How to stop caring for him when I feel he doesn't care as much for me

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    #1

    So theres a guy at work and we both started a kind of relationship. We're both managers but he has a small power over me so he makes final decisions at work and allocates me where to go. There are 2 places I can be, either with him in the office, or at the shop which is 15 minutes away. Once youre at the office, youre there the whole day and if I'm at the shop I'm there the whole day, however he always has to be in the office. So whenever I can I try to be with him at the office but he send me to the shop sometimes for like a week straight even though its not completely necessary, I could stay at the office. I obviously then miss him and he says he missed me too but I feel like he's just lying, if he did he wouldnt send me to the shop. And I'm 100% positive I don't NEED to be at the shop, not for that many consecutive days anyway. So I get that he's clearly not into this "relationship" thing as much as I am.

    We started out as FWB but I very quickly gained feelings for him and he has said to me that he likes me and he even buys me things quite often which makes me feel like he does genuinely have feelings for me. But then other times like how I've described above I feel like he's not interested at all and is just there for the sex, which tbh I'm fine with because thats the reason we started our FWB thing.

    But my main question is how do I not care for him and not have feelings for him so that I don't get hurt when he sends me to the shop? I feel rubbish at the end of the day when he send me there. And also, what does it sound like to you guys? Is he just wanting FWB?
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    er i think he just doesnt want to be around you ALL the time lol
    i wouldnt wanna be either
    time away = time to miss that person

    what he's doing is for the best of both of you


    so what im saying is look beyond your "hurt". Personally I also wouldnt wanna be with someone Im into while im working cause its distracting.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by medhelp)
    er i think he just doesnt want to be around you ALL the time lol
    i wouldnt wanna be either
    time away = time to miss that person

    what he's doing is for the best of both of you


    so what im saying is look beyond your "hurt". Personally I also wouldnt wanna be with someone Im into while im working cause its distracting.

    But I only work 5 hours a day with Fridays off and because of circumstances in the house I never really see him at the weekend so I feel like I don't see him that much anyway
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So theres a guy at work and we both started a kind of relationship. We're both managers but he has a small power over me so he makes final decisions at work and allocates me where to go. There are 2 places I can be, either with him in the office, or at the shop which is 15 minutes away. Once youre at the office, youre there the whole day and if I'm at the shop I'm there the whole day, however he always has to be in the office. So whenever I can I try to be with him at the office but he send me to the shop sometimes for like a week straight even though its not completely necessary, I could stay at the office. I obviously then miss him and he says he missed me too but I feel like he's just lying, if he did he wouldnt send me to the shop. And I'm 100% positive I don't NEED to be at the shop, not for that many consecutive days anyway. So I get that he's clearly not into this "relationship" thing as much as I am.

    We started out as FWB but I very quickly gained feelings for him and he has said to me that he likes me and he even buys me things quite often which makes me feel like he does genuinely have feelings for me. But then other times like how I've described above I feel like he's not interested at all and is just there for the sex, which tbh I'm fine with because thats the reason we started our FWB thing.

    But my main question is how do I not care for him and not have feelings for him so that I don't get hurt when he sends me to the shop? I feel rubbish at the end of the day when he send me there. And also, what does it sound like to you guys? Is he just wanting FWB?
    Just wondering how you getting on with your FWB situation? Am finding myself just like you at my work. Don't know what to do and feeling desperate and sad.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by glastah)
    Just wondering how you getting on with your FWB situation? Am finding myself just like you at my work. Don't know what to do and feeling desperate and sad.
    The situation has really been bringing me down up until last week. I've been at the shop so much that I hardly even see him so we haven't '"done" anything in about 3 weeks but I've gotten used to the fact I don't see him and have somehow managed to not feel much for him.

    I suggest that you just give it some time and acccept it's just a fwb. If you can't accept that then I suggest you should just drop the fwb situation and try finding someone else. I know that's easier said than done but at the end of the day, it's not going to develop into a relationship
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    Didnt have to read this to know the answer. Show him you dont need him. Don't waste your time on a F BOY!
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The situation has really been bringing me down up until last week. I've been at the shop so much that I hardly even see him so we haven't '"done" anything in about 3 weeks but I've gotten used to the fact I don't see him and have somehow managed to not feel much for him.

    I suggest that you just give it some time and acccept it's just a fwb. If you can't accept that then I suggest you should just drop the fwb situation and try finding someone else. I know that's easier said than done but at the end of the day, it's not going to develop into a relationship
    do you actually enjoy the sex with him knowing thats all he really wants?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The situation has really been bringing me down up until last week. I've been at the shop so much that I hardly even see him so we haven't '"done" anything in about 3 weeks but I've gotten used to the fact I don't see him and have somehow managed to not feel much for him.

