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right..i need to get this out
I'm posting this in H&R as I don’t really know where else out to post it.
Exam results. I understand it's looming for most people and it's hard for you so I wish you the best of luck.
I did really badly in my AS's on the verge of failing but I chose to continue to year 13. I had the grades to keep going so I did. I promised myself I would do better in my resists. I sensed a change and when I left the exam halls in January, I thought I'd done better and made myself proud. Here I felt confident (not being so most of the time). However when I got my results it had made no difference, and it seemed like all my hard work had been in vain.
I somehow picked myself up, again changing my technique in how I studied to prepare for my final exams and with this came new confidence. I worked non stop, pushing everyone away from my self since late March. Here I lost several friends, but if it was for uni then it would be worth it. I'd found the perfect career, I did work experience and it gave me hope as I found that is what I really wanted to be.
erm May time when everyone started to panic, my routine increased. 10 hours of revision minimum on weekdays in the library. I had to make it. Pressure, from parents, teachers, even friends just pushed me down and I made myself continue. I cut down my diet, naturally. eating only a sandwich for lunch at 12, and not eating a small/normal meal at dinner as anymore would make me feel sick. I genuinely lost about a stone and a half in weight but I couldn't eat anymore.
When I finished, I was relieved, however emotionally down and distraught. My close friend pushed me away completely because I was still "cold". I couldn’t help it, it was part of me now.
It's now looming to results day. Sadly. I haven't been sleeping properly, about 5 hours in the past 3 days. I can't help it, I just worry non stop and there's nothing I can do about it. I normally use the internet till midnight. My mum yesterday caught me on at 1.30 am. I was online because I couldn’t sleep, not online so I wouldn't sleep. She thought I was online because my friends are important and I'm not taking things seriously. It was only because if I'm alone and awake I brood and can't stop thinking about failing. I can't help it.
It's getting to the point when I've just broken down and pushed everyone away. My dad keeps tempting me with "treats" but I couldn’t care less. I just feel so crap and horrid. I'm become snappy maybe because of lack of sleep but it doesn't matter. She keeps saying I should move out or something, and I have nowhere else to go. I can't help it and I'm sorry but she just says "well if you fail, you fail, nothing you can do" I accept that but I don't need that. I asked her today "Are you proud of me?" She told me not to start snapping and arguing and so forth. I was in tears but I didn't even mean to get her angry.
I don't know how to feel.
The thing is, I wish she could see this, or anyone as they'd know how much I've put into my exams. I just don't know what to do. So that’s me…Kind of needed to let it out. Does anyone have any advice or just…yeah.
Exam results. I understand it's looming for most people and it's hard for you so I wish you the best of luck.
I did really badly in my AS's on the verge of failing but I chose to continue to year 13. I had the grades to keep going so I did. I promised myself I would do better in my resists. I sensed a change and when I left the exam halls in January, I thought I'd done better and made myself proud. Here I felt confident (not being so most of the time). However when I got my results it had made no difference, and it seemed like all my hard work had been in vain.
I somehow picked myself up, again changing my technique in how I studied to prepare for my final exams and with this came new confidence. I worked non stop, pushing everyone away from my self since late March. Here I lost several friends, but if it was for uni then it would be worth it. I'd found the perfect career, I did work experience and it gave me hope as I found that is what I really wanted to be.
erm May time when everyone started to panic, my routine increased. 10 hours of revision minimum on weekdays in the library. I had to make it. Pressure, from parents, teachers, even friends just pushed me down and I made myself continue. I cut down my diet, naturally. eating only a sandwich for lunch at 12, and not eating a small/normal meal at dinner as anymore would make me feel sick. I genuinely lost about a stone and a half in weight but I couldn't eat anymore.
When I finished, I was relieved, however emotionally down and distraught. My close friend pushed me away completely because I was still "cold". I couldn’t help it, it was part of me now.
