So I've been friends with this guy for about 9 years I consider him a very very close friend who has always openly told me he loves me during late night chats etc but it's remained platonic because I don't know, it just has. I do adore him but I never particularly felt the need to change into something else, he didn't push it either, we just carried on, spoke often. We love classical music, share books, talk endlessly about the world. His family love me, mine think he sounds gee they've never met him properly though. Anyway long story short, I went round his a couple of nights ago and we drunk a lottttt but, the weird thing is.. Everytime I've gone around lately I've passed out. And the other night I woke up and he said we slept together. I remember nothing. Blank. Black. I just know I woke up butt naked. I was on my period at the time and hadn't shaved in ages so I don't know how on earth I would have been down for that. He says it was beautiful, I was really 'present' and we spoke about it before it happened... He said he was sad I didn't remember. My head was in agony the next day and I felt... Really *****y. Now I told myself, stop overthinking it. You drank too much. But I have never ever in my life not remembered having sex with someone. And now it's really bothering me. Is there anyway I could know if there were drugs in my system maybe? If not, shall I just move on? I don't want to think this has happened and I don't want to think that of him when it could just be me drinking too much and forgetting a big patch.. I don't know.
Is it really that intense? Would I cope?