i dont like it at uni.

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    all my friends(i took a year out) made out like uni was amazing and fun and so much better than a level. they said while the work was more advanced, the learning style was more enjoyable, less stressful, and you have more time to yourselves. they also said how great it was to live alone, to share with flatmates who you basically immediately become bffls with.

    im not feeling that.
    where are they getting that from? whats wrong with me? i dont get it. im doing maths and computer science and im so overwhelmed by work. i get it most of the time but there is just so much to do that if one thing trips me up, the time it takes for me to work out where i went wrong causes me to fall behind on a whole bunch of other things, so i just have no idea whats going on at all. i feel like my attention span has shrunk to the sze of a pea. i can barely read words off a page or parse what the lecturer is saying half the time, even if its not hard stuff, i just cant understand the words being said.
    i think im not doing too badly work wise, but im not enjoying it. its too much. its horrible.
    people say that you have so much more time to do what you want. where? when? how? theres so much t do. people i know do all their work and watch tv shows and play video games and do sports and go out to socials and go camping for the weekend etc etc and i just dont. know. how. i do try and socialise but it is to the detriment of my work. i mainly only do it because people insist i come out, or because im weak and procrastinating. its not time i can spare. i cant cope with shopping for myself. for budgeting. cooking. cleaning. just everything. i feel pathetic. i was so organised before i got here. i worked and budgeted on my gap year, i got exercise, i got up early. i cant do any of that now. im so tired all the time and i havent even gone out since the middle of freshers week. plus im ill.
    my flatmates are nice enough but i just need time alone. i cant deal with my friends living so close to me. i need to hide and recharge sometimes and i cant say no to people. im so tired. im struggling. i want to go home. i should be working right now on coursework. i want to talk to someone but i dont know how. how is this better than A level? its the same but you are in a strange place with strange people, looking after yourself, with minimal support! the lecturers say you can talk to them but what do i say? sorry im an idiot and i cant do anything you ask, please fix me? theyre busy people, they cant hold my hand.

    honestly, i get that im being a huge baby about this and that everyone is dealing with it. so im just wondering what the hell is wrong with me! has anyone gone through feeling like this and it got better? or has everyone who likes uni always liked it from the start and im just naturally bad at uni? maybe i dont belong here. i want to talk to my new friends about it but i dont want to burden them so early into knowing each other, especially since the group ive sort of formed is made up of people who seemed more confused and depressed than i am. and i havent seen or spoken to my old friends in ages so id feel selfish to just start ranting to them about it.

    i just want to go home
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    (Original post by EmergencyBagels)
    all my friends(i took a year out) made out like uni was amazing and fun and so much better than a level. they said while the work was more advanced, the learning style was more enjoyable, less stressful, and you have more time to yourselves. they also said how great it was to live alone, to share with flatmates who you basically immediately become bffls with.

    im not feeling that.
    where are they getting that from? whats wrong with me? i dont get it. im doing maths and computer science and im so overwhelmed by work. i get it most of the time but there is just so much to do that if one thing trips me up, the time it takes for me to work out where i went wrong causes me to fall behind on a whole bunch of other things, so i just have no idea whats going on at all. i feel like my attention span has shrunk to the sze of a pea. i can barely read words off a page or parse what the lecturer is saying half the time, even if its not hard stuff, i just cant understand the words being said.
    i think im not doing too badly work wise, but im not enjoying it. its too much. its horrible.
    people say that you have so much more time to do what you want. where? when? how? theres so much t do. people i know do all their work and watch tv shows and play video games and do sports and go out to socials and go camping for the weekend etc etc and i just dont. know. how. i do try and socialise but it is to the detriment of my work. i mainly only do it because people insist i come out, or because im weak and procrastinating. its not time i can spare. i cant cope with shopping for myself. for budgeting. cooking. cleaning. just everything. i feel pathetic. i was so organised before i got here. i worked and budgeted on my gap year, i got exercise, i got up early. i cant do any of that now. im so tired all the time and i havent even gone out since the middle of freshers week. plus im ill.
    my flatmates are nice enough but i just need time alone. i cant deal with my friends living so close to me. i need to hide and recharge sometimes and i cant say no to people. im so tired. im struggling. i want to go home. i should be working right now on coursework. i want to talk to someone but i dont know how. how is this better than A level? its the same but you are in a strange place with strange people, looking after yourself, with minimal support! the lecturers say you can talk to them but what do i say? sorry im an idiot and i cant do anything you ask, please fix me? theyre busy people, they cant hold my hand.

