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    (Original post by motherofschmode)
    Hi

    Basically I am hating my university experience. I have only been here 3 weeks but I just cannot stand it or see it improving for me. I am incredibly homesick, feel very lonely and isolated and thus have 0 motivation for my course and cannot focus on it anyway from feeling so upset.
    I know a big part of uni is the living away from home and independence aspect but I am just having such a rough time being away from those I love and the lifestyle that enjoyed- I have had to put many things I loved doing on hold to come to uni and am just not finding uni worth it. Every morning when I wake up the first thing I do is cry when I realise I am still here and I am already missing lectures because I am simply not in the right frame of mind for them. I feel fed up of academia.
    I would much rather go to a local uni and commute and actually be able to enjoy the experience than struggle through the year here. I am already counting down the days until the end of the year- this just isn't right.

    SO, my main issue is this: I do need/want a degree, so my plan was to drop out and apply to a local uni for 2017. I would pay my current uni 25% of the tuition fee (£2950) and this amount again in the first term in 2017, so £5000. *Do I need to fund the £2950 myself for 2017 or am I still able to get a loan to cover it?* My accommodation is a huge issue as I am caught in a 1 year contract, unless I can find a new tenant that'll be £5000 for the year. SO, would dropping out potentially cost me £10,000? If so, this makes me feel incredibly guilty and even more depressed.
    Of course my parents want me to stick the year out and I wish I could but on a day-to-day basis it is extremely hard.

    Can someone give me some advice? I'm really stuck and panicky. I can't believe that as someone who has obviously never been to uni before it seems there is no option for me to change my mind.

    Cheers
    Why don't you try making some friends and getting to know people? Everyone around you is on the same boat so if there's people around they can help you out with any problems. I to k you should give it a chance before making any hasty decisions. Try the full year out and if you still hate it then you can always change universities.
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    (Original post by PrincessPB)
    Why don't you try making some friends and getting to know people? Everyone around you is on the same boat so if there's people around they can help you out with any problems. I to k you should give it a chance before making any hasty decisions. Try the full year out and if you still hate it then you can always change universities.
    Hi, thanks for your reply. I have tried, I went out a lot during fresher's week and have done a sports taster and signed up to a society. I am quite shy and have tried to push myself socially, but I'm not sure the student lifestyle is really for me, therefore I find it difficult to click with fellow students. I will continue to try though.
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    (Original post by motherofschmode)
    Hi

    Basically I am hating my university experience. I have only been here 3 weeks but I just cannot stand it or see it improving for me. I am incredibly homesick, feel very lonely and isolated and thus have 0 motivation for my course and cannot focus on it anyway from feeling so upset.
    I know a big part of uni is the living away from home and independence aspect but I am just having such a rough time being away from those I love and the lifestyle that enjoyed- I have had to put many things I loved doing on hold to come to uni and am just not finding uni worth it. Every morning when I wake up the first thing I do is cry when I realise I am still here and I am already missing lectures because I am simply not in the right frame of mind for them. I feel fed up of academia.
    I would much rather go to a local uni and commute and actually be able to enjoy the experience than struggle through the year here. I am already counting down the days until the end of the year- this just isn't right.

    SO, my main issue is this: I do need/want a degree, so my plan was to drop out and apply to a local uni for 2017. I would pay my current uni 25% of the tuition fee (£2950) and this amount again in the first term in 2017, so £5000. *Do I need to fund the £2950 myself for 2017 or am I still able to get a loan to cover it?* My accommodation is a huge issue as I am caught in a 1 year contract, unless I can find a new tenant that'll be £5000 for the year. SO, would dropping out potentially cost me £10,000? If so, this makes me feel incredibly guilty and even more depressed.
    Of course my parents want me to stick the year out and I wish I could but on a day-to-day basis it is extremely hard.

    Can someone give me some advice? I'm really stuck and panicky. I can't believe that as someone who has obviously never been to uni before it seems there is no option for me to change my mind.

