heavy workload too to be honest!
    I'm a bit stuck in the middle, like a lot of Mum's I suppose!
    You sound very sensible though & thank you for your prompt replies 😊
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    (Original post by Georgia098)
    Thanks Christie
    I know I think technique is a lot of it to be honest but I'm not sure how I can help! The school have said that could be an issue too but they're not always that helpful!
    have a look at that book though 😊
    What are your views on a part time job, am I being too soft!?
    If she had a part-time job, how would that affect her ability to perform at school? It's quite likely that it would be detrimental, so I'd be inclined to say that she shouldn't be pushed. That's not to say that she couldn't get a job if she wanted to (it's important that it's her decision rather than yours, because it is a commitment), nor that it wouldn't be beneficial for her in some ways, rather to say that it would reduce her studying time.

    It sounds paradoxical, but have you thought of getting your daughter to reduce her studying time? Often we expect that the greater the time commitment the greater the chance of success, but that's not always true when it comes to studying; too much of it becomes too stressful, and then nothing is retained for a meaningful period of time.

    On a related/extended note, has your daughter got a study planner set-up? The Student Room's sister site - Get Revising - has a fantastic one here. I would recommend that your daughter uses it (or something similar) to plan her week of studying around other commitments (about five hours per subject per week is recommendable, but that's not a hard and fast rule); it might help her to feel more on-top of the workload.

    For you personally as a parent, the best advice that I can offer as someone of a similar age to your daughter is don't be overbearing, but be interested and engaged. Don't ask her to show you every piece of work she's done to prove that she's done it, but ask to see a couple of pieces every now and again to show her that you're interested. Don't force her into a part-time job, but be supportive of her if she wants to do it. I know it often seems like you can never be right, but know that the most heartfelt gratitudes are often unspoken.

    I haven't really got time right now to write out a list of study techniques, but I'll see what I can do for you this evening!
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    (Original post by SummerStrawberry)
    If she had a part-time job, how would that affect her ability to perform at school? It's quite likely that it would be detrimental, so I'd be inclined to say that she shouldn't be pushed. That's not to say that she couldn't get a job if she wanted to (it's important that it's her decision rather than yours, because it is a commitment), nor that it wouldn't be beneficial for her in some ways, rather to say that it would reduce her studying time.

    It sounds paradoxical, but have you thought of getting your daughter to reduce her studying time? Often we expect that the greater the time commitment the greater the chance of success, but that's not always true when it comes to studying; too much of it becomes too stressful, and then nothing is retained for a meaningful period of time.

    On a related/extended note, has your daughter got a study planner set-up? The Student Room's sister site - Get Revising - has a fantastic one here. I would recommend that your daughter uses it (or something similar) to plan her week of studying around other commitments (about five hours per subject per week is recommendable, but that's not a hard and fast rule); it might help her to feel more on-top of the workload.

    For you personally as a parent, the best advice that I can offer as someone of a similar age to your daughter is don't be overbearing, but be interested and engaged. Don't ask her to show you every piece of work she's done to prove that she's done it, but ask to see a couple of pieces every now and again to show her that you're interested. Don't force her into a part-time job, but be supportive of her if she wants to do it. I know it often seems like you can never be right, but know that the most heartfelt gratitudes are often unspoken.

    I haven't really got time right now to write out a list of study techniques, but I'll see what I can do for you this evening!

    Thank you for your reply
    She always spends a lot of time on revision/school work etc ( too much in my opinion!) but she feels she needs to as it takes a while for it all to go in!
    I do let her get on with it & try not to get too involved although always on hand if she needs me, so at least I feel like I'm doing something right lol
    Thanks for your advice re revision etc

    I personally don't think a part time job would help but like I say her Dad feels it would :-(
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    Does the school have Sixth Form learning mentors? They can be really useful when trying to get to grips with the difference between GCSE and A level requirements and study.

    How was the decision to drop two subjects and study two A levels arrived at? With school? Did she start out doing subjects she was good at and liked, or subjects she thought would be useful? What was her plan when she started Sixth Form ie has she always felt that university was not something she wanted or was suited to, or is this a reaction to her AS disappointment?

    I'd really encourage a meeting with school as I feel she has arrived at a rather 'neither here nor there' situation. Maybe she has some undiagnosed specific learning disabilities which need to be addressed and supported (it's not at all unusual). Maybe continuing with Sixth Form is a dead end, although it is probably now too late (either absolutely, or in terms of her catching up) to switch to a further education Level 3 course for this academic year.