    honestly, i get that im being a huge baby about this and that everyone is dealing with it. so im just wondering what the hell is wrong with me! has anyone gone through feeling like this and it got better? or has everyone who likes uni always liked it from the start and im just naturally bad at uni? maybe i dont belong here. i want to talk to my new friends about it but i dont want to burden them so early into knowing each other, especially since the group ive sort of formed is made up of people who seemed more confused and depressed than i am. and i havent seen or spoken to my old friends in ages so id feel selfish to just start ranting to them about it.

    i just want to go home
    Independent learning takes time to get the hang off, it will take you time to figure out what to prioritise your study time on. Some universities have support on various bits of university study though their libraries so go to yours and see if there's anything available. There's a reason why the 1st year of a degree doesnt count towards your classification, this year is to get you up to speed so dont worry about not knowing everything when its only your 1st month there.
    You mention being tired all the time and being ill, are you registered with your uni gp, you might want to go for a check up.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    Independent learning takes time to get the hang off, it will take you time to figure out what to prioritise your study time on. Some universities have support on various bits of university study though their libraries so go to yours and see if there's anything available. There's a reason why the 1st year of a degree doesnt count towards your classification, this year is to get you up to speed so dont worry about not knowing everything when its only your 1st month there.
    You mention being tired all the time and being ill, are you registered with your uni gp, you might want to go for a check up.
    i guess, i just dont know how anyone else is surviving, or how anyone enjoys it. ive been to the gp, and have a history with thyroid problems so i am having a blood test soon. but im just stressed and cant sleep mostly. thanks for the reply by he way.

    id be interested to know if anyone has any personal accounts of getting support at uni, and what it was like, emotionally or acadmically
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    (Original post by EmergencyBagels)
    i guess, i just dont know how anyone else is surviving, or how anyone enjoys it. ive been to the gp, and have a history with thyroid problems so i am having a blood test soon. but im just stressed and cant sleep mostly. thanks for the reply by he way.

    id be interested to know if anyone has any personal accounts of getting support at uni, and what it was like, emotionally or acadmically
    Oh,also some universities offer confidential counselling and peer support systems, so look into those too. Hopefully the doctors will be able to get your thyroid problems sorted soon if that is what it is, it's understandable that you are struggling if you are feeling tired all the time and i m sure things will get much easier once your illness is sorted out.
    If it is specific bits of the course you are struggling with, there's nothing wrong with a specific email to a lecturer, for example something like " I was reading about x concept but struggle to understand y" as long as they can see that you are trying to get some understanding of the topic rather than go straight to them for help, they should be helpful hopefullt.
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    Some people take longer to adjust. Why not go home for an extended weekend just to wind down a bit?
    I cnat see how cooking, cleaning, budgeting etc takes such a long time?
    Keep on top of your work, its often about working smarter.
    Learn to say no if you dont wnat to go out.
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    Oh,also some universities offer confidential counselling and peer support systems, so look into those too. Hopefully the doctors will be able to get your thyroid problems sorted soon if that is what it is, it's understandable that you are struggling if you are feeling tired all the time and i m sure things will get much easier once your illness is sorted out.
    If it is specific bits of the course you are struggling with, there's nothing wrong with a specific email to a lecturer, for example something like " I was reading about x concept but struggle to understand y" as long as they can see that you are trying to get some understanding of the topic rather than go straight to them for help, they should be helpful hopefullt.
    i have been considering looking into them so i might do that, i have some other personal stuff which has been affecting me since ive been here which i think would be good to talk to someone about
    i think my thyroid MAY be better tho (blood test will tell me), it might just be that im lazy or go to bed too late i dunno. i am worried im just blaming my health on my poor decisions.
    i guess that doesnt sound too scary ..