    Cheers
    Will going back to a local university help you? You need to get used to the independent lifestyle or you'll constantly depend on the same lifestyle to be satisfied. What are your career plans if you did swap universities; would you change courses to a new career or do the same course? And if you did go back, would your friends still be there?
    Talk to your tutor at the university and keep going for a few more weeks. If you still hate it then perhaps dropping out and finding a job close to home would be more suitable.
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    (Original post by I is you)
    Will going back to a local university help you? You need to get used to the independent lifestyle or you'll constantly depend on the same lifestyle to be satisfied. What are your career plans if you did swap universities; would you change courses to a new career or do the same course? And if you did go back, would your friends still be there?
    Talk to your tutor at the university and keep going for a few more weeks. If you still hate it then perhaps dropping out and finding a job close to home would be more suitable.
    Hi thanks for you reply. You make some valid points, especially on the independence aspect. However I do believe that you can learn to be independent and still live at home, for example I can cook for my family. It's just this "independence" I am experiencing now is more just...loneliness. I think people have different ideas on what being truly independent means.

    I would most probably do the same course. None of my close friends went to university, so they are all back home and I don't really have anyone to share the experience with.

    I am actually arranging an appointment to speak to student welfare and am starting a course to help. So I am trying! As you said, I will try my best to keep going.
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    (Original post by motherofschmode)
    Hi

    Basically I am hating my university experience. I have only been here 3 weeks but I just cannot stand it or see it improving for me. I am incredibly homesick, feel very lonely and isolated and thus have 0 motivation for my course and cannot focus on it anyway from feeling so upset.
    I know a big part of uni is the living away from home and independence aspect but I am just having such a rough time being away from those I love and the lifestyle that enjoyed- I have had to put many things I loved doing on hold to come to uni and am just not finding uni worth it. Every morning when I wake up the first thing I do is cry when I realise I am still here and I am already missing lectures because I am simply not in the right frame of mind for them. I feel fed up of academia.
    I would much rather go to a local uni and commute and actually be able to enjoy the experience than struggle through the year here. I am already counting down the days until the end of the year- this just isn't right.

    SO, my main issue is this: I do need/want a degree, so my plan was to drop out and apply to a local uni for 2017. I would pay my current uni 25% of the tuition fee (£2950) and this amount again in the first term in 2017, so £5000. *Do I need to fund the £2950 myself for 2017 or am I still able to get a loan to cover it?* My accommodation is a huge issue as I am caught in a 1 year contract, unless I can find a new tenant that'll be £5000 for the year. SO, would dropping out potentially cost me £10,000? If so, this makes me feel incredibly guilty and even more depressed.
    Of course my parents want me to stick the year out and I wish I could but on a day-to-day basis it is extremely hard.

    Can someone give me some advice? I'm really stuck and panicky. I can't believe that as someone who has obviously never been to uni before it seems there is no option for me to change my mind.

    Cheers
    Homesickness is very common. I would go and speak to welfare and your tutor about it so you can see if it is saveable. For a small % of students it is not, be it not making friends, not liking the uni or just missing the comfort and security of home.

    Depending on your results, then even at this late stage you could see if there was the chance of a transfer or more likely you would reapply with a full choice for 2017.If you did manage a transfer them an not sure whetehr SFE would fund it, at least fro this term, in which case I dont think the taregt university would take you without payment. That means realistically you are looking at 2017.

    Of your issues:

    1. Payment to current uni will be on the webiste inder withdrawal procedures or fees. Its usual for term 1 to be 25% of total fees. Unfortunately you have waited 1 week too long as they normally let you go without charge up to 14 days or 3 weeks onto a course. This information is normally on the website, but you cna contact fees.Once you have left then there will be no need to pay the 2nd term instalment or any more to the Uni.SFE agree to fund you for the length if your course+1 gift year. the gift year is meant to cover mistakes like this. So you will have used it up but they will still cover you for the full length of any other course.