    I can't think that part time work and continuing with her current study will have the effect her father is hoping for, unless what he is really doing is writing off any hope of grades that mean anything good to employers, and her being able to apply for a 'post A level' entry job and just doesn't want to say so. If she did continue, she could get a Summer job after A levels and possibly have more choice being 18 by that point.
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    (Original post by Georgia098)
    Help!!!!
    My daughter is completely overwhelmed with her A levels :-(
    She sat her AS levels this year & ended up dropping 2 subjects after not getting great results. She got 2 C's in the other 2 subjects & decided to carry on with those & by dropping the others will hopefully give her more time & energy to concentrate on them.
    She always has to put in 100% effort to get through even to achieve a C & she honestly can't do any,ore than she does.
    She's completely demoralised & feels like a failure by not getting top results after working so hard :-(
    On top of this she feels under pressure to get a part time job, which she doesn't feel she can cope with at the moment. I understand that but she's under pressure from her Dad who says it would be good for her, which I do agree with but I can't bear seeing her so down about it all to be honest!
    As a parent I just feel helpless & in the middle of it all 😩
    Would really appreciate some advice I feel like running away too!!
    I do sympathise with this. It's horrid to see them so down and miserable with it all I do think some of it comes down to managing expectation. Of course everyone wants to get straight A*s, but obviously not everyone can/does. But that doesn't mean that they've failed in any way. If your daughter has worked her socks off and got a C as a result then there's no shame in that - try to get her to see that it doesn't matter what other people got, and not to compare herself and her results to others, but to see her achievement for what it is. I know this is easy to say, and certainly with fora like this one, a C grade can appear the end of the world, but TSR is not representative of the wider student population! Showing her that you're proud of her and her achievements (which I'm sure you do) is surely the important thing. I often see parents inadvertently increasing their children's anxiety by demanding meetings at schools, coming up with endless study plans, micromanaging and generally getting far too involved and neurotic about things. The only effect this has is to increase the child's sense of failure and disenchantment.

    As for the job, it might be a good thing to give her a perspective on things. A level students do get terribly tunnel-visioned, and their entire lives begin to hinge on their exams. Perhaps by having a part-time job it would allow her some distance, show her that she can do lots of other things well and, ironically, maybe help her academic work by giving her a healthier approach to it all.

    Does this help?
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    OMG thank you so much I read this & thought 'you get me'! Thank you so much I woke up this morning & felt my heart sink thinking about it all ( it all kicked off yesterday) & though I need help, but not sure how to get it. Never done this before but thought it was worth a shot!

    Really appreciate all the replies but think you're a Mum too!? & know where I'm coming from! My husband is a lovely father but can expect too much at times, he's a perfectionist & kind of expects people to live by his rules!! I totally get the job thing too & agree with him & you but I honestly think she wants to give her A levels her best shot with no other distractions ( she had a weekend job last year & partly blames that for her lower results)
    I just feel like we should give her the next few months without any added pressure & then she can hopefully start work with exam grades she's proud of ( even if they're not A*'s!!!)
    Thank you so much for your response xx
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    (Original post by dirtmother)
    Does the school have Sixth Form learning mentors? They can be really useful when trying to get to grips with the difference between GCSE and A level requirements and study.

    How was the decision to drop two subjects and study two A levels arrived at? With school? Did she start out doing subjects she was good at and liked, or subjects she thought would be useful? What was her plan when she started Sixth Form ie has she always felt that university was not something she wanted or was suited to, or is this a reaction to her AS disappointment?

    I'd really encourage a meeting with school as I feel she has arrived at a rather 'neither here nor there' situation. Maybe she has some undiagnosed specific learning disabilities which need to be addressed and supported (it's not at all unusual). Maybe continuing with Sixth Form is a dead end, although it is probably now too late (either absolutely, or in terms of her catching up) to switch to a further education Level 3 course for this academic year.