    I suggest that you just give it some time and acccept it's just a fwb. If you can't accept that then I suggest you should just drop the fwb situation and try finding someone else. I know that's easier said than done but at the end of the day, it's not going to develop into a relationship
    He's told me he's leaving his partner and will spend more time with me then. But i feel he mostly makes excuses to avoid seeing me unless he feels like a benefit. I don't want to leave my job incase i can't find something else. Its the first time i have had sex with anyone and don't know if thats why i feel bad. Maybe guilty or feel used in some way.

    Do you miss not having sex for 3 weeks with him, or do you have other relationships? I don't even enjoy it much as its sore and he wants to go home as soon as he's done.

    Thank you for getting back to me. I don't have anyone else i can ask these sort of things. Please PM me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The situation has really been bringing me down up until last week. I've been at the shop so much that I hardly even see him so we haven't '"done" anything in about 3 weeks but I've gotten used to the fact I don't see him and have somehow managed to not feel much for him.

    I suggest that you just give it some time and acccept it's just a fwb. If you can't accept that then I suggest you should just drop the fwb situation and try finding someone else. I know that's easier said than done but at the end of the day, it's not going to develop into a relationship
    I think you know in your heart it isn't really working out and you are not happy deep down, might be best just to get out of the arrangement all together.

    (Original post by glastah)
    He's told me he's leaving his partner and will spend more time with me then. But i feel he mostly makes excuses to avoid seeing me unless he feels like a benefit. I don't want to leave my job incase i can't find something else. Its the first time i have had sex with anyone and don't know if thats why i feel bad. Maybe guilty or feel used in some way.

    Do you miss not having sex for 3 weeks with him, or do you have other relationships? I don't even enjoy it much as its sore and he wants to go home as soon as he's done.

    Thank you for getting back to me. I don't have anyone else i can ask these sort of things.
    In your case you need to stop sleeping with him now, he has a partner, does that not make you feel guilty?
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    (Original post by medhelp)
    er i think he just doesnt want to be around you ALL the time lol
    i wouldnt wanna be either
    time away = time to miss that person

    what he's doing is for the best of both of you


    so what im saying is look beyond your "hurt". Personally I also wouldnt wanna be with someone Im into while im working cause its distracting.
    I agree with this.

    I understand why you're upset OP but its not healthy for the relationship to be around the person you're with all the time.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    do you actually enjoy the sex with him knowing thats all he really wants?
    I have been enjoying it tbh maybe not as much as doing it with someone who youre connected with though but I still look forward to a hotel booking
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So theres a guy at work and we both started a kind of relationship. We're both managers but he has a small power over me so he makes final decisions at work and allocates me where to go. There are 2 places I can be, either with him in the office, or at the shop which is 15 minutes away. Once youre at the office, youre there the whole day and if I'm at the shop I'm there the whole day, however he always has to be in the office. So whenever I can I try to be with him at the office but he send me to the shop sometimes for like a week straight even though its not completely necessary, I could stay at the office. I obviously then miss him and he says he missed me too but I feel like he's just lying, if he did he wouldnt send me to the shop. And I'm 100% positive I don't NEED to be at the shop, not for that many consecutive days anyway. So I get that he's clearly not into this "relationship" thing as much as I am.

    We started out as FWB but I very quickly gained feelings for him and he has said to me that he likes me and he even buys me things quite often which makes me feel like he does genuinely have feelings for me. But then other times like how I've described above I feel like he's not interested at all and is just there for the sex, which tbh I'm fine with because thats the reason we started our FWB thing.

    But my main question is how do I not care for him and not have feelings for him so that I don't get hurt when he sends me to the shop? I feel rubbish at the end of the day when he send me there. And also, what does it sound like to you guys? Is he just wanting FWB?
    It's best to stay with him, but find your life and do your things without him
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by lenafrustick)
    It's best to stay with him, but find your life and do your things without him
    I feel like thats what I'm working towards. Im not constantly thinking about him and the situation now, going to a hotel room with him now feels like a wee bonus. I feel like it near enough does sound like a fwb situation now, not many emotions, thankfully
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like thats what I'm working towards. Im not constantly thinking about him and the situation now, going to a hotel room with him now feels like a wee bonus. I feel like it near enough does sound like a fwb situation now, not many emotions, thankfully
    Is it just me, or is it not obvious to you you're being used and taken for a "ride". All sounds a bit seedy to me. Why don't you do what you know is right and tell him where to go? Only the male gender will think what you are doing is ok. Wise up before you get hurt. Look for someone you can love and be loved by. FWB is not what you should looking for. Sounds like you may just be his bit on the side.
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like thats what I'm working towards. Im not constantly thinking about him and the situation now, going to a hotel room with him now feels like a wee bonus. I feel like it near enough does sound like a fwb situation now, not many emotions, thankfully
    am.xo is 100% correct
 
 
 
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