    2. Accommodation is normally you pay an admin fee and find a replacement. if its uni acommodation then its normally straightforward to find a repalcement to take over the contract. They may have a queue of people waiting or you may just have to advertise. It wont be incommon for students to be swapping and changing accommodation during this time. If you get everything organised then the sooner the better.

    3. So would dropping out cost you £10,000? Unlikely.More like £2,250 for this current term as you probably just missed the deadline.+ the cost of your accommodation + admin fee until you find a replacement. Read your agreement.No idea, but I would hope to have found someone on 1-2 months. Depends where you are. Ask accommodation hwo long i takes from their experience. There might be students who are only in temp accommodation that would jump at the chance.

    The alternative ofc is to stick it out and work on the things that make you unhappy. is it anxiety, loneliness, lack of friends etc? Ive seen more people overcome these issues and stick it out than those who quit early. You just have to be honest with yourself and make the best decision for you.

    If you decide to leave after having tlaked to the people suggested, then you might find it easier to persuade your parents if you have already talked to and shown them you have a plan for a local/ commutab ble uni, especially if you have the grades. That way you can take a gap year, get a job and earn money or get experience.If you show them the numbers and the plan plus the fact you have talked it over properly with your uni and your intended Uni, then that should reassure them. you will need to stick it out for a bit longer anyway as you need to find someone for the accommodation and you have paid for your course. maybe comrpomise and agree with them you will try for x weeks, but if you are still unhappy then you intend to leave and follow plan B.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Homesickness is very common. I would go and speak to welfare and your tutor about it so you can see if it is saveable. For a small % of students it is not, be it not making friends, not liking the uni or just missing the comfort and security of home.

    Depending on your results, then even at this late stage you could see if there was the chance of a transfer or more likely you would reapply with a full choice for 2017.If you did manage a transfer them an not sure whetehr SFE would fund it, at least fro this term, in which case I dont think the taregt university would take you without payment. That means realistically you are looking at 2017.

    Of your issues:

    1. Payment to current uni will be on the webiste inder withdrawal procedures or fees. Its usual for term 1 to be 25% of total fees. Unfortunately you have waited 1 week too long as they normally let you go without charge up to 14 days or 3 weeks onto a course. This information is normally on the website, but you cna contact fees.Once you have left then there will be no need to pay the 2nd term instalment or any more to the Uni.SFE agree to fund you for the length if your course+1 gift year. the gift year is meant to cover mistakes like this. So you will have used it up but they will still cover you for the full length of any other course.

    2. Accommodation is normally you pay an admin fee and find a replacement. if its uni acommodation then its normally straightforward to find a repalcement to take over the contract. They may have a queue of people waiting or you may just have to advertise. It wont be incommon for students to be swapping and changing accommodation during this time. If you get everything organised then the sooner the better.

    3. So would dropping out cost you £10,000? Unlikely.More like £2,250 for this current term as you probably just missed the deadline.+ the cost of your accommodation + admin fee until you find a replacement. Read your agreement.No idea, but I would hope to have found someone on 1-2 months. Depends where you are. Ask accommodation hwo long i takes from their experience. There might be students who are only in temp accommodation that would jump at the chance.

    The alternative ofc is to stick it out and work on the things that make you unhappy. is it anxiety, loneliness, lack of friends etc? Ive seen more people overcome these issues and stick it out than those who quit early. You just have to be honest with yourself and make the best decision for you.

