I keep letting myself down with behaviour for example in school I keep shouting out the answers and speaking when I want to without putting my hand up .I keep arguing with my sister as she is annoying me so so much as clothing belongs in the f****** closet, not a chair and not a bed for f sake sorry I am swearing messy people make my blood boil.I feel badly raised and I feel bad for being badly raised I hate being who I am I don't want to be who I am, I feel ashamed of that person I really do I can't stand them all they ever do is say absolute bs oh hate I hate myself why do I have to keep embarrassing myself I wish I could just stop talking I wish I could lose my ability to talk really just to save my face because half the things I come up with is utter poppycock.I feel really angry at myself I feel like I act dysfunctional and low class I feel like I am uncivilized and I cannot take it any longer I feel embarrassed I bet my parents do to no wonder they always go places without me
I just want to have good manners and carry myself well I am tired of feeling embarrassed of myself as I feel poorly brought up I feel like Pip from great expectations, to be honest but slightly worse.
How can I behave really really well
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