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dilemma...

10

in a nutshell i've just found out that one of my friend's bf has cheated on her........what am i supposed to do? i found out by accident, didn't see it, but it definitely happened.

Reply 1

Empyreal Rhapsody

8

This is an incredibly tough situation, but I guess it's dependent on where your loyalties lay. I'm assuming they will be with your friend, in which case you should tell her.

Reply 2

m90

11

Tell her.

Reply 3

Angelil

19

If you didn't see it then as far as you know it didn't happen. Even if you were to tell your mate, don't you realise how daft it sounds to say "so-and-so says your boyfriend cheated on you?" Unless you actually saw it with your own two eyes and/or have photographic evidence, what you say won't have any credibility, and you'll have a hard time getting your mate to believe you even then. Just leave it.

Reply 4

sib

1

Im not sure if you should tell her... i think you should let the bf know that you kno (if that makes sense lol) and give him the chance to come clean himself before you rush in... If he doesn't then you should tell her.. but give him that opportunity first!

Reply 5

Ang|ophi|e

12

If you're sure it happened, your friend should know.

Reply 6

m90

11

Even if it didn't happen, at least your friend can keep a better eye on her boyfriend in the future... it doesn't hurt telling her...

Reply 7

Angelil

19

m90

Even if it didn't happen, at least your friend can keep a better eye on her boyfriend in the future... it doesn't hurt telling her...

I disagree. What if he didn't do it? That just puts a load of paranoia and mistrust in the relationship that has no good reason to be there and could wreck or even end the relationship needlessly.

A lot of you seem to have forgotten/are choosing to ignore the fact that the OP wasn't even there when this incident of cheating allegedly took place - implying that it's all hearsay, unless there's photographic evidence of some sort.

Reply 8

Sundous

1

OP: If you don't want to tell her because your friends with her bf as well, let him know that you're on to him and make him talk to her. Maybe if he's honest and truly regretful (and your friend is forgiving) the relationship can be saved.

good luck!

Reply 9

m90

11

Well personally, I would want to know any rumours about my boyfriend - true or false. I'm sure the girlfriend could work out for herself whether it was likely to have happened or not. I can't believe people would actually hide something like that from their friend, oh my lol.

Reply 10

Rutter knows best!

12

blood soaked racist the lot of you. its like nazi bloody germany i have no free speach.

Reply 11

romeosbitch

15

these things never work out well, some of the stories ive heard include the cheated on girlfriend accusing the friend of being jealous and their friendship being totally ruined by it.

the best thing to do is to let the boyfriend know that you know and tell him to stop being a ******

if you just leave it and dont do anything, then your friend will no doubt turn round and say "why didnt you tell me?"

Reply 12

Angelil

19

Angelil

A lot of you seem to have forgotten/are choosing to ignore the fact that the OP wasn't even there when this incident of cheating allegedly took place - implying that it's all hearsay, unless there's photographic evidence of some sort.

^^

Reply 13

I_am_the_mob

1

She needs to know but it depends how close you are to her I guess. I wouldn't want to know from someone I was friends with but not close to, if you get me lol

Reply 14

turkish_delight

OP

10

to people who are saying it might not have happened:
IT HAPPENED.

she's just such a sweet girl, at times she can be naive but i know she wouldnt doubt me, she would believe me

i have got his number but is it worth talking to him first??

this is so difficult, she thinks he's amazing and im about to shatter her illusion.

Reply 15

Angelil

19

turkish_delight

to people who are saying it might not have happened:
IT HAPPENED.

she's just such a sweet girl, at times she can be naive but i know she wouldnt doubt me, she would believe me

i have got his number but is it worth talking to him first??

this is so difficult, she thinks he's amazing and im about to shatter her illusion.

If you're sure it happened then you should tell her, but how do you know it happened if you personally didn't see it? Care to share?

Reply 16

turkish_delight

OP

10

wesetters

Are you really sure ?

Telling her just seems like a sure way to damage a friendship, frankly, and perhaps a relationship, all because of rumour and hearsay.

i'm just concerned that if she finds out that i knew she'll be even more gutted that i lied aswel!!!!

actually, thanks everyone for posting, this has made me realise that i would be a worse friend by not telling her.

Reply 17

ssk2

10

You don't know ANYTHING, you cannot prove ANYTHING and yet you're gonna ruin their relationship. Niiiice....

Reply 18

m90

11

wesetters

Are you really sure ?

Telling her just seems like a sure way to damage a friendship, frankly, and perhaps a relationship, all because of rumour and hearsay.

Mmm I do agree with that to an extent. I'm saying what has worked in my friendship group - maybe it won't in theirs. I'd be annoyed with my friend if I found out this rumour that she'd known all along and not told me. I think this rumour will spread anyway - cos the OP heard it from someone else as they didn't see it themselves... so who knows who knows it now? OP: But nevermind, if you don't want to tell her, don't worry, if it was true though, poor girlfriend :frown:

Reply 19

herbal bug

12

I'd say tell her. If it definetly happened then she deserves to know.

dilemma...

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