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Is my friend trying to get out of paying me back?

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    #1

    I lend my friend £50 about 5 weeks ago, and he said he'd give me the money back ASAP but I still haven't had it.
    What happened was that he lost his bank cards and was in a bit of an emergency, so I offered to lend him money, else he'd have been screwed.

    He lives far away so couldn't give it to me in person. I saw him the other week and he could have given it me then, but I guess we both forgot.

    He said he'd prefer to do it with a particular account, as it was easier for him, but he just needed to wait for the bank card to arrive at his house (posted).

    He's normally reliable with money and things like that so I trusted him to pay me back.He said he'd take my bank details as soon as the card arrived. After 2 weeks, he hadn't mentioned it, so I asked him if the card might have got lost or something, as it should have taken 3-5 days at most.
    He said that the card had arrived ,but he'd forgotten to tell me. He asked for my bank details there and then, and said he'd make the transfer the next day online.

    That was 3 days ago, I've checked my bank account online, and he's not made the payment. I checked ,and I gave him the correct details.

    I'm starting to think he's doing it on purpose and he doesn't want to pay me back. I even said to him that if he was broke (he had a few montrhs unemployed) that he could keep it until he got his first paycheck, but he insisted he'd pay it bac kasap.

    Not sure anymore though now.. what do others think?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've lent him £30 quid in the past, and he gave me back the money the following week, so he's usually quite reliable.. plus we're really good friends.
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    We can't know for sure... Looks like it tbh but maybe he is just unlucky and all those things are true. Wait and see

    Happened to me with a good friend of mine about 1 year ago. After a few months, I asked twice, she found an excuse twice and promised she would give them back to me soon. Never gonna happen lol.
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    You should only lend money to people on the basis that they won't pay it back and, if they do, that's a bonus. I would never lend money to a friend because of exactly this situation occurring which then ruins the friendship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've lent him £30 quid in the past, and he gave me back the money the following week, so he's usually quite reliable.. plus we're really good friends.
    Just because you lent someone money before and they paid you back does not mean they are reliable because what usually happens with people like that is one day they will let you down and not pay you or if your lucky pay you back but take a very long time doing therefore forcing you to keep asking for it and that's jus as bad
    He got his cards but did not tell you and also tells you he forgot. That's nice of him is'nt it ?
    The best way to ruin a friendship or relationhip with family is lending them money
    If he keeps stalling or never pays you back or only makes half a payment you're going to regret it
    Even if he does pay you back this time this is a good lesson for you never to lend him money again or anyone else no matter how desperate they are as it could ruin your friendship. Next time even if he is desperate pretend you have no money either
    Not everyone is like you or I where you are kind enough to lend someone money or pay them back as soon as you get it.
    When i offered to lend a work colleague money she never attempted to give it back even on our pay day. So next day i texted her not to forget to bring the money to work and she went mental saying she never asked for it and she does not have to pay me back and i'm lucky she is paying me back, then she tried to get another work colleague involved by asking her for her opinion while we were all sitting having lunch in the canteen. So after that i never lent her money again and when she asked i pretended i was broke as it's better to lie about that so they don't turn against you or try to turn other people against you. Wicked people will always try to make you feel bad just for asking for your money back which is why i never lend anyone money anymore as it's really stressful worrying about asking for it back all the time

    She even had the cheek afterwards to ask me to take out a loan for her because she had not paid them back yet but she had no intention to give me the interest back that i wkuld have to pay. But thankfully the loan company would not allow it.
    I can't believe what an idiot i was to even agree to it so i was so glad the company refused her paying off her loan through me. They did me a massive favour.
    I felt i owed her to help her because she introduced me to The money shop or i would never have known about. Another male collegue at thesame company asked me if i would get a loan of £50 for him, I said no straightaway. Some of these people are the worst scroungers. This was in 2013 when i had a job

    I've heard of lots of people who lent someone money and were told that person forgot or had difficulty getting it back or never got it back
    Next time someone needs to borrow money direct them to loan companies like Provident, Morses club, Speedy cash, cash converters, The money shop, etc then they will be forced to pay those companies back.
    My sister's phone was stolen by her friend she had only known for a few months then she heard that a man had bought the phone from her friend. He couldn't use it because she got the phone company to block it. I rang her number and the man who bought it answered i explained it's stolen and he was pissed so i offered to buy it back at the price he paid for it. I arranged to meet him with my sister in her area and paid him £35 which was the last money i had left to pay my rent. My sister had no money but promised me she would give it back the followkng week as she gets paid then. When i called her to get the money she said she had lots of bills to pay and could not afford to give me the money back then said i should not have psid tge man for the phone but if i did notshe would never have ot the phone back.

    Talk about ungrateful and that's a family member your meant to trust.
    I could have gotten into trouble not paying my rent on time but she did'nt care but i was angry but after a few days i had to forgive her because she is my sister and because she has given me money before in the past. But i decided never to lend her money unless i know i can afford not to get it back.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I lend my friend £50 about 5 weeks ago, and he said he'd give me the money back ASAP but I still haven't had it.
    What happened was that he lost his bank cards and was in a bit of an emergency, so I offered to lend him money, else he'd have been screwed.

    He lives far away so couldn't give it to me in person. I saw him the other week and he could have given it me then, but I guess we both forgot.

    He said he'd prefer to do it with a particular account, as it was easier for him, but he just needed to wait for the bank card to arrive at his house (posted).

    He's normally reliable with money and things like that so I trusted him to pay me back.He said he'd take my bank details as soon as the card arrived. After 2 weeks, he hadn't mentioned it, so I asked him if the card might have got lost or something, as it should have taken 3-5 days at most.
    He said that the card had arrived ,but he'd forgotten to tell me. He asked for my bank details there and then, and said he'd make the transfer the next day online.

