Total mess looming - advice! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Hiya to all reading this,

So basically I moved into a shared flat for my second year of uni; me, my girlfriend and another person. I regretted moving in with her almost immediately and to cut a long story short, it isn't going to last. I think I love her, but if it makes sense, I don't like her. I don't get the impression that she tries to be a nice person and her views of the world make me want to just run away from humans. She brings out the worst in me, and I hate how she has changed me. I used to be a nice and thoughtful person, but now I don't even know what I am. Everyone says that I'm a good boyfriend to her. I guess I am. I adore caring for her, but I get nothing back. I'm sorry for the drama, but it's really destroying me. It's got to the point where I look around at all the nice people and wonder how I ended up with somebody so heartless and insensitive to other humans' feelings.

But I'm obviously stuck living here. So what do I do? Shall I try to keep it going? I'm scared of ending it because I know I'd miss her, and seeing her every day would be unbearable. And plus I know she'd be the sort of person to try to make things worse while I'm living in the same flat.

I don't even know if this is actually a question or just a rant to the internet. That's the beauty of the anonymous button I suppose. She's more or less my best friend as well as my girlfriend too, so I'm going to lose that too.
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markova21
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#2
Report 3 years ago
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Hello. Maybe you're just in love with the idea of being in love? If she is such a not nice person what can you possibly love about her? Also I have to say, but why would you even want to be friends with someone like that or have them in your life at all?
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Reality Check
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#3
Report 3 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hiya to all reading this,

So basically I moved into a shared flat for my second year of uni; me, my girlfriend and another person. I regretted moving in with her almost immediately and to cut a long story short, it isn't going to last. I think I love her, but if it makes sense, I don't like her. I don't get the impression that she tries to be a nice person and her views of the world make me want to just run away from humans. She brings out the worst in me, and I hate how she has changed me. I used to be a nice and thoughtful person, but now I don't even know what I am. Everyone says that I'm a good boyfriend to her. I guess I am. I adore caring for her, but I get nothing back. I'm sorry for the drama, but it's really destroying me. It's got to the point where I look around at all the nice people and wonder how I ended up with somebody so heartless and insensitive to other humans' feelings.

But I'm obviously stuck living here. So what do I do? Shall I try to keep it going? I'm scared of ending it because I know I'd miss her, and seeing her every day would be unbearable. And plus I know she'd be the sort of person to try to make things worse while I'm living in the same flat.

I don't even know if this is actually a question or just a rant to the internet. That's the beauty of the anonymous button I suppose. She's more or less my best friend as well as my girlfriend too, so I'm going to lose that too.
Oh, Anonymous...I feel for your predicament.

When you say 'it's not going to last' what does that mean, realistically. That one of you is going to end it? And by the sounds of it, that someone is going to be you. If you ended the relationship then the tenancy becomes academic - you obviously wouldn't be able to carry on living with each other. But the tenancy seems a distraction to the real question - if you don't want to be with this girl, and you've decided this, then why are you stringing out the relationship? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Do you think she's got an inkling, or could it come as some giant surprise to her. You've got to communicate with her and tell her how you feel - you might be surprised at her response. It might work out. But you don't know unless you talk to her!
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