It's now looming to results day. Sadly. I haven't been sleeping properly, about 5 hours in the past 3 days. I can't help it, I just worry non stop and there's nothing I can do about it. I normally use the internet till midnight. My mum yesterday caught me on at 1.30 am. I was online because I couldn’t sleep, not online so I wouldn't sleep. She thought I was online because my friends are important and I'm not taking things seriously. It was only because if I'm alone and awake I brood and can't stop thinking about failing. I can't help it.
It's getting to the point when I've just broken down and pushed everyone away. My dad keeps tempting me with "treats" but I couldn’t care less. I just feel so crap and horrid. I'm become snappy maybe because of lack of sleep but it doesn't matter. She keeps saying I should move out or something, and I have nowhere else to go. I can't help it and I'm sorry but she just says "well if you fail, you fail, nothing you can do" I accept that but I don't need that. I asked her today "Are you proud of me?" She told me not to start snapping and arguing and so forth. I was in tears but I didn't even mean to get her angry.
I don't know how to feel. The thing is, I wish she could see this, or anyone as they'd know how much I've put into my exams. I just don't know what to do. So that’s me…Kind of needed to let it out. Does anyone have any advice or just…yeah.
Reply 1
herbal bug
The thing is, I wish she could see this
Print it out and leave it somewhere where she'll read it??
If you're finding it difficult to communicate then its probably the best way to let her know how bad you feel - maybe she'll be a bit more sympathetic!
Ouch. I'm really sorry to hear about all that. In a way you should be looking forward to results day, because at least all this suspense that keeps you awake at night will be relieved and you'll be in a position to do something positive for your future, rather than be stuck in limbo as you are at present.
Remember, whatever results you get won't decide your future. If, unfortunately, they prevent you from getting to your dream career, then perhaps you'll need to do more retakes on the modules you did worst on to help you along. It'd be hard work so you'd need to decide if it's worth it. But, then, there are plenty of other things you could do. May I ask what your dream career is? Is it something that requires a degree? Many jobs can be obtained through working your way up and gathering experience. A lot of employers these days actually prefer experienced non-grads to inexperienced grads. Also, remember that there are plenty of careers out there, so there may be many to suit you.
On the other hand, you might do much better in your A levels than you anticipate, and be able to pursue the route you prefer. Either way, your life isn't over and you can push for success. Some people believe that "everything works out for the best"; I say, life is what you make of it and you can do almost anything you want so long as you have drive and determination.
Remember that everything you do about your future, your A levels, etc, is for you, and not for teachers and parents. Try not to get into the trap of thinking everything you do is to make people proud of you - it's all about your choices and your decisions. My parents aren't the types to say they're proud of me, either, but I know that underneath that they are. As for friends: well, you're in quite a transitory stage of your life right now. After school you may get a job or go to university or into training - whatever you do, you'll meet lots of new people and make new friends. Schoolfriends quickly become part of the past; I know that most of my friendships from school have diminished a lot, even though I still see them sometimes. You will change a lot as the next few years go by. It's a shame that your friends couldn't understand your desire to do well, but honestly, you would always have moved on from them anyway.
All the best and good luck to you
Remember, whatever results you get won't decide your future. If, unfortunately, they prevent you from getting to your dream career, then perhaps you'll need to do more retakes on the modules you did worst on to help you along. It'd be hard work so you'd need to decide if it's worth it. But, then, there are plenty of other things you could do. May I ask what your dream career is? Is it something that requires a degree? Many jobs can be obtained through working your way up and gathering experience. A lot of employers these days actually prefer experienced non-grads to inexperienced grads. Also, remember that there are plenty of careers out there, so there may be many to suit you.
On the other hand, you might do much better in your A levels than you anticipate, and be able to pursue the route you prefer. Either way, your life isn't over and you can push for success. Some people believe that "everything works out for the best"; I say, life is what you make of it and you can do almost anything you want so long as you have drive and determination.
