The Student Room Group

My dad's having another affair

Just wanted to know what you think of this, because I am personally appalled and think this is pretty bad.

Basically my parents are divorced and have been for almost 5 years now, anyway so you'd think my dad would be happy with his new wife.

So yeah, like I make the effort, and after much hard work, I am finally starting to get along with her, and all is pretty much going well, and then my dad has just told me that he is having another affair!!

Let me take a step back and paint this picture for you, I don't get along very well with my mother but I guess because my dad had me young (younger dad, biological mother is older than my dad :biggrin: ) and he's closer to my age, or I dunno! Our personalities, we get along ok. And usually he confides in me, and it's cool. But no, this time I am not impressed.

What should I say to my dad? :s-smilie: :rolleyes:

Seriously not happy about this.
Reply 1
To be honest it's not really anything to do with you. You can say how disappointed you are to him privately, but in the end it's his own life and you have to let him make his own choices.
Reply 2
Has he said why hes having an affair, are he and his wife having problems you dont know about?

Its a difficult situation to be in really, and now you're going to be carrying the stress of this too, which is a little unfair of your dad to put on you- if you know what I mean

Just tell him how you really feel and see what he says, then take it from there? Obviously you cant force him to stop seeing this woman or whatever, he needs to make his own decisions/choices. Im not sure what else to suggest really, sorry!
Reply 3
Thanks :smile:

Yeh like, because I was a bit of a tomboy growing up and he took me to the footie, etc like he thinks I'm gonna go 'haha that's really funny, cool' and stuff and I'm not!

I totally do not agree with it, and I know that his current wife always quarrels with him, picks fights etc but that's NO reason to start looking for someone else, let alone talk on the phone, email, meet up after work, plan to meet up later :rolleyes:

I don't wanna know the rest :p:
Honestly, I'm a little appalled that a father would choose his son as a confidante if he's cheating on his second wife, especially if the first divorce hit you pretty hard.

Frankly, you should tell him you're happy he feels like he can confide in you, but for a subject like this, he needs a grownup friend, not his son.
Reply 5
Lalalala! *Does a little twirl in her little pink dress*

I am not a guy! :biggrin:

So does this give you the general idea why it's such a problem now? He confides in his favourite DAUGHTER (me, dunno why he has such a soft spot for me :rolleyes: But I think it's to do with the fact that career-wise I'm a lot like him, ie. ambitious, going into government etc). Anyway that's what I told him, so I'm glad you suggested that. Like, I go 'you know that's cool and all you telling me, and I'm happy about seeing the new Bruce Willis film with you but quite frankly I think this affair part 2 thing is slightly out of order' :s-smilie:
:eek:

Sorry! I glanced at your name and saw "Daniel Apart"... Just gut-reacted..
I'm off to bury my head in the garbage... :blushing: Here, have a pair of my shoes instead!

But yes, your gender, if anything, makes it more inappropriate. if you were a guy, you might just be able to pass it off as, y'know, "manly" talk about "dem womenfolk. you gotta lot to learn about dem, mah son..".
But good you got it off your chest. The children are a parents' life and joy, but you should never burden them with something like this.
Reply 7
You should definalty ask him why he's doing it and let him know you wont be 'high 5ing' him for it because you really dont approve. If it makes you uncomforatble him telling you these things you really need to let him know that, it sounds lilke he treats you like a best friend and not a duaghter.