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Some people take longer to adjust. Why not go home for an extended weekend just to wind down a bit?
    I cnat see how cooking, cleaning, budgeting etc takes such a long time?
    Keep on top of your work, its often about working smarter.
    Learn to say no if you dont wnat to go out.
    i live far from uni but i think ill visit home soon.. worried about getting behind though. it doesnt take that much time it just builds up and is more to think about
    i think i will definitely start having to say no i just feel guilty
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    (Original post by EmergencyBagels)



    i live far from uni but i think ill visit home soon.. worried about getting behind though. it doesnt take that much time it just builds up and is more to think about
    i think i will definitely start having to say no i just feel guilty
    It sounds like you arent getting on too bad, but other things are unsettling you and you are projecting a bit. You sound much better than many on here, no friends, housemates who bully them , accommodation they hate and a course they cant stand. Get a bit ahead then go home for 4-5 days if your lectures allow.

    If you dont have Friday free, then you cna alsiws ask the lecturer what will be covered and do it in advance. It also might quieten down a bit as people run out of money and get their own work to do. You never know you might even miss it when you are at home.
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    I can totally relate to the OP. I'm also studying computer science and I barely have time for anything other than keeping up with coursework and assignments. I so want to go and socialise with people but it's gonna be to the detriment of my work. I too am struggling with CS courses which is why I need to put in extra time to understand the material. Because of the studying and assignments, I am left with no time to go out and meet people and make friends. I don't know how to deal with it either.


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    Okay so i read all of that. Start off by speaking to your old friends (not necessarily 'ranting' to them, but a good catchup with those you care about is good for the soul). Maybe make some new friends by joining a society, and definitely see a doctor in regards to you being ill. It doesn't get better by itself, you will need to make moves if you want your university life to improve, wishing you all the best.
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    Go to your Disability Services at uni. They will point you in the direction of mentoring which will help you with organising your work and advise you on other things that are worrying you.
    The Thyroid issue can be a problem too as untreated it can have an effect on your general wellbeing - low mood, tiredness and cognitive skills. I have an underective thyroid and it can sometimes make life uncomfortable. X
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    (Original post by EmergencyBagels)
    i just want to go home
    not everyone is cut out for uni. you should consider stacking shelves or picking up a trade like carpentry. don't continue your degree prog if you don't have the interest to do so or worse know that the degree is a mickey mouse one which will not land you a real job in the real world.
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    One thought (to add to the mostly helpful suggestions already supplied) is that depending on what you did between A levels and starting university, you may well be a bit rusty (isn't maths one of the subjects where universities are least comfortable with someone deferring a place) so at this stage, a very few weeks in, it's not surprising your poor brain is creaking a bit from the effort. But you are making the effort so it will get better, and possibly very suddenly and very soon.
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    (Original post by EmergencyBagels)
    all my friends(i took a year out) made out like uni was amazing and fun and so much better than a level. they said while the work was more advanced, the learning style was more enjoyable, less stressful, and you have more time to yourselves. they also said how great it was to live alone, to share with flatmates who you basically immediately become bffls with.

    im not feeling that.
    where are they getting that from? whats wrong with me? i dont get it. im doing maths and computer science and im so overwhelmed by work. i get it most of the time but there is just so much to do that if one thing trips me up, the time it takes for me to work out where i went wrong causes me to fall behind on a whole bunch of other things, so i just have no idea whats going on at all. i feel like my attention span has shrunk to the sze of a pea. i can barely read words off a page or parse what the lecturer is saying half the time, even if its not hard stuff, i just cant understand the words being said.
    i think im not doing too badly work wise, but im not enjoying it. its too much. its horrible.
    people say that you have so much more time to do what you want. where? when? how? theres so much t do. people i know do all their work and watch tv shows and play video games and do sports and go out to socials and go camping for the weekend etc etc and i just dont. know. how. i do try and socialise but it is to the detriment of my work. i mainly only do it because people insist i come out, or because im weak and procrastinating. its not time i can spare. i cant cope with shopping for myself. for budgeting. cooking. cleaning. just everything. i feel pathetic. i was so organised before i got here. i worked and budgeted on my gap year, i got exercise, i got up early. i cant do any of that now. im so tired all the time and i havent even gone out since the middle of freshers week. plus im ill.
    my flatmates are nice enough but i just need time alone. i cant deal with my friends living so close to me. i need to hide and recharge sometimes and i cant say no to people. im so tired. im struggling. i want to go home. i should be working right now on coursework. i want to talk to someone but i dont know how. how is this better than A level? its the same but you are in a strange place with strange people, looking after yourself, with minimal support! the lecturers say you can talk to them but what do i say? sorry im an idiot and i cant do anything you ask, please fix me? theyre busy people, they cant hold my hand.

