one of the lads??

Normally I hang out with girls but I'm also in a group of friends who are almost all boys (3 other girls), We're quite close and I really like relaxing and behaving ladishly when I'm around them. I've started to fancy one of the guys now though, so I guess I need to behave more girly, how can I start being girly without it seeming weird and obvious to everyone? any suggestions?..

Reply 1

Consie

are you female, or gay?

Reply 2

Luize

why do you need to change your behaviour?
I'm not overly girly and have typically masculine interests but it hasn't stopped me from getting into relationships. In fact some guys have said they have prefered ladish interests etc to girly.

Reply 3

sib

I had the same problem as you... and accordingly I tried to change to be more feminine etc... then the guy I liked confided in me that he liked the 'laddish' mate of mine... Damn it!!! The moral of the story is... Don't change for ANYONE!!!

I ended out going out with his best mate and we are still together after three years :biggrin:

always a happy ending lol!

Good luck my dear^^

Reply 4

tetrahydrocannabinol.

Why should you change? All my mates are lads, there are 7 close ones and around 15 other ones who I hang out with fairly regularly, as well as all the lads I went to school with, and I'm undoubtedly one of the lads. My mate Hoggy calls me a 'bloke with boobs' and my boyfriend doesn't mind for one second because although I like doing blokey things, and I've always been a tomboy, he can see who I am and appreciate the fact that I can hang out with his mates without being shy or weird about it. It seems like that's what you've been doing anyway, because you've got mutual male friends. I'd say go for it, however I'll warn you now, if you separate, and especially if the other lads have been friends with him for longer than you have, then they'll most likely not hang out with you much anymore. Whatever happens though, don't change yourself.

Reply 5

at_amber

im weird, im extremely girly but still hang out with this huge group of guys. i used to be really into one of them as well lol.

yeah, if you want to you can be more girly and still do it. but dont bother if its not natural, wearing twinsets and full skirts and squealing at insects wont make him like you, however tacky it sounds its your personality that is important.

Reply 6

DodgyTrousers

I agree, don't change yourself. If it worked, then you'd have to keep up that facade to keep it interesting, and you'd always be fearful that one day the "real you" would show again.

If you want this bloke to notice you, engineer some physical contact with him. Hell, get some dutch courage and blame it on the beer! It's a difficult line to cross between friend and lover, but they are much the same, just one has (more) sex.

Reply 7

Jelkin

A male friend of mine recently told me I'm "in touch with my masculine side" :biggrin:

Reply 8

Krysia

Making yourself 'more girly' shouldn't be too important; at the end of the day, the lad in question has got to like you for who and what you are, so there's no point in putting on some kind of act to try and impress him, it'll take too much effort to keep up indefinitely. Just wear something flattering, be it a skirt and glitzy top or just a nice fitted t-shirt and jeans, as long as you feel comfortable in it. There are ways of flirting without breaking out the miniskirts and stilettos; eye contact, body language, talking to him, etc.

I hang around with a group mostly made up of blokes, and that's how I met my boyfriend. I've found it helps sometimes if a lad can talk to you without immediately having the reaction of 'omg, it's a FEMALE, how the hell do I talk to her? What do I say?' (and vice-versa :rolleyes:

)

Reply 9

Dream_Catcher

Don't change around him just carry on being yourself as he might think you've become friends to get more, which could be seen as being dishonest and will probably scare him off.

Like already said just wear something that is flatterning, he'll soon notice you as more than a friend.