Starting Single or in a Relationship?

Poll

Starting Uni in a relationship or being single?

So it's almost that time of year again, woop it's Uni time! :biggrin:

Anyway my question is, do you think it's better to start uni (or any new thing that's a big change like that) in a relationship or being single?
If you're single then you can flirt with that cute girl you just met in the bar or pull that hot guy from Film Studies and have now worries about it.
In a relationship you can't do that but you've always got someone to fall back on and support you if things are going badly or you have worries.

What do you all think?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Fluent in Lies

I think neither is preferable, just differen't.

(why the hell have I put an apostrophe there?)

Reply 2

bunthulhu

I was in a relationship which I found quite nice as I had someone who was there for me but not actually present which made me feel a little more secure but at the same time let me spread my wings :smile:

Although, I wouldn't have done anything differently if I was single.

Reply 3

grace

i started uni in a relationship and i really wish i hadn't. he lived closer to me when i was at uni then he did before i started, so he was breathing down my neck all the time, wanted to be with me every night, didn't let me go out (literally, i only went out one night during my fresher's fortnight!) and was generally suspicious of any new friends i made (god FORBID they should be male!) and was really obsessive about me.

he was never like this at all in the year we went out prior to going to uni.

and haha the ironic thing is i was always faithful to him, and he cheated on me repeatedly, and eventually dumped me because he met someone who he decided he liked better than me, over the space of a week. Yet i was the one who couldn't be trusted :rolleyes:

so my personal experience of starting uni with a bf is needleess to say, not a good one. i wish i was single, or at least had not listened or complied with his overbearingness. when he finally dumped me it was like i had to 'start over' again, making friends etc when everyone already had established their groups of friends. it was hard.

Reply 4

bunthulhu

Can't there be an option for 'doesn't matter'?

Reply 5

SmilerNuts

You can't edit polls once they're up though can you? :s-smilie:

I get the feeling my girlfriend will act much like Grace's boyfriend did, lucky me :rolleyes:

Reply 6

I really don't want to start university with a girlfriend. It'd just be far too messy and i'd probably end up breaking up with her anyway, i actually had the choice a couple of months ago and finished things with a girl before it got too serious partially because i knew i was going to university and the relationship had no future.

Reply 7

sib

I intend to start Uni with my bf of three years... I just hope we can stand the pressure cos thing have been a bit rocky lately... :frown:

Reply 8

crazyhorse100

i was having the same dilemma this time last year - had a gf of 2 years and decided to split up with her before starting for the benefits mentioned above. but when it came to actually 'doing the deed' i realised that it wasn't very sensible to split up with a girl whos been good to me for 2years just so i can be just-another-guy-on-the-pull without it weighing on my conscience.

anyway we stayed together, things were a bit rocky for the first term but soon got better n now i almost prefer being apart (bristol/manc), cos we have seperate lives at uni but when we do see each other its always special.

my advice: go with it if you've got the choice!

Reply 9

sib

cheers!

Reply 10

JaneThePain

I'm starting in a relationship, and I think that I might prefer it. I mean, I won't have the pressure of being the stereotypical fresher and getting as many lads as possible- I can just have fun and know that I have my man :biggrin:

Reply 11

crazyhorse100

i was able to enjoy freshers much more because when most people were worrying about first impressions, esp with hot girls/guys, i wasnt bothered so i was able to be myself much more. other people who started in a relationship agreed you just have to have a LOT of trust for each other...

Reply 12

Ang|ophi|e

Unless you're in a real serious relationship, it's better to start university off being single. When you're there you will meet a whole bunch of new people and being in a relationship can tie you down. But if you're really devoted to someone then stay with them, no use breaking up with someone who can potenially be 'the one'.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

I'm going to be going to uni in a relationship, but I'm really unsure about it. If it wasn't a serious relationship I'd end it before we went (my bfs going too but to a different one) but he always tells me how much he loves me and how he doesn't want to lose me, so I don't want to be a total bitch and ruin his last summer at home and the start of uni.

The whole issue is starting to put a strain on our realtionship (from my POV) because its worrying me, I'm going into self destruct mode and get annoyed with him easily for no reason and don't want to see him because of it. Although I don't tell him this because I do care about him and don't want to upset him or hurt his feelings.

I think the reason I'm being like this is because I see being in a relationship when I'm starting this whole new experience with the chance to meet all different kinds of people is going to hold me down and I know I'm being incredibly selfish to think this.

Any ideas on what I should do?

Thanks and sorry for the rant, I had to get it out because its been stressing me out.

Reply 14

shewantstobeme

I'm going in a relationship which isn't really really serious, but we are loyal to one another and best friends. My boyfriend and I are being open-minded to the fact that anything could happen to our relationship because of uni (such as drifting apart, realising how strong we are or discovering we fancy someone else).
I guess the hardest bit would be one person wanting to end it, and the other not wanting to, but just see how it goes.

If I want to be with my boyfriend, why should I call it off just because of uni? I may as well see how it goes :smile:

If as soon as I get there I fancy someone a little, and two days later find myself wanting to be single, the harsh reality would be to split up.
I see uni as a lifestyle, not just an education, so I want to be happy, and like Grace said, you don't want to be restricted.

Reply 15

elliotmcv

Unless I meet someone truly amazing in the next six weeks, I'll also be going single :smile:

Reply 16

JosephineM

Single. Basically because of the distance between UK and my home country.

Reply 17

linkin1988

Going into my 2nd year, Still in a relationship :smile:

Reply 18

Ang|ophi|e

To Anon.# 1: You have to ask yourself: Why are you staying in this relationship? If it's for the wrong reasons, no point in staying in it. But if you genuinely love him where not even distance can stop your love for him , then remain in the relationship.

Sounds to me you're in it for the wrong reasons.

Reply 19

The$W£D£

elliotmcv

Unless I meet someone truly amazing in the next six weeks, I'll also be going single :smile:

Unless i meet jessica alba or milian in the next 6 weeks, i too will be single =D

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