    honestly, i get that im being a huge baby about this and that everyone is dealing with it. so im just wondering what the hell is wrong with me! has anyone gone through feeling like this and it got better? or has everyone who likes uni always liked it from the start and im just naturally bad at uni? maybe i dont belong here. i want to talk to my new friends about it but i dont want to burden them so early into knowing each other, especially since the group ive sort of formed is made up of people who seemed more confused and depressed than i am. and i havent seen or spoken to my old friends in ages so id feel selfish to just start ranting to them about it.

    i just want to go home
    Dude I get it I mean I really do get it I've been in your situation and i mean exactly your situation although at 20 not (and I'm guessing) 19. I guess I'll tell you my story in the hope that it'll help you decide what to do.

    I originally applied to Portsmouth I got there and basically didn't stop crying for 24 hours straight. as the weeks went on I still felt just as homesick and unhappy as that first night i kind of with drew and became this sad guy people could see i wasn't happy someone actually said they had never seen anyone look more defeated, I don't think 1 week went by when something didn't make me cry.

    Over the Christmas break I had some time to think and by the 28th I had a plan I spoke to my tutor ( i had already failed a unit by this point) and left I git a job and applied to a uni closer to home where I graduated and was much much happier

    The point is you might not be ready yet or the place might be wrong or both why not wait a bit and apply again in a couple of years i wasn't ready even at twenty.

    or maybe uni isn't for you you could do an apprenticeship or look at the OU hope you feel better and hope i helped.

    Jon
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    I don't like it at uni either, although for slightly different reasons. I just feel stupid, I'm studying French and we're going over simple grammar and I'm struggling. I just feel like everyone is way more advanced than me. I feel tired too, making an effort with people and socialising is so exhausting. I'm really unsure if uni is for me tbh, I'm thinking of dropping out, not even sure if I want to do French and I've only been at uni for 3 weeks so far.

    I agree with what the people above said though, keep working on your stuff, maybe make a timetable for when you have free time and allocate when you'll do work and when you'll shop for food etc. And you are allowed to say no to people if you don't feel like going out, I'm sure they won't mind from time to time.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    It sounds like you arent getting on too bad, but other things are unsettling you and you are projecting a bit. You sound much better than many on here, no friends, housemates who bully them , accommodation they hate and a course they cant stand. Get a bit ahead then go home for 4-5 days if your lectures allow.
    i know i feel like it could be much worse, i guess i just feel a little conned since so many people make out like i was actually gonna actively enjoy it and that its actually fun. which i dont get. i cannot afford to miss lectures, i am behind enough as it is. visiting home for reading week and not even looking forward to it because i know im going to have to work.

    (Original post by phantzm)
    I can totally relate to the OP. I'm also studying computer science and I barely have time for anything other than keeping up with coursework and assignments.

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    sorry that you feel the same, the work load is unbelievable


    as for catching up with old friends i dont that would make me feel better. they all have new things and new friends and are having a good time, talking to them just sounds like an extra stress and would probably make me feel bad.

    (Original post by Seamus123)
    X
    ive got an appointment on the phone with wellbeing tomorrow so that may help. ive experienced underactive thyroid too, it sucks. but i dont really know whether its my thyroid still tho, i think i am just making excuses


    (Original post by dirtmother)
    it's not surprising your poor brain is creaking a bit from the effort. But you are making the effort so it will get better, and possibly very suddenly and very soon.
    i hope so, i was mostly just working in a shop in my year out and didnt do much work. taught myself a bit of code and a bit of FM but not very much so yeah im definitely rusty. while im trying to get unrusty the work is piling up though

    (Original post by jonathanemptage)
    x
    thanks for telling me about your experience. thing is i actually like the content of the course i just dont feel emotionally prepared to deal with it so i dont think id seriously consider dropping out just yet, but i will keep an open mind. glad you are happier now.

    (Original post by glo1806)
    I agree with what the people above said though, keep working on your stuff, maybe make a timetable for when you have free time and allocate when you'll do work and when you'll shop for food etc. And you are allowed to say no to people if you don't feel like going out, I'm sure they won't mind from time to time.
    sorry that you are having a hard time too, hope you are surviving ok
    i will try but im just so unmotivated and feeling so pessimistic and confused. and i have said no a bit but im not even joking when i say my new friends definitely DO mind if i turn them down



    phew this is really long, sorry everyone
 
 
 
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