Remember that everything you do about your future, your A levels, etc, is for you, and not for teachers and parents. Try not to get into the trap of thinking everything you do is to make people proud of you - it's all about your choices and your decisions. My parents aren't the types to say they're proud of me, either, but I know that underneath that they are. As for friends: well, you're in quite a transitory stage of your life right now. After school you may get a job or go to university or into training - whatever you do, you'll meet lots of new people and make new friends. Schoolfriends quickly become part of the past; I know that most of my friendships from school have diminished a lot, even though I still see them sometimes. You will change a lot as the next few years go by. It's a shame that your friends couldn't understand your desire to do well, but honestly, you would always have moved on from them anyway.
All the best and good luck to you
Reply 3
I just left it up here on my user name, and who I am on TSR. She started to read it and then she closed the page and told me to quit moaning. I think that options out of the window, thanks anyway.
Reply 4
What is it with the Indian culture and having pushy parents when it comes to school work! Makes me angry, i have witnessed it so many times when their parents just cant handle the fact that their child is not academic!!!!
Its like a sin if their child goes into the brick laying.
Sometimes its the other way round too, if the parents dont say anything, then the child is upset cause they arent gving them any attention to their studies. I know which one id rather have.
I think you shouldnt worry at all what your parents think, cause i certainly dont! I want to do well for myself, im the only one who knows when to have a break from studying, not my parents!
Education for the Indian culture is also very similar to relationships! 'But i want to please my parents'.....'I want them to be proud' 'Are you proud of me mummy?' She says 'I dont know' then the child cries .......Its quite pathetic....
I know i have generalised, but it does happen very often.
Its like a sin if their child goes into the brick laying.
Sometimes its the other way round too, if the parents dont say anything, then the child is upset cause they arent gving them any attention to their studies. I know which one id rather have.
I think you shouldnt worry at all what your parents think, cause i certainly dont! I want to do well for myself, im the only one who knows when to have a break from studying, not my parents!
Education for the Indian culture is also very similar to relationships! 'But i want to please my parents'.....'I want them to be proud' 'Are you proud of me mummy?' She says 'I dont know' then the child cries .......Its quite pathetic....
I know i have generalised, but it does happen very often.
Reply 5
have no great advice, i'm sorry. just, try to hold on tight til thursday and then, when you see you have passed, (although i understand you being very nervous and anxious and doubtful. but i have lots of faith!) and you can breathe again, you will be in a much better state mentally to deal with things and address your mum's behaviour.
she's probably as worried for you as you are or, if not, just on the receiving end of your worry and so a bit peeved! she isn't being very supportive but she doesn't particularly sound like she wants to hear that so i suppose you might have to just, kinda, let it go.
i really, really, hope it all turns out well for you. xxxx
she's probably as worried for you as you are or, if not, just on the receiving end of your worry and so a bit peeved! she isn't being very supportive but she doesn't particularly sound like she wants to hear that so i suppose you might have to just, kinda, let it go.
i really, really, hope it all turns out well for you. xxxx
Ok, first thing's first - stop stressing.
You've GOT to stop stressing. The likelihood of why you're doing so badly is probably because you're working too hard. My mum as a teenager at one point panicked about her exams so much so that she worked 7 days without sleep or something crazy like that. She came back with a fail. Normally in school, she's top of the class.
And to use another example, one of my good friends - she has to work a lot harder than most to get the same grades. And she worked so hard that she was really really stressed and she aimed for all the wrong grades (eg, unrealistic grades) and she came back with disastrous results at AS. At A2, she changed her tactic - she decided that she would work hard but she's not gonna let it make her stress. In the end, she got good grades that she could never have dreamt of getting a year ago, and got into her dream uni, University of Nottingham.
If you're not eating and sleeping properly, that's gonna affect performance - you're not gonna be able to think straight and absorb as much as you could've when you work.