    That was 3 days ago, I've checked my bank account online, and he's not made the payment. I checked ,and I gave him the correct details.

    I'm starting to think he's doing it on purpose and he doesn't want to pay me back. I even said to him that if he was broke (he had a few montrhs unemployed) that he could keep it until he got his first paycheck, but he insisted he'd pay it bac kasap.

    Not sure anymore though now.. what do others think?

    A few months ago i was on the bus and a man was shouting on his phone to his dad to pay him back the money he lent him today because his rent is due today but the dad was saying he has not got it but he can get it tomorrow but the bloke was going mental saying it has to be today not tomorrow. And he was threatening him and saying if you don't pay it today he will never have anything to do with him again. This is another example of why you can never trust anybody to pay you back especially if you need it back urgent to pay your rent.

    I made a few spelling mistakes on my other reply

    Years ago another person told me his brother's friend asked to borrow money and everytime he asked for it back he was told he forgot or other excuses so my advice to him was just to write it off as it's obvious he has no intention of paying him back and never lend him or anyone money again even if they are good friends, just pretend he is broke next time anyone asks. I also told him there was a reason his brother never lent him money as it was really his brother's friend but i also said his brother should have stuck up for him and asked his friend to pay him back but i realised after i said that that i was wrong because he was stupid enough to lend his friend the money and if his brother got involved he would end up falling out with him and lose a friend too

    My other sister lent her friend £6,000 to buy a house and my sister had to keep chasing her with phone calls and she would only pay small amounts but only when my sister called to ask for it. In the end she only received all the money by having to go to her house to collect payments every month or her friend would never have given it back if she had not kept chasing her and going to her house to collect it but it dragged on for years and her friend earned a lot of money as a manager and she had another house she was renting somewhere else so she was earning extra money.
    But it was my sister's fault for being stupid enough to lend her that amount.
    You never lend anyone that amount of money but she learnt her lesson the hard way.

    I also have a friend who lent me £400 but he offered to and i was paying him back regularly very month then he bought me other stuff like microwave, cooker for £150 which i said i don't want them at first but he persuaded me to let him pay and we agreed how much i would pay him back, i had not finished paying the 400 yet then he turned up with a 40inch 3D smart tv on sale for £450. I had no idea he was going to buy it for me as we never discussed it. I had only talked about buying a tv on sale for £180 myself but i offered to pay him straightaway in instalments.
    Then before the month came up to pay him he said i now owe him £1,000 so i said ok. I did not realise it had all added up to so much because i was paying him a lot every month by not paying other bills or debts so i thought i had cleared 400 already. Then i had problems with my phone and he got me a new contract phone but on his name as i had bad credit then a few months later said i now owe him £1,400 . I would never borrow £1,000 from anyone or even a loan company as it takes longer to pay off, even when i had a full time job i never borrowed that much. The most i would borrow from loan companies is 300 then pay it all back in full on payday then get the same amount the same day, this means i can never get in debt but i just rely on it.

    Although he wrote down how much i was paying back each month he lost the paper then said i was the one who lost it but i should have kept my own record too
    I have been paying him back for 3 years so it's been hard paying off other companies and bills. Then i questioned him about how long it has taken to pay him back he got angry, stopped talking to me properly for a few months but now we are ok again. But he has this problem where i only owed him 200 left and after asking if i can pay less every month because it is leaving me short he agreed but after i paid 2 months i only owed 120 then he said i still owe £260 so i did not question him but just made sure from now on that i write down every time i paid him back and how much i have left to pay. But i do owe him more than 1,400 because he has helped me a few other times when i could not pay my bills because i was paying him.
    It's been sheer hell for 3 years paying him back because i had to pay him so i don't lose a good friend and also because he has helped me more than my family and friends i've known for years as they would never do all that for me so i am very grateful to him for offereing. But this year he offered to help me again and i said no, i'd prefer to go to a loan company because i can pay them in full every month and just get another loan but paying a friend for 3 years so that i'm struggling is far worse than getting loans. I would never borrow from a friend again.

    But i needed money recently because christmas is coming up and i could not afford to pay other debts because i had to pay him back so i just applied to get a loan but he agreed to be my guarantor because he knows i would pay the company back because i paid him back all the money i borrowed.
    I would always lend him money because he did it for me but if i thought he would not pay me back i would not care because of how he offered to help me before when i never asked him for help but i would never lend any other friends money and if family or the sister who never gave me the money back asked to borrow again i would just give it to them as a gift where they don't have to give it back because that way you won't fall out with them over money. I would do the same for the friend that lent me £1,400 but never anyone else.
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    well it's perfectly possible that 'life got in the way' and he just forgot to do it

    it's also possible he doesn't have the money now but genuinely intends to pay you back with his next paycheck but is too embarrassed to say so

    it's also possible he is trying to avoid paying you back...

    not really any way to know until you push it for a bit longer, I would ask him if he needs to wait til payday to pay the money back... if he says yes reply 'okay no problem but I will be desparate for it by then so will need it straight away' and on payday remind him 'I need that money transferring today as I really need it' and don't be afraid to remind him again in the evening and 'check' he sent it... if he says he doesn't need to wait say 'I'm really desparate for the money, could you send it today please' and then nag him repeatedly, offer to remind him when he gets home from work etc

    if that doesn't work you may have to accept that the money is gone, I agree with the never lending money unless you'd be happy never to see it again principle
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    I agree, it's a bad idea to lend money to a friend if you want to see it back.

    I only do it when one of my friends doesn't have money on him and we go eat somewhere together or if it's something cheap. Next time he'll return me the favour. Or he won't, and for a few bucks it doesn't really matter.
 
 
 
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Updated: October 11, 2016
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