This will probably be a long post, sorry in advance
I know there has probably been a lot of threads similar to this of people in a similar position, but I don't have a clear sense of what I should do and feel I am slightly different to those who have previously made threads.
I started uni last month and really hated it. I couldn't fit in with anyone in my hall or on my course which made me feel excluded and generally quite lonely. As I was catered this led to me not wanting to go to meals because I'm not the type of person who can just go and sit with people and get along with them. If I went and sat with people I didn't know I wouldn't know what to say so I wouldn't do that, and I also don't want to sit alone so I just avoided it completely. I could go and buy food to make myself but the pantry only had a microwave/toaster which would limit the food I could have, and the accommodation cost included meals so I would be spending even more on food this way, it just wasn't feasible. On top of this the course content wasn't really what I imagined and made me contemplate whether I had chosen the wrong course for me. All of these things lead to me leaving, and now I am back home.
I never thought I would have a problem with uni because socially I have been quite competent. However this is because I've been in the same group of friends for years so I am comfortable around them and it was easy for me. Never really in my life before have I been in a situation where I don't know anyone at all, so I never knew uni would be as difficult as this. I was always looking forward to it and never thought I would have these problems.
The issue is, what to do now? Part of me knows I am capable of making friends, just not as easy as everyone else. This gives me some hope that maybe I could try uni again, but I think to myself that the same thing would happen again and I would hate it, but I really don't want to have to go through all that trouble for nothing again. It's probably easy to say give it time, join societies etc, but thanks to the way I am I tend to avoid doing things if I have to be around people I don't know, and avoid talking. Like in a lecture I might be by myself but obviously there are people around everywhere in the lecture hall, but I won't talk to anybody if they don't talk to me. It's just the way I am, and I never know what to say even if I did somehow manage to try to talk to someone
This made me consider something like the Open University as obviously that eliminates having to fit in with new people. Yes maybe I would go to some in-person tutorials etc but I would have something in common with those people, we would all be doing the same course. I wouldn't have to try and fit in with them or make friends with them as I wouldn't be around them every day. I would only need to talk about the course content and I wouldn't find that difficult. The problem with OU is there isn't the uni experience which isn't the biggest issue just that I would have wanted the uni experience (if I could manage it!). Also the fact it could be up to 6 years just for a bachelors degree. That is a long time and I think to myself would I want to be studying at home until I'm 24, I really don't know.
Apparently there are colleges and other places that sort of specialise in helping people with an ASD, in an environment where someone who has one doesn't feel different to everyone else, to make them more comfortable. However from what I've seen these aren't going to offer anything I would want, and tend to be more vocational.
I do want a degree, mostly because that will open the most doors. I also feel like talent would go to waste otherwise because I got A*A*A at A-level and I can't imagine anyone getting those grades and then choosing not to go to uni (without any reason like me)
Are there any other options I haven't thought of? Or does anyone have any advice about the options I have considered, or general advice?
Asperger's at Uni Watch
- Thread Starter
- 01-01-1970 02:00
- 02-07-2017 11:15
A bit late perhaps but there are usually (or there are now) groups for people with Aspergers where they all meet up, make friends and discuss things.
- 02-07-2017 22:41
I suppose you could consider staying at home while going to uni instead of staying in halls, if you find it more uncomfortable doing the latter.
Yes maybe I would go to some in-person tutorials etc but I would have something in common with those people, we would all be doing the same course
- 02-07-2017 23:03