You need to learn to relax - be it listen to music, write, read a book, go out for a walk, go out clubbing or hang out with friends. Go out! For every hour that you've worked, give yourself a 10min break. Give yourself treats, like if you'd got through this chapter today, you would treat yourself to a top you've always wanted, or a show you wanna watch on TV, or just go and make yourself a cup of tea. Reward yourself. If you'd been working all week, find one day out of the week where you will NOT work. Don't think about work, don't even touch any textbooks - but just do something you'd really enjoy and love. Arrange to meet a friend at the weekends so you have something to look forward to. Work completely without relaxation is destructive and it makes you do badly in exams.
And also - aim realistically. If your ability levels are B grades, then aim for an A but be happy with a B. If your ability levels are C grades, then aim for a B but be happy with a C. Know your abilities and know your level - you can't be good at everything or perfect at everything. If your level is a C grade and you're aiming for an A, you're simply setting yourself up for disappointment. But of course, likewise if your ability level is an A grade then aim for that A. At the end of the day, you must be realistic about your abilities.
All the best
You've GOT to stop stressing. The likelihood of why you're doing so badly is probably because you're working too hard. My mum as a teenager at one point panicked about her exams so much so that she worked 7 days without sleep or something crazy like that. She came back with a fail. Normally in school, she's top of the class.
And to use another example, one of my good friends - she has to work a lot harder than most to get the same grades. And she worked so hard that she was really really stressed and she aimed for all the wrong grades (eg, unrealistic grades) and she came back with disastrous results at AS. At A2, she changed her tactic - she decided that she would work hard but she's not gonna let it make her stress. In the end, she got good grades that she could never have dreamt of getting a year ago, and got into her dream uni, University of Nottingham.
If you're not eating and sleeping properly, that's gonna affect performance - you're not gonna be able to think straight and absorb as much as you could've when you work.
You need to learn to relax - be it listen to music, write, read a book, go out for a walk, go out clubbing or hang out with friends. Go out! For every hour that you've worked, give yourself a 10min break. Give yourself treats, like if you'd got through this chapter today, you would treat yourself to a top you've always wanted, or a show you wanna watch on TV, or just go and make yourself a cup of tea. Reward yourself. If you'd been working all week, find one day out of the week where you will NOT work. Don't think about work, don't even touch any textbooks - but just do something you'd really enjoy and love. Arrange to meet a friend at the weekends so you have something to look forward to. Work completely without relaxation is destructive and it makes you do badly in exams.
And also - aim realistically. If your ability levels are B grades, then aim for an A but be happy with a B. If your ability levels are C grades, then aim for a B but be happy with a C. Know your abilities and know your level - you can't be good at everything or perfect at everything. If your level is a C grade and you're aiming for an A, you're simply setting yourself up for disappointment. But of course, likewise if your ability level is an A grade then aim for that A. At the end of the day, you must be realistic about your abilities.
All the best
Reply 7
irisng
Ok, first thing's first - stop stressing.
You've GOT to stop stressing. The likelihood of why you're doing so badly is probably because you're working too hard. My mum as a teenager at one point panicked about her exams so much so that she worked 7 days without sleep or something crazy like that. She came back with a fail. Normally in school, she's top of the class.
And to use another example, one of my good friends - she has to work a lot harder than most to get the same grades. And she worked so hard that she was really really stressed and she aimed for all the wrong grades (eg, unrealistic grades) and she came back with disastrous results at AS. At A2, she changed her tactic - she decided that she would work hard but she's not gonna let it make her stress. In the end, she got good grades that she could never have dreamt of getting a year ago, and got into her dream uni, University of Nottingham.
If you're not eating and sleeping properly, that's gonna affect performance - you're not gonna be able to think straight and absorb as much as you could've when you work.
You need to learn to relax - be it listen to music, write, read a book, go out for a walk, go out clubbing or hang out with friends. Go out! For every hour that you've worked, give yourself a 10min break. Give yourself treats, like if you'd got through this chapter today, you would treat yourself to a top you've always wanted, or a show you wanna watch on TV, or just go and make yourself a cup of tea. Reward yourself. If you'd been working all week, find one day out of the week where you will NOT work. Don't think about work, don't even touch any textbooks - but just do something you'd really enjoy and love. Arrange to meet a friend at the weekends so you have something to look forward to. Work completely without relaxation is destructive and it makes you do badly in exams.
