Am I a friend of convenience?

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    I'm in my 3rd year of uni and I became really close with a girl on my course in 2nd year after my friendship group fell and everyone went their separate ways. We visited a few places over the summer, went on nights out ,attended events and had loads of fun together. I thought I had found a great friend but now I'm starting to wonder if I'm just a 'reserve' and a friend of convenience.

    Since we have been back at uni I've noticed she only comes to me when she wants something or when she doesn't have anybody. or example we will spend time together before a lecture, walk into a lecture together and before I know it she has disappeared. At times we will walk into a class together and sit with a group of people, when the class is over she will get up and leave with the group whilst I'm still packing away for instance. When I do something for her she will not say "thank you" or acknowledge I've done her a favour. She does try to be everybody's friend, knows everybody in the year and bounces between friendship groups. In the past I have avoided people like that because it's difficult to develop deep friendships with them.

    I know it sounds really trivial but I feel like I'm being used. Nobody likes being used, I certainly don't. What would you do if you were in this situation?.

    Thoughts welcome.
    Serious answers only please
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in my 3rd year of uni and I became really close with a girl on my course in 2nd year after my friendship group fell and everyone went their separate ways. We visited a few places over the summer, went on nights out ,attended events and had loads of fun together. I thought I had found a great friend but now I'm starting to wonder if I'm just a 'reserve' and a friend of convenience.

    Since we have been back at uni I've noticed she only comes to me when she wants something or when she doesn't have anybody. or example we will spend time together before a lecture, walk into a lecture together and before I know it she has disappeared. At times we will walk into a class together and sit with a group of people, when the class is over she will get up and leave with the group whilst I'm still packing away for instance. When I do something for her she will not say "thank you" or acknowledge I've done her a favour. She does try to be everybody's friend, knows everybody in the year and bounces between friendship groups. In the past I have avoided people like that because it's difficult to develop deep friendships with them.

    I know it sounds really trivial but I feel like I'm being used. Nobody likes being used, I certainly don't. What would you do if you were in this situation?.

    Thoughts welcome.
    Serious answers only please
    I'd hate something like that - not having certainty and not knowing where you stand. It must be particularly upsetting given the amount of time you spent and that 'bond' you feel with her - that seems rather unrequited, I'm guessing.

    I think the best thing to do is sit her down and ask her (in person or in chat) what her true feelings towards you are and if she just uses you as a reserve. Tell her that you think you are a friend of convenience.

    Otherwise, you should perhaps stop asking her to walk to lectures with you and stop going to her, and try and see if she comes to you? Perhaps she'll realise what she's missing when she doesn't have it to her disposal anymore. It doesn't seem like she values you and is the type of person you're best of forming a deep friendship with, so you might want to try and find other people that will treat you in the way you deserve.

    Good luck - let me know how it goes
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    Shame.

    After that summer you'd sort of hope you might have made a long-term friend.
 
 
 
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