I&#x27;m not in love...

What do you want from this relationship? If you want all that stuff yuo just said then tell him so, communication is the key here. If you're happy with how things are but are just getting worried by comparing you guys to others and feeling that you come off 2nd best then stop. As long as you are happy then it doens't matter what others do.
Personally i'd want some of that sweet stuff and am in love with my girlfriend but everyone is different

Reply 2

big?mark

Well you sound bothered by the lack of commitment which makes me think you care about the relationship and want it to go somewhere?

To be honest, saying i love you is a waste of time at first. I said it after 4 months, and then later realised i only actually ment it after a year.

4 months is a short time to be with something, and usually, my friends who meet boys and after a few weeks start telling everyone how much they love them end up single. Not because the boys get scared, but just because they thought they knew the person when they actually didnt.

Why dont you try talking to your bf and try and find out how much he likes you.

Some boys just arent comfortable declaring their love for somebody, or maybe he's just abit more mature than putting 'I love whoever' in their msn name, either way it doesnt mean he doesnt care about you.

4 months is still early days, i think. But you should be able to talk to him about it.

Reply 3

LinMolko321

Sounds to me like the relationship might not be going anywhere, however I do think you're putting yourselves down because you are comparing your relationships to others!

I'd say, address the situation, why don't you ask him why he's not leaving you romantic messages?

I can't really assess the situation properly, as i don't know you both. When you are together, are you close? 4 months can be a little early to be confessing your in love with each other.

Hope this helps :smile:

Reply 4

Innuendo_anonymous

Well i'd say that a lot depends on your bf's old relationships. On whether they were serious or casual. If they were casual then maybe he just doesn't know how to have a serious relationship and doesn't know how to show affection with "sweet comments" etc etc. But if they were serious relationships, the lack of affection he's showing you could be because he was hurt in the past and doesn't want it to happen again.

There could be several other reasons why he's acting like this but i'd suggest you just talk to him about how you're feeling and where the relationship is going.

Hope this helped :smile:

Reply 5

Dream catch me

OP

The thing is, when he text me it is sweet like he would say 'I wish you were' the thing is we have been apart more than we have been together, we spent a month together then we had to go away for the summer. I have been in relationships in the past, where u just say i love u after a few weeks, but their soon ended. He has been in one serious relationship but cheated on her. He has been in relationships ever since he was 15, and never been single for longer than 2 months. Same as me. I just feel that, seeing other couples saying 'i love u, i miss you' on facebook. I just want him to do it! but i cant force him! which i could! would be so much easier. He is very independant and needs his space. I'm learning more about him and the more i learn the more I'm sure i want to be with him. I just hope he feels the same way. I'm taking it as he does cos he hasn't dumped me- yet! x

Reply 6

Dream catch me

I've been reading loads of threads about couples being together for a short while and they have already said 'i love u' to each other. Me and my boyfriend has been together for 4 months and I don't love him at all. I think its too soon. Also, as my boyfriend had lots of girlfriends in the past. I don't think he will ever love me, as he probably just classed me as one of his girlfriends. do you know? I mean we don't talk every day, i haven't seen him as much cos of the summer. He never leaves me romantic messages on facebook. All his mates who are in rellie leaves sweet comments to their other half, even some are in shorter relationship than ours!. And i get nothing, im not even listed in a relationship with him. Just we both state we are in a relationship. I don't know, maybe i need to stop comparing our relationship to others. Or maybe this relationship is not going anywhere?

If you're happy, that's all that matters. If his behaviour leads you to feeling inadequate or like you're missing out, drop him like a hot potato and get a guy who treats you the way you want to be treated

Reply 7

If you have these thoughts and concerns then talk to the poor guy about them. It's all very well telling us but leaving him in the dark seems more than a little daft.

I take it you're ok with the past cheating? I wouldn't say he should be crucified for it if he's never done it to you but it would be a concern to me somewhat.
Just remember, you're still young and it's very unlikely you're gonna be with this guy for life. Don't change to be like him to stop him dumping you :smile:

Reply 8

Dream catch me

OP

SmilerNuts

If you have these thoughts and concerns then talk to the poor guy about them. It's all very well telling us but leaving him in the dark seems more than a little daft.

I take it you're ok with the past cheating? I wouldn't say he should be crucified for it if he's never done it to you but it would be a concern to me somewhat.
Just remember, you're still young and it's very unlikely you're gonna be with this guy for life. Don't change to be like him to stop him dumping you :smile:

Yeah his cheating has left me worried..but he has reassured me that he wouldnt do it to me. He has been through alot when i first met him, which has changed his ways. And I do honestly, think, that he won't cheat on me. Also, I'm not changing just to cater him. I know i should tell him,but im too scared incase i scare him off!

Reply 9

Dream catch me

but im too scared incase i scare him off!

So you'd rather be unhappy with him than content on your own?

Reply 10

Like i said, this is not gonna be a life defining relationship, not at our age.
If you don't tell him stuff like this now, which in all honesty is fairly small, then you're gonna struggle to communicate the bigger things later on. If you can't talk to your partner then i dunno why you would be with them.
Just get some courage and go for it, it's the best thing to do

Reply 11

^^ what is a life defining relationship?
if you mean you won't stay together in the long run, well why not?

Reply 12

Tasha89

^^ what is life defining relationship? lol

One where you're gonna be with that person for the rest of your life obviously

Reply 13

^^ well how can you be that certain?
I know people who met at like 16/17 and married 8 years later.

Reply 14

Tasha89

^^ well how can you be that certain?

Certain about what exactly?

Reply 15

Tasha89

^^ what is a life defining relationship?
if you mean you won't stay together in the long run, well why not?

Hate to be annoying but trust, you won't stay together forever. Why not? You just won't.

Reply 16

SmilerNuts

Certain about what exactly?

I mean that a relationship at this age could last in the long run.

Reply 17

tetrahydrocannabinol.

Hate to be annoying but trust, you won't stay together forever. Why not? You just won't.

yes, that is what I'm asking; why not? It's highly unlikely but possible.

Reply 18

Tasha89

I mean that a relationship at this age could last in the long run.

It's highly highly unlikely, and the one we're discussing? Well, I'd put money on it certainly not lasting forever.

Reply 19