And also - aim realistically. If your ability levels are B grades, then aim for an A but be happy with a B. If your ability levels are C grades, then aim for a B but be happy with a C. Know your abilities and know your level - you can't be good at everything or perfect at everything. If your level is a C grade and you're aiming for an A, you're simply setting yourself up for disappointment. But of course, likewise if your ability level is an A grade then aim for that A. At the end of the day, you must be realistic about your abilities.
All the best
You've GOT to stop stressing. The likelihood of why you're doing so badly is probably because you're working too hard. My mum as a teenager at one point panicked about her exams so much so that she worked 7 days without sleep or something crazy like that. She came back with a fail. Normally in school, she's top of the class.
And to use another example, one of my good friends - she has to work a lot harder than most to get the same grades. And she worked so hard that she was really really stressed and she aimed for all the wrong grades (eg, unrealistic grades) and she came back with disastrous results at AS. At A2, she changed her tactic - she decided that she would work hard but she's not gonna let it make her stress. In the end, she got good grades that she could never have dreamt of getting a year ago, and got into her dream uni, University of Nottingham.
If you're not eating and sleeping properly, that's gonna affect performance - you're not gonna be able to think straight and absorb as much as you could've when you work.
You need to learn to relax - be it listen to music, write, read a book, go out for a walk, go out clubbing or hang out with friends. Go out! For every hour that you've worked, give yourself a 10min break. Give yourself treats, like if you'd got through this chapter today, you would treat yourself to a top you've always wanted, or a show you wanna watch on TV, or just go and make yourself a cup of tea. Reward yourself. If you'd been working all week, find one day out of the week where you will NOT work. Don't think about work, don't even touch any textbooks - but just do something you'd really enjoy and love. Arrange to meet a friend at the weekends so you have something to look forward to. Work completely without relaxation is destructive and it makes you do badly in exams.
And also - aim realistically. If your ability levels are B grades, then aim for an A but be happy with a B. If your ability levels are C grades, then aim for a B but be happy with a C. Know your abilities and know your level - you can't be good at everything or perfect at everything. If your level is a C grade and you're aiming for an A, you're simply setting yourself up for disappointment. But of course, likewise if your ability level is an A grade then aim for that A. At the end of the day, you must be realistic about your abilities.
All the best
So true. Its quite obvious that you are going to under perform during exams if you arent sleeping, arent eating properly and worrying about what other people think. It leads to panicing and stress. Exams arent that big of a deal. Its not the end of the world if you mess up.
Reply 8
I always say: Expect the worse and hope for the best!
Exam results can be totally gut renching. Don't worry about it. What's done is done. No use stressing about it. You can't go back and change it. You must move on from it with the experience you learned from it.
Good luck on your results!
Exam results can be totally gut renching. Don't worry about it. What's done is done. No use stressing about it. You can't go back and change it. You must move on from it with the experience you learned from it. Good luck on your results!
Reply 9
You are not alone. Everyone nearly has some stress with exam results. I know I did. But I am really hopeful that everyone on TSR will do as well as they want.
But it is important to remember that exams aren't the be all and end all. Even of you don't do amazingly in your exams, there is always something you are good at - take your poetry for example, so much better than mine could ever be, I love it.
Good luck to all who are waiting for results.
Reply 10
thanks guys for the responses, i do feel slightly better. I want to become an audiogist (hearing doctor) and sadly the only way i can do this by obtaining a BSc of audiology so, the other route involves taking a btec and then the Bsc, but I dont think I could do that.
again thanks for the replies and i'm gonna keep reading this thread as the advice given is appreciated.
again thanks for the replies and i'm gonna keep reading this thread as the advice given is appreciated.