    If you decide to leave after having tlaked to the people suggested, then you might find it easier to persuade your parents if you have already talked to and shown them you have a plan for a local/ commutab ble uni, especially if you have the grades. That way you can take a gap year, get a job and earn money or get experience.If you show them the numbers and the plan plus the fact you have talked it over properly with your uni and your intended Uni, then that should reassure them. you will need to stick it out for a bit longer anyway as you need to find someone for the accommodation and you have paid for your course. maybe comrpomise and agree with them you will try for x weeks, but if you are still unhappy then you intend to leave and follow plan B.
    Thank you sooo much! This is really helpful, especially about the gift year- I didn't know that was a thing. I wasn't able to get a transfer for this year. Thank you for all your advice on accommodation as well.
    I have told my parents of my plan, their main concern was the money issues. So, thank you so much for your advice regarding that.
    I am also going to speak to student welfare aswel because I do want to prove to my parents that I am trying.
    It's an awkward situation because I'd like to make it to Christmas to make the most of the tuition fee, but then looking at it this is actually the longest term- so I shall try to make it. Still 10 weeks though, and I've only been here 3 and feel like that's been forever!!
    Anyway thank you so so much!
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    (Original post by motherofschmode)
    Thank you sooo much! This is really helpful, especially about the gift year- I didn't know that was a thing. I wasn't able to get a transfer for this year. Thank you for all your advice on accommodation as well.
    I have told my parents of my plan, their main concern was the money issues. So, thank you so much for your advice regarding that.
    I am also going to speak to student welfare aswel because I do want to prove to my parents that I am trying.
    It's an awkward situation because I'd like to make it to Christmas to make the most of the tuition fee, but then looking at it this is actually the longest term- so I shall try to make it. Still 10 weeks though, and I've only been here 3 and feel like that's been forever!!
    Anyway thank you so so much!
    Everything I told you is more or less correct. Its better you contact the people I suggested for confirmation. All the information is on the website.

    The other issue I didnt mention is that when you leave then SFE is likley to wnat money back it reagrds as an overpayment, so dont go wild with your mainetance loan money. They might agree an arrangement with you.

    Try and make an effort, Ive know people who were incredibly homesick at first, but once they found their feet, they were fiercely independent and hardly ever went home. Trust your gut instinct on it and be honest with yourself, then you will have no regrets.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Everything I told you is more or less correct. Its better you contact the people I suggested for confirmation. All the information is on the website.

    The other issue I didnt mention is that when you leave then SFE is likley to wnat money back it reagrds as an overpayment, so dont go wild with your mainetance loan money. They might agree an arrangement with you.

    Try and make an effort, Ive know people who were incredibly homesick at first, but once they found their feet, they were fiercely independent and hardly ever went home. Trust your gut instinct on it and be honest with yourself, then you will have no regrets.
    Will do.

    My maintenance loan doesn't even cover my accommodation so I don't have any to spend anyway! but thanks for the warning.

    OK, that's good to know.
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    (Original post by motherofschmode)
    Hi thanks for you reply. You make some valid points, especially on the independence aspect. However I do believe that you can learn to be independent and still live at home, for example I can cook for my family. It's just this "independence" I am experiencing now is more just...loneliness. I think people have different ideas on what being truly independent means.

    I would most probably do the same course. None of my close friends went to university, so they are all back home and I don't really have anyone to share the experience with.

    I am actually arranging an appointment to speak to student welfare and am starting a course to help. So I am trying! As you said, I will try my best to keep going.
    My point, being highly depressing, is that you won't always have your family or friends around. Getting used to living alone gives you the ability to travel with work, move cities/country and be fully independent. When I say fully independent I mean not having to rely on other people, not quite to the extent of being 100% self-sufficient, but just enough that you don't need your family and friends for comfort at every turn. You can always make new friends where you are; it just takes serious effort to do so.
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    (Original post by I is you)
    My point, being highly depressing, is that you won't always have your family or friends around. Getting used to living alone gives you the ability to travel with work, move cities/country and be fully independent. When I say fully independent I mean not having to rely on other people, not quite to the extent of being 100% self-sufficient, but just enough that you don't need your family and friends for comfort at every turn. You can always make new friends where you are; it just takes serious effort to do so.
    I know, you are right. Uni life is getting me down though, it's not just the independence aspect. But thanks
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    no one should feel trapped in an enclosed cage, u are not an animal. pls escape asap
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    (Original post by iamux)
    no one should feel trapped in an enclosed cage, u are not an animal. pls escape asap
    Haha, it does make me kinda angry but in a way in feeling forced to be here it will prevent me from making any rash decisions and is making me push myself, hopefully in a good way
 
 
 
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