    I can't think that part time work and continuing with her current study will have the effect her father is hoping for, unless what he is really doing is writing off any hope of grades that mean anything good to employers, and her being able to apply for a 'post A level' entry job and just doesn't want to say so. If she did continue, she could get a Summer job after A levels and possibly have more choice being 18 by that point.
    She decided to drop the two subjects she didn't get great grades in one she was going to anyway ( 4 A levels is a tall order for most!) the other subject she was predicted good grades & she got a U :-(
    So she decided to keep business & law & pick up a B tech in another subject instead of another A level.
    Uni was a bit indecided anyway but after her results she thought a job/ apprentiship would be a better option ( which we agree with tbh)
    She feels if she just leaves now it would be a waste of her time so far & wouldn't reflect well on future employers if she ditches her studies now.
    Her Dad just feels if she had some sort of part time work it would give her a distraction from her studies & maybe motivate her in something else, I don't fully disagree with that I just feel, for her at the moment it's too much to cope with when she's at a very low eb :-(
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    I'm currently studying three essay-based A Level subjects after dropping one once I finished my AS's last year. The transition from GCSE to A-Levels is always difficult and no one prepared me properly, so much so that I wasn't meeting deadlines last year nor was I coping well with the expectations set by my subject teachers. I came out with two Ds, a C and a B in the subjects that I completed at AS and it's safe to say I was very disappointed. I had spent most of my nights in the run up to my exams revising three, four hours a night to come out with results as low as then when I was achieving much higher in class. I just did not understand where I went wrong.

    So, I have decided this year to be much much more organised in what I'm doing. I'm trying hard to meet every single deadline set by setting myself an earlier deadline so I know that if anything does go drastically wrong, I have enough time to make sure that it can be sorted. I have a planner (school provide me with one) but I organise my free period's and evenings in that -- it's literally my life saver. I am determined to finish this year with two As and a B at the least, since that is the requirement for the university I want to go to. I also have a part-time job at the weekends, and it doesn't really affect my school work in any way whatsoever. I work 11-4 most weekends and I still come home and finish any odd-ends I might have. The only reason I work is to give myself some extra cash on the side and so I can put something else on my personal statement which shows dedication.

    As others have suggested, looking at revision techniques is a good idea. Sometimes it's so simple to go wrong in revision because no one teaches you how to revise. I went ahead and bought "How to Ace Your A-Levels" and after reading it, it's surprising how simply amendments can make such a difference in the score that you achieve. I strongly recommend getting it, especially if your daughter is at the point where she feels she can do no more -- I was like that!

    Hope this helps.
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    (Original post by thedayismyenxmy)
    I'm currently studying three essay-based A Level subjects after dropping one once I finished my AS's last year. The transition from GCSE to A-Levels is always difficult and no one prepared me properly, so much so that I wasn't meeting deadlines last year nor was I coping well with the expectations set by my subject teachers. I came out with two Ds, a C and a B in the subjects that I completed at AS and it's safe to say I was very disappointed. I had spent most of my nights in the run up to my exams revising three, four hours a night to come out with results as low as then when I was achieving much higher in class. I just did not understand where I went wrong.

    So, I have decided this year to be much much more organised in what I'm doing. I'm trying hard to meet every single deadline set by setting myself an earlier deadline so I know that if anything does go drastically wrong, I have enough time to make sure that it can be sorted. I have a planner (school provide me with one) but I organise my free period's and evenings in that -- it's literally my life saver. I am determined to finish this year with two As and a B at the least, since that is the requirement for the university I want to go to. I also have a part-time job at the weekends, and it doesn't really affect my school work in any way whatsoever. I work 11-4 most weekends and I still come home and finish any odd-ends I might have. The only reason I work is to give myself some extra cash on the side and so I can put something else on my personal statement which shows dedication.

    As others have suggested, looking at revision techniques is a good idea. Sometimes it's so simple to go wrong in revision because no one teaches you how to revise. I went ahead and bought "How to Ace Your A-Levels" and after reading it, it's surprising how simply amendments can make such a difference in the score that you achieve. I strongly recommend getting it, especially if your daughter is at the point where she feels she can do no more -- I was like that!

    Hope this helps.
    Thank you for your response
    You sound like you're doing well :-)
    The problem is she always meets deadlines & has a good revision plan/timetable, she's just obviously not an A or A* pupil ( which is absolutely fine!!) it just breaks my heart that after all the work she puts in she's so disappointed with her grades :-(
    I mentioned that book & she's already got it!
    I think we can get her through what is going to be a tough few months it just all came to a head at the weekend with her Dad pushing her to get a part time job all for the same reason you're doing it but I honestly don't think she'd cope with it at the moment, works for some but not all ( well done you though!!)
    Like someone said on another reply I think she'll be better investing her time in her studies for now, although I do agree a job would & could be beneficial to her it's got to be her choice hasn't it!?
    I really appreciate everyone's time & comments I was at my wits end yesterday & just needed some advice I wasn't going completely wrong with it all!
    Good luck x
 
 
 
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