Reply 11
I used to have this problem ( but perhaps not as extreme as yours) and all you can do (from my experience) is to relax. Once you handed your test paper in, you have done all you can. At this point it is out of your hands and thinking about isn't going to make things any better, it will just make you feel awful. You can get through this, cause I did ^^.
Good luck, I'm sure you have done just fine.
Good luck, I'm sure you have done just fine.
Reply 12
herbal bug
thanks guys for the responses, i do feel slightly better. I want to become an audiogist (hearing doctor) and sadly the only way i can do this by obtaining a BSc of audiology so, the other route involves taking a btec and then the Bsc, but I dont think I could do that.
again thanks for the replies and i'm gonna keep reading this thread as the advice given is appreciated.
again thanks for the replies and i'm gonna keep reading this thread as the advice given is appreciated.
But if you arent going to get the grades or you are working way to hard in achieving them, then maybe thats telling you, that the job just isnt right for you? We all cant get what we want, no matter how hard we work.
However, if you dont get your grades, there could be other courses available for that type of job.
We cant just cry because we arent academic enough to be a doctor.
Whatever path you follow, will the be right one, and will make you happy.
Reply 13
Its only come across my mind today for the first time in ages, im just excited and cant wait for thursday to come, what i am worried about though is my lifeguard exam the day before this wednesday 
Reply 14
Hi
I do honestly know how stressful this whole waiting for exam results is as I'm in the same boat as you. And I worked so hard for my a-levels but when it came to the exams I don't it was enough, I have to work very hard to get anywhere whereas all my friends seem to be able to do it without any effort!
But there is nothing you can do until thursday, much as I hate to admit it.
Just hang in there and try your hardest to keep yourself going! It's hard to deal with anything or anyone else when you're stressed.
Just do what you can to keep yourself occupied, watch some dvds and maybe have a hot milky drink and a bath or something before you go to bed? Sleeping is important at times like this.
I do honestly know how stressful this whole waiting for exam results is as I'm in the same boat as you. And I worked so hard for my a-levels but when it came to the exams I don't it was enough, I have to work very hard to get anywhere whereas all my friends seem to be able to do it without any effort!
But there is nothing you can do until thursday, much as I hate to admit it.
Just hang in there and try your hardest to keep yourself going! It's hard to deal with anything or anyone else when you're stressed.
Just do what you can to keep yourself occupied, watch some dvds and maybe have a hot milky drink and a bath or something before you go to bed? Sleeping is important at times like this.
I wasn't quite as bad, but last year I used to have panic attacks and stuff just worrying over exams and homeworks and I always did ok. But i realised that it's ok to be worried it's just how you deal with the worrying that's the important part. Just try to relax and tell yourself it's not the end of the world, whatever happens it's the start of something new in your life so just enjoy it for what it is. Go see your friends, catch up with your family and most importantly try and get some sleep.
Bear_Grylls
Its only come across my mind today for the first time in ages, im just excited and cant wait for thursday to come, what i am worried about though is my lifeguard exam the day before this wednesday
Same, I feel like I should be more worried, especially since I know I didn't get all the grades I want... but the UKCAT exam on Wed is preoccupying me at the moment! Good luck for your lifeguard exam!
And OP, it seems as though now you've put all your energies into your exams, you feel that your happiness and future life rests on these results. It doesn't! If you don't get the results then it doesn't matter. Have another go, retake a few modules, apply again. If you don't want to do that, reconsider and look at other things you could go into. It sounds as though you want to have a caring sort of job, so if not audiology, how about occupational therapy? Social work? Midwifery? Nursing? There's tons of jobs out there; there's bound to be something you'd be just as happy doing.
Ring up that close friend (or write a letter if you don't want to phone) and apologise for being a bit distant over the past few months. Ask to meet up and do something you both used to do together... it could be a welcome distraction from results at least. And talk to your mum when she's not distracted by anything else, ask her to hear you out and explain honestly how you feel (I know she started to read your post, but she can't exactly shut you down when you're talking to her, can she?) She probably doesn't even realise what her expectations are doing to you.
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