So I've been getting help for my depression but it only the start so not much has happened, i have had some therapy sessions and support within my school. i have a boyfriend and some very close friends (used to be). i'm not sure if its my head that's making me imagine things that aren't actually happening or if it is there and i'm just confused. when me and my main close friend E started becoming friends, i saw that my boyfriend H who was a just a crush at the time, was talking to E in a sexual way but E did not respond to it. Now i question whether H still finds her attractive and i'm just a last option as its not the only girl. when me and H were actually in a relationship, i found a nude picture of another girl on his phone which had only been deleted the day before, it wasn't when we were together officially but we were talking and everyone was aware of it, if he could do things like that when we weren't official yet, then whats stopping him from doing it now? i mean he makes me so happy and helps me with my depression but at times he does make me worse. if i were to compare myself to any other girl he would reassure m but when i compare myself to E he does not reassure me at all, he wouldn't say anything and would change the subject, the one person i'm worried about the most and he doesn't do anything to make me think otherwise, that he doesn't like her in that way. all i can think about is hes chosen her once before, why wont he choose her again? also she has said shes hated him for almost a year and now suddenly shes constantly around him and im the one that walks behind the both of them, what do i do? ive tried to get rid of them both but when i lost him i had my worst breakdown yet but she wont let me go, and she makes it seem like i'm a bad person, saying that shes only doing it to make things easier for me, but it doesn't, it makes it more difficult, so whats going on? before she started getting closer to him, she would alwasy bring up the past and say howhes going to cheat on me and leave me and how hes such a bad person despite me saying that hes changed. now shes saying she doesnt want to hate him anymore because hes changed, but why is she only accepting it now and not before? i'm so lost and confused. PS. sorry its a bit long its just very complicated
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