mum's reaction to everything I do

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    #1

    My mother is driving me nuts. I'm at uni across the country so I talk to her a couple of times a week on skype. But she still finds ways to insult me. I got my hair cut today - 2 on sides, 6 on top - and I'm already feeling angry about our next skype call. I know she will laugh at me and say (as she does every ****ing time) "oh did you have a fight with a lawnmower ha ha ha". Yes, obviously, that is what I did. :rolleyes: No joke: every ****ing time for the last 3 years.

    Then there's my clothes, if I'm wearing something new I'll get told how I look like a "freak" just because I'm wearing a tshirt with a graphic she doesn't get. I recently bought a new jacket as my old one was getting really tatty. I had it hanging on the back of my chair as there wasn't enough wardrobe room and she asked me to show it to her only for her to reply "why did you buy that for? Did you go shopping with your eyes closed?".

    I hate her stupid comments, she thinks she's funny but she just keeps putting me down and it hurts - as well as being extremely annoying. I have a mental health condition so if I don't skype her every few days she worries that I'm in the hospital again then starts emailing/facebooking everyone she knows I know to work out why I'm not on skype. So it's not just a case of refusing to talk to her because then she bugs everyone I know but even now I'm already feeling angry in advance because I know her reaction to my haircut.

    Oops sorry about the length - as you can probably tell I'm feeling pissed off.

    Advice?
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    Ease up it was probably quite painful for her when she squeezed you out. And she must have some redeeming features...
    #2

    Roast her back, say things like this: "Well, then, as a mother, you're not doing your job properly are you?" and "Mum, how old are you? Do you really think it's appropriate to talk to your own child like that?" and "Where did you get your hair done? At a pet shop?" and "Okay, why don't you just stand in the middle of the town road and make some money with your clothes?" or just hang up immediately after she insults you, then she may know that she's gone too far.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Roast her back, say things like this: "Well, then, as a mother, you're not doing your job properly are you?" and "Mum, how old are you? Do you really think it's appropriate to talk to your own child like that?" and "Where did you get your hair done? At a pet shop?" and "Okay, why don't you just stand in the middle of the town road and make some money with your clothes?" or just hang up immediately after she insults you, then she may know that she's gone too far.
    You sound really insecure and overly defensive. Just sayin'.
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    As soon as she starts to become abusive, hang up on Skype. Tell her you won't tolerate being constantly put down and that every time she does it will cut her off.
    Feeling sad for you, lovely. X
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Zarek)
    Ease up it was probably quite painful for her when she squeezed you out. And she must have some redeeming features...
    So she can treat me however she likes just because she gave birth to me?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So she can treat me however she likes just because she gave birth to me?
    No, she may not treat you in this way. It's emotional abuse. No one has the right to treat you this way, especially so your mother. She has to be made aware that the way she is behaving towards you is having a negative effect on you.
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    Have you tried talking to her about this?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by lawlieto)
    Have you tried talking to her about this?
    Yes. She laughs it off when I tell her I feel hurt and says "I'm only telling the truth".
    #3

    Agree with Seamus. Your mum sounds toxic.

    Do you have anyone you can talk with about this? If you're at uni free counsellor might be worth a shot. :hugs:

    Also make loads of supportive friends x
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    You poor thing your mum should never speak to you like that. Maybe you could try explaining that it makes you feel insecure and upset and (possibly) worsens your mental health? Then that way she may feel she has to change her behaviour if she knows it's affecting your health. Hope you get sorted soon and try not to take her comments to heart, mums are a lot older and some tend not to understand the latest fashions.
    #2

    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    You sound really insecure and overly defensive. Just sayin'.
    Yes, I am. A mother should NEVER speak to her own child like that :mad:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes. She laughs it off when I tell her I feel hurt and says "I'm only telling the truth".
    What about talking to your dad about this? Maybe he could open her eyes?
    I know this sounds childish, but I agree with the people who say you should do the same to her. If you can't reason with her, that's the only solution left. You shouldn't emotionally suffer because of this...
    Have you got any siblings? Maybe they could help? Or try to tell your mum you want to sit down with her for real, and try to sound very serious about this.
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    Don't beat around the bush and say you just don't like being insulted etc. But don't cut off your mum as other people have said, she obviously cares about you and family is always a good thing to have.
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    Her mother has gone where no parent should go, and that is, to abuse her child in any way. Emotional and verbal abuse is damaging to a child's mental and physical wellbeing.
    And, no, family is only a good thing to have when it serves the needs of those in it. Being a parent does not give them carte blance to treat someone in this way any more than it would be correct for her to treat her mother in this way.
    I cannot see anything anywhere in the OP's original post that the mother cares about her, or have I missed something?
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    Dump her and look for another mum